LET IT GO!~

If you are a parent, then I would guess that you have heard the song “Let it go” from Frozen at least 5 million and 3 times by now. I know I have…..wait a minute….make that 5 million and 4 times now.  -_-  I know that many of you are so sick of that song you can’t even stand another second of it. I actually really like the song and I haven’t become completely pukey about it yet! …but I can feel the time of pukesville drawing near. When I first heard the song I was like, yeah…let it go! Let your inner music shine and all that really great, inspirational stuff. Now though…I have heard it so many times that I can’t help but think of that song in the most random of times and for the most random of things. If you really stop and think about it, you can use that song for so many different situations. I have compiled some situations in which that song works perfectly for. Sometimes it helps in life to just make the shit that is happening into a song. So here ya go, Situations that “Let it Go” can apply to:

 

You are sitting in your car in the middle of traffic and all of a sudden those tacos you had for lunch decide they are ready for an exit. The problem is….you are sitting in the middle of traffic and it doesn’t look as if it is letting up anytime soon! So you try and talk yourself out of it. That doesn’t work. Then you try and do the shake your butt back and forth dance hoping it keeps you from having to sing the “I shit my pants song!”  Doesn’t work! So you start praying….even if you are not religious at all…you have instantly become spiritual because you are now praying to anybody that will listen from up above. You squeeze with everything you got, and once you finally make it to the toilet at this moment you can sing “Let it Go” with all your might and really mean it! Side note – Why is it that when you have to go to the bathroom so damn bad, and you are racing for the toilet, every step you get closer to the toilet makes you have to go even worse?

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Another variation of the bathroom situation where you can use that song is when you are in a public restroom, and you need to go, but there is a person in the stall next to you. I bet they are in the same predicament and also want to let it go. So you kind of are at a stale mate at this point because both of you are waiting for the other one to finish up and leave so you can “let it go!” …Just sing…..sing loud enough so that when you actually let it go,…all they hear is singing. They will appreciate it as well, …especially if they are stuck waiting for you to leave. Maybe they will start singing with you. Side note- Dudes don’t really get this either. They don’t seem to have that thing about noises coming from the bathroom stalls….actually I think they enjoy those noises…

 

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It’s been a long day! You finally made it home and all you want to do is relax! At this point…it’s time to take off your bra and set the girls free! As you are taking off your bra, it is a great time to sing “Let it go!” It makes the whole experience so much more gratifying! Dudes don’t get this one either!

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When you are in a public place and you drop your food! Trust me on this….you need to sing the song “Let it go” and then actually just “let it go!” I know sometimes it’s hard to do that….especially if you dropped something really good, but at this point…just let it go!

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When you step on the scale after a weekend of binge eating! Look up and start singing “Let it go!”

 

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You go to the same coffee place everyday. And every day you order the same thing. Yet, every day they get your order wrong! EVERY DAY!! Walk up to the counter and look the girl directly in the face. Serenade her….Sing as loud as your voice can go!..” Let it go….let it go, can’t hold it back anymore….Let it go, let it go…turn away and slam the door..” and then walk out!

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You walk by the sink and the dishes are billowing out just staring at you and making you feel like you are bad at cleaning the house! Give the dishes your middle finger and start singing… “Let it go!”

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The same applies to the laundry in the washing machine that you have to keep washing because you forget about it and it now smells like death! Or the laundry in the dryer that you keep restarting because you don’t want to fold it! Just sing my friends… sing…”Let it go!”

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You’re in the store and you see something you really, really want. You pull out your wallet and realize that your wallet contains a receipt from Walmart for a bra and Ben and Jerry’s that you bought last week, and some lint! Well, that’s not going to work is it. So as you walk away sing as loud as you possible can..”Let it go”….people will stare….but let them! …just keep singing, just keep singing,..just keep singing singing singing what do we do..we sing, sing , sing….And even though you might have considered for a very brief moment of pocketing it..NO..you can NOT do that!

 

Next time you are in a fight with someone, it doesn’t even matter who it is, start singing at them. As they are trying to “make their point” to you….start singing slowly. They might say..”what?? what are you doing?” …that’s when you let it out! Go all Mariah Carey on the mofo and LET IT GO!!! Keep singing until they just walk away…YOU WIN!!

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It’s 2:00 in the morning, and your are woken up by the feel of something wet and warm running down your body. You wonder for a minute if you are dreaming. Then you wonder if you actually just pissed yourself! The reality of it is that your 2 year old who is “mostly” potty trained…except at night of course….took off their pull up because THEY ALWAYS DO THAT…and then climbed into bed with you and pissed on you! Why??…who the fuck knows why!! All I know is that it’s 2 in the damn morning and I have piss on me. I have a decision to make here. Do I get up and change the sheets and change all the clothes and do all the stuff, or do I just Let it go! Yep…you guessed it right…I’m sleeping in the piss and singing myself back to sleep…”Let it GO”…I’m fucking tired..

 

 

A video my friends:..

 

Why are You so Fat??!!~

 

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What a messed up world we live in. We all know it, deep down. Some may try to ignore it, others are out there changing it, but most of us, let’s be honest, rant about it. A good rant now and again can be helpful, to those hearing it and those saying it. My rant of choice? Obesity.

I was watching an episode of the wonderful television series House, one of my family’s favorite shows. The victim, always presented within the first five minutes of the show, was a ten-year-old little girl, an overweight outcast among her fellow gym students. She had no friends, was teased a lot, and suffered from serious self loathing regardless of her mother’s love and acceptance of her. It was the set up for a serious sob story.

As the doctor’s scrambled to figure out what was wrong with her, their opinions of the girl’s weight became clear. One doctor thought the girl needed understanding and compassion, while the other thought fat-shaming would do more good. This isn’t even what bugged me. All the doctor’s in the show say their opinions, argue about them, and sometimes their opinions are harsh. What bugged me was the ending. The little ten-year-old girl ended up having a medical issue that resulted in her weight gain. With one risky surgery, she would be back to normal, and even better, she would lose weight. What a happy ending, right? The little girl got to be thin after all. The fat-shaming doctor even complimented her.

As I said earlier, I love House, it is a great show, but is this really a good ending? It means that the writer or writers of the show sat down and thought, “What would be the happiest ending for this episode?” And the answer was that the girl became thin, just like everybody else. Wait a second, how is that the happy ending? Did she learn that she was fine the way she was? No. Did she learn that outward appearance is worth nothing if you aren’t a good person? No. Did the fat-shaming doctor learn to be more understanding? Nope. At least the mother in the show said that she was always fantastic, which was nice, but lost amongst the crap.

Now that you readers have an understanding of the episode, let me dig deeper. Those that think the chubby, the overweight, and the full-on fat people are gross or messed up, or think that fat-shaming is a solution to it all, I want to present you with some history. In early America, this country enslaved African Americans, and treated them horribly. Why? Because their skin was different. Within the same country, the supposed “land of the free”, women weren’t allowed to be educated, or allowed to vote. Why? Because they didn’t have penises. Better yet, let me bring up a really tough topic: Hitler. Oh yes, I am going there. Hitler and his brainless followers dubbed the Jewish people to be ugly. Dark hair or a slightly protruding nose were seen as wrong.

I love that we all look back at those times and think, “Ha! How stupid people were! We are soooo much more sophisticated now!” But, are we? Has anything changed? Those were cases of discrimination, and for the most stupid of reasons. Discrimination is still here, still present in so many ways. We haven’t evolved, not in the least. The only thing that’s different about us is that we have a long, long list of history to look to for advice, and we are ignoring it. Now how smart do you feel?

We shouldn’t be paying so much attention on how others look, it’s just ridiculous. When I was a kid, I was very, very shy. And, when I picked a friend, it wasn’t based on size, shape, color or whatever. I chose a friend if the person was nice to me. That’s it. It shouldn’t be any different when you grow up.

Oh, and though there are fat-shamers, there is another group that needs mentioning. The Falsely Concerned. These are the people that claim they say such rude things out of concern for the person’s health or well-being. Mm, yeah, no, I call bullshit. You are not concerned about the Hollywood celebrity that gained weight after her baby. You are not concerned for the plus size model in the photo shoot. And you certainly aren’t concerned for a stranger that you meet on the street. What you are doing is trying to make yourself feel better and more important by forcing your unwanted words into our ear canals or into our retinas. By sitting on your high horse of healthy foods, you’re acting like you’ve never tried a twinkie. Be serious, you were a kid once, you have had a fudging twinkie. Your bowels and lower intestines still stink, and what you put in the toilet is still shit, though it’s hard to tell the difference between that and what’s coming out of your mouth.

I think my rant just got weird… Anyway, the main thing I am trying to convey is that fat-shaming is wrong. Shaming of any sort is wrong. Our children should want to become scientists, or veterinarians, or chefs. Our children should want a better happily ever after than being thin.

 

 

This Guest Blogger sure does know how to rant! Well,…she learned from the best!  She got it from her Momma!! :) This is the daughter of Vagina….literally if you think about it….

A video~

My Guest is super Bitchy!~ GUEST BLOGGER

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Who’s ready for a rant?… I thought so. Though, I don’t want to disappoint all you loyal Vagina readers out there, but this is not she. The voice you are hearing (words you are reading?) is that of Vagina’s sister. I am not going to try to come up with a clever nick name involving a body part. That conversation could get awkward… though I am fairly sure that my lovely sister would not shy away from the challenge. But if you guys are watchers of her videos (which, if you’re not, you totally should be!!! Do it now!) I am the “Creeper” found in the Shopping with Vagina’s Mom video that took place at Goodwill. Some background detail…. The Goodwill associates kept asking me if I was going to buy what I was wearing, except all of that: the sunglasses, the poncho, the hat are all mine and are currently sitting in my closet. So, go watch the video and come back and know how cool the person is you are listening (reading?) to is.

 

So, I told my sister quite sometime ago I would do a guest blog for her. She and I both share the same annoyances with social media. Much of what you have read or watched of her talking about Facebook spawns from conversations we seem to have on a regular basis. The rants got more frequent when she started this blog and I became a Communication major. (So, side note: The only reason the rants got more frequent for her is because she now spends much more time on social media hobnobbing with other bloggers, whom she loves. And she LOVES all her readers. But you must relate in that after so many hours on Face Book you start to get a little twitchy.) I am little more hardcore in that I REALLY hate all forms of social media yet am still an active user of it…and I hate myself. I have the FB app on my phone and I use it during times of boredom (generally during class, it’s a problem). But there is never anything interesting on there. I try to delete it, once went 6 months without it, but something always brings me back. But now to connect all this to why being a Communication Major has made my hate stronger.

 

The study of Communication (not CommunicationS) is the study of how people relate to other people. So, romantic relationships, work place interactions etc… One of my favorite subjects I have come across is that of friendships. I think it is because I finally knew that what I was feeling when it came to my friendships was completely normal. I am one of these people that has had a lot of other people come in and out of her life but only considers very FEW of them friends, the rest are close acquaintances. That sorta means that my friendships are some of the closest relationships I have to my heart and when they end I find my heart breaks much like someone else’s might when a romantic relationship ends. Social media has made more people experience this type of “friendship breakup”. Hold on now before you go disagreeing… let me make my case.

 

Years and years of studies have shown that the ending of romantic relationships is suppose to naturally end with a final cut off point. A time when both partners can look at a moment and say “yeah, that’s when we broke up.” Friendships naturally act differently. They slowly disintegrate without much notice. You may note not calling or texting them as much but if it doesn’t end in a huge fight, they usually just float away. But when you look back at the friendship, though it has ended, you usually don’t look back with bad memories. Think of your best friends during High School. Now take the fact that they are your Facebook friend out of the picture. Are they active in your life? Do you make phone calls checking up on their lives? Do your kids know them and associate them with you? When something big happens, are they on the top of your list of people to distinctly tell? (And not just the recipients of a FB status?)… If not, then they aren’t actively your friend. They are a past friend. Now don’t feel bad, it’s totally ok and NATURAL. This is how they are suppose to work. But with the introduction of social media and new technologies into our lives these relationship (or more accurately the ending of them) has changed. And I think for the worst.

 

I started my Facebook when was in high school. The group of people I had on there are a completely different group than I have now, with very few exceptions. But most people collect friends on FB as they go. In real life you may have stopped seeing this person but you still get their status updates and pictures of their lives on your newsfeed. This constant connection to a person that you were once close with but have naturally grown apart from can be hurtful to yourself. The friendship has not been allowed to disappear and take its proper place in your life as a lovely memory. It is instead thrown in your face day after day, however long you let that relationship go… even if you didn’t mean to or even if you did. Because now you have to officially end the relationship and create a cutting off point. You must DELETE them from your online life… and many of us don’t have the balls (Vagina? Yeah, I think my sister would prefer to use the term vagina for the strongest part of any human body) We don’t have the Vaginas do it. But, I finally did mine justice and started deleting people. However, its amazing how many people must check their friend lists on an hourly basis and I started getting friend requests back immediately. It’s the real world equivalent of finally closing your door on a person who barely knew it was open and then having them run up and start knocking and ringing your doorbell to let them in again. For a person like me (and I think most people who’ve actually done this) that is heart breaking.

 

This can be translated to Twitter and Instagram… you have to make the conscious choice to stop following the social media lives of this person and to cut them off from yours. Even cellphones have had their hand in this. We now have the lovely technology to transfer all the numbers and pictures and apps from our old phone to our new ones. Have you ever gone through your contact list and made a note of how many numbers you NEVER use anymore, of people you don’t talk to anymore? When I was young, I memorized the numbers of my best friends and if you weren’t my best friend anymore I didn’t call you as much and my brain would naturally forget your number. We are forced to watch the lives of people we once considered close. If your anything like me…its not always fun. Some people’s stories make me sad. I hate seeing where their lives are going. Or something about them made me want to get their negative influence out my life but there was no need to tell them directly… because they had mostly forgotten about me too but somehow they notice and force you to keep that negativity on your newsfeed. Or (most heart breaking) people I was terribly close with and am no longer in their actual lives and I see it moving and it makes me happy that they’re happy… but I MISS them. And if I didn’t have to see it every time I got on FB, I would think back and nostalgically miss them but now I actively miss them and its hard.

 

This effect of social media on our friendships has not had a lot of research done about it (In fact, I was told to go to grad school and study it… but at this point it will be a cold day in hell before I walk back into the education system again… OK, that’s a rant for a different day!!) But I can tell you it is annoying and sad and hard… but yet I still engage. I try to keep my friend list trim and only keep people in which I talk to currently or believe I will talk to again for one reason or another. But there are a couple that are there cause they just keep sending friend requests back or because I just don’t have the Vagina to do it… because I still love them and sometimes wish to see these people again even though I know I probably won’t. So, there it is. My BIGGEST complaint about social media. It’s annoying and I’ll probably delete it again… and then bring it back again. Its freaking addicting! But just so you know, if you’re feeling any of these ways, so is everybody else. But since none of us are getting rid of our profiles and twitter feeds, how about we all agree to stop posting political and religious rants, A different selfie everyday, Talking about how terrible your life is, or how absolutely amazing it is…Oh, and most importantly, no more TROLLING!… Or how about you just go and watch Vagina’s videos about people on Facebook and try not to be THOSE people. And thanks for listening to our rants! I look forward to your interesting and thought provoking comments ;) (PS I only care about interesting and thought provoking comments.)

 

Here is the video that my super bitchy Guest Blogger is in! Check it out!~ What a creeper…;)

 

I’m busy Dammit…

Hey guys. It seems like I haven’t written a blog or done a video in forever! I’ve had a lot of stuff going on. I have been so busy! I can’t seem to find time to do anything. I am slammed right now, and would really just like a break ya know. My plate is very full…Look at all this shit I have to do…here is a list of some things I have been doing lately:

 

EATING – yep, lots of eating. I like to eat!! Too much…Not in a good way either. Like the “you know you shouldn’t eat that but you are going to anyway aren’t you dumbass?”…kind of way…

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Watching Doctor Who re-runs, oh and dog whisperer re-runs, oh and New Girl, …plus HOUSE, and don’t forget I have been watching Sherlock re-runs, I also watched Mindy because she’s hilarious, and I watched The walking Dead, but not all of it. I hid my eyes during the super gross parts. So …technically I only watched “some” of The walking dead,…also I watched The Brady Bunch’s christmas special. Yep…it’s on netflix! .. also…FROZEN! A shit ton of FROZEN!!!

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I’ve been looking at pictures of dog’s with eyebrows on Google images. Seriously…..google dog’s with eyebrows…just do it!! Right now…

 

I’ll wait…..I’ll be right here.

 

hahahahahahaha RIGHT???..

 

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When I got tired of looking at dog’s with eyebrows, I started googling other things….like panda bears and baby giraffes. WARNING: whatever you do…DO NOT google blue waffles?? DON’T DO IT! You’re totally going to do it now aren’t you?..

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I Counted how many times I could pet buster in a minute. I kept messing up though because I would lose count and have to start again, then he got all pissy and irritated and would walk away…whatever..

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I was on pinterest for about 5 hours one day looking for some recipes and then it hit me….I can’t cook!!! Why the hell am I looking for recipes when I know damn well I am not going to read them…or even cook them. It was the pictures…..the food looks so damn good in those pictures.

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I noticed that the screen on my computer is fucking gross. What the HELL!!! Why does my computer screen look like I ate dinner on it?!

 

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I thought about the HUGE pile of laundry I need to fold…then forgot about it!

 

 
I also thought about the huge pile of dishes in my sink….then forgot about them..

 

 

 

I Decided I should color coordinate my towels with my washcloths because….why not…..So I started with the brown towels and realized how soft they were. I only laid down on them for a second, and about 2 1/2 hours later, I woke up and realized that I had to get the kids from school.

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So yeah….as you can see I have been really busy. Much too busy to do the things I should be doing! ..whatever that is….Side note: Before anyone says “you have too much time on your hands”…NO, that is not true! I just choose to use my time wisely by procrastinating. I happen to be an expert at procrastination okay. I’m just really, really good at it. If you need some ideas on procrastinating…you are welcome to use any or all of these.

 

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listening

 

KUMBAYA MOTHERFUCKERS

I did finally make another video! Here ya go…

 

Shit we do for our Kids!!!…

Having kids can suck sometimes! Not all the time…but sometimes. This does not mean I don’t love my kids okay. I do, but they can drive me absolutely 3 sides of crazy!! They can be real jerk faces sometimes. I guess we all can….but it’s worse when they came from your vagina and you let them suck on your tits so they wouldn’t die, and you do all this crap for them and they turn around and act like buttholes!! There are things that I do for my kids, that I never in my life thought I would have to do. EVER!! I never thought I would be wiping someone else’s ass other than my own. I never thought I would have to clean shit out of the crevices of my minivan because someone painted with their own shit inside of it. I never thought I would have actually been puked on straight in my mouth. I never thought I would have been pissed on in my bed, and just decide to sleep in it because I am too tired to get up. Well,…that last one I might have thought about….Vodka can make you do some crazy things!! ;)

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Anyway….as a mom of four…one of the things I can not stand and have never been able to stand is playdates!! I HATE them!! Maybe despise them is a better word. Why you ask?? I am not a social person. I do not join mommy groups and hang out in the mommy circles. When I had my first child, I did all the getting together with other moms bullcrap and realized how much I hate it. The problem is, I have these kids that always want to “get together” with their friends. Which means I have to “get together” with the parents. And I DO NOT want to get together!! I want to stay home and sit on my couch and watch re-runs.  I have no desire to sit for 3 hours with someone I barely know and try to come up with boring shit to talk about so my kid can sit in a room with another kid and fight about legos! Then when the kids start fighting, I’m dealing with this mom over here that thinks it’s all my kid’s fault. It probably is…but that’s beside the point. The point is, I didn’t want to be there anyway, and here I am looking at their stupid face, and I would rather be anywhere else.

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I know I sound like a complete asshole, but as I have said so many times before..I am an asshole. Just a really sensitive one. I am not so asshole..ish that I would tell the mother of this person I hate her face, but I really just don’t want to sit here and listen to her talk anymore.

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I would rather wipe 20 assess than have to sit for 3 hours so my kid can play/argue with some other kid, and have to deal with hanging out with people I have NO desire to hang out with. I do not want to get together with scrapbooking mommy bullshit! I did that!! I AM OVER IT!! It is not fun listening to the constant one upping of mom’s and listening to the “my kid does this and that better” and judging, judging, judging. I am  OVER IT!!

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Then you always have that one family….you know the one, that has the hoarding house and all the animals living in it, and you have NO IDEA who the parents are or what is going on, but of course THAT is the house that YOUR kid wants to go to ALL THE TIME!!! And they bug you and bug you constantly. “Can I go to joe’s house?…PLEASEEEEE, why can’t I go?” I want to say, because that is the nastiest house I have ever seen, and the parents scare the fuck out of me….but I can’t say that to my kid. Yet they won’t stop friggin bugging me about it. Instead I lie my ass off about reasons my kid can’t go to joe’s.

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Here’s the thing… why do we need to get our kids together for playdates anyway? Why do I have to deal with some shmuck I would never ever talk to because my kid wants to play with their kid. Play dates were not a thing when I was growing up. It was called go outside! Now the truth is my parents had no fucking clue where we were most of the time. We handled the playdate bullshit on our own. I went door to door of my friends houses and asked if they could play. It was either a yes or no.

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I realize this is coming off as selfish. And it is selfish I guess.  It’s more because I don’t want to have to hang out with people. Just because my kid likes some kid, doesn’t mean I am going to like the parents of that kid. Just because I have kids, doesn’t mean I have any desire to do all that mommy crap. I don’t want to go to birthday parties and baby showers. I just don’t!! Does anybody really even remember their birthday parties as a kid. I mean do they? I have had the big birthday parties for my kids, and I can tell you my oldest daughter who is now 22 can’t even remember the damn little mermaid party I spent 300 dollars on putting together for her. I went all out, and made it a big shindig, and she doesn’t even remember it. That cake looked like the fucking ocean and it had a mermaid coming out of it. How do you forget that!!

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Oh well…I guess add it to the list of “shit we do for our kids!!”

 I haven’t made a new video in a few weeks due to the “People of My Vagina!”  They just keep asking for things…like “Mom, I’m hungry,…or MOM I need to go to school!” Crap like that…..So here is an older video that I made and you can check it out if you like!! Have a great day!

Kumbaya Motherfuckers!~

Ladies and Gentlemen…A MUST READ!!..not really though

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Here is the thing…I happen to be a girl. I have a Vagina, and I have used it. Having a Vagina is not the only thing that makes me a girl. I just wanted to say Vagina…again. Anyway…when you happen to be a girl, there are things that we have to deal with that dudes don’t understand. Things that we think about and get paranoid about. Now I am not saying that dudes don’t have their own stuff that they think about or get paranoid about, but in most cases, it is just different than what a girl has going on in her head.

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Have you ever heard of that book Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars? I don’t usually like to generalize any gender or throw labels on anyone…I am just mostly speaking from experience of being a girl and having these thoughts in my head. So I came up with some things that girls think about or get paranoid about. Remember I am not speaking about every girl on the planet. I am not generalizing, I’m just sayin is all….

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We obsess about pictures taken of us. Especially if some asshole decides to put it on facebook and tag you in it. Then that picture is blasted straight up on your home page for all the world to see. We don’t want pictures of us having double chins floating around on the damn internet for the world to see. If I am getting tagged in a picture…it better not be showing my butt crack and making me look like I am 792 pounds. It’s all about the angles people. Everyone knows that you need to take the picture from up above so that your double chin doesn’t show, and you get a pretty good shot of the boobs at that angle which then covers up the gut. But then there is always that schmo that KNOWS your picture sucks and posts it anyway.

 

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Another thing us girls have to think about is that time of the month. You all know what time I am talking about. That awesome 5 to 7 days filled with having to go out in public and worry if anyone can see your pad puffing out the back of your pants and if it looks like you are wearing a diaper. Some girls use tampons which have their own set of issues. Like did it actually soak up everything or did it leak through on to your white pants. You are walking through the store only to realize that it feels a little wettish down there, so you start panicking thinking…oh shit…did I leak through. The bathroom is on the other side of the store…so now you have to walk all the way through the store with possible blood soiled all over the back of your pants and hoping no one sees. awesome….

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We also as girls worry about our weight. I know, I know….this is very cliche but it’s the truth. I often think we as girls worry about how we look in clothes more than any dude actually even notices. We worry if the new dress we bought accentuates the hips and ass area. I will stand in front of a mirror for days trying to get a glimpse of my ass to make sure it doesn’t look like I stuffed it into my outfit and it is billowing out. The reason we ask our guy if we look fat in the outfit is because we want to know! Do we look fat in it!! So answer the damn question and quit being an asshole. And make sure you answer that question with NO! …you look amazing in it!!! Just a little friendly advice guys…

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Girls often worry about how much food they might consume in front of people. Obviously if you are comfortable in front of a group of friends….you might not worry as much. But on a first date…the last thing a girl wants to do is stuff  her face full of 10 tacos. He might think she is a pig or something. The funny thing about that is…he probably would be excited that he found someone he could power eat tacos with!!

 

A girl often worries about the way she smells. Not just worrying about whether she has bad breath or not, but we worry if we stink at all. We are delicate, fragile creatures and we want to smell like flowers. That is actually bullshit!!! We are not delicate….NOR are we fragile. Most girls can fuck you up just as much as any dude can!! So stop with that …” oh, you hit like a girl” crap!! I think that saying should go more like this…” oh you hit like a dumbass!” because that would be more truthful really. There happens to be a whole lot of dumbasses hanging around on this planet.

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I decided since I came up with some things that girls get paranoid about….to be fair…I should throw in what dudes think about and what makes them paranoid! This is what I came up with:

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Penis Size!! That’s it folks….that is what dudes think about. Penis size. The thing is…most girls don’t give a flying fuck about a dudes penis size. If she says she does….it’s usually just to mess with the guy. All a girl cares about is if you know how to use the penis. You use that thing the right way, she won’t care if it’s so small she can’t even see it. You just need to know how to use it. And the truth is….you don’t even need a penis to please a woman in the right way. You just need to know how to use what you got. If you don’t know how to use it…then figure it out!!

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Dudes be talking about….”Am I bigger than your last boyfriend,  is my penis big and scary?” Listen guys….a bit of advice…..use your penis in the right way….and she will be yours forever!!!

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So there it is!! Remember don’t get all upset saying to me that all dudes aren’t like that and all girls aren’t like that!….DUH!!!

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Kumbayah Motherfuckers….

 

and look at my video…

 

Mean People Suck…. ass mostly..

Mean people suck!! It’s true…. they suck ass mostly! Here’s the thing. Everyone has the ability to be mean somtimes. We all probably have that one time… or maybe two times where you were mean to someone and you didn’t actually intend for it to come across that way but it just happened. Or maybe you did… but you felt bad about it later. I have had times that I was just flat out rude to someone because I had other stuff going on , and they just happened to be the one that ended up getting the brunt of my emotions. Not intentionally… it just happens sometimes.

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But then you have this whole other group of people that go out of their way to be mean. It’s almost like they get a thrill from actually being shitty to people.

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I want to respond to something here. I put up a video of my 13 yr. old being silly for a video vine. It was just a silly video that wasn’t even a minute long. I could not believe some of the mean shit that people said. It actually blew me away.

 

 
I always hear people say, “you put yourself out there, you have to expect it.” I not only disagree with that statement, I think it is bullshit. When people put themselves out there, why should they have to expect cruelness? WHY?? An actor becomes an actor to entertain folks. Maybe it also is the way that person let’s out their creativity. Everyone does that in a different way. So why do the people that choose to use their creativity to entertain others have to also accept the fact that people will be cruel?

 

Where does being a decent human being end? Why is it okay to be decent when you are standing in front of your mother, or your child, or your friends…. but then get on the internet and spew the worst, most awful things about someone you don’t know?

 
It has become a thing to accept the fact that the internet is full of trolls and mean ass people. I find that sad! It’s sad that it just has to be accepted. That there can’t be an idea that it could be different. That people do not need to be so cruel. That humanity matters!

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I have to say…. I follow many mom blogs and when you start to read the comments on some of these things it can really make you lose faith in humanity completely. It’s funny because if a mom gets on and calls her kid an asshole and says her kid is annoying her… then people come around and do the whole “You are a bad mom. You don’t deserve your kid” bullshit. But then I have seen a mom post something about her kid throwing a tantrum, and you get this “Beat that kid… they deserve to be beaten and thrown in a room.”

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I just don’t get it!! The point is as mom’s we could totally help each other out by being real. Which is why many moms have started blogs. It’s to do that very thing and let other moms know they are not alone, and that bad days happen and you will get through it and be okay.

 

 
So why do assholes have to come along and ruin it for everyone!!! All I can say is assholes, GO AWAY!!! Stop being so friggin mean because you feel so bad about yourself that you need to bring everyone else down with you. I DO NOT believe because someone posts a silly video of their kid on the internet that they should HAVE to deal with shitty people saying rude things. I think shitty people should just go away… and the internet should ban Fuckers from being on it!

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Think about this….if everyone just stopped putting themselves out there because of assholes, the world would be a much sadder place. There is a lot of negative crap going on around the world. I am thankful for the folks that choose to keep going in hopes to make someone laugh or brighten another person’s day. That is the reason for it! It’s called being nice! What a concept!!

 

So check this out! This is the Video Vine of my girl. I want to point out the obvious for the people that do not seem to get the obvious. IT WAS A JOKE!! Just a silly, joke.

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Here ya go….for all you internet ASSHOLES!!!  For you…

But I want to Thank all of you AWESOME, amazing folks that told those internet creepos where to stick it!! YOU guys are the friggin BEST!!!! <3 <3

;)~  ;)~    POOP!

 

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