The Secret to Health and Beauty is…

Let’s talk about health! Every where we turn people are always spewing this and that about what is healthy and what isn’t. It has actually become a trend to use the word health to judge other people.  My favorite is when completely uneducated fools that found some article on the internet (much like this one I am writing)  use it as a way to spew some ignorant foolish thing that is in no way backed by facts,  it is all just opinions. (This here is my opinion, you can take it or leave it! Your choice)
So many people like to think they know the facts about what health really is. The truth is…. the “facts” about health have changed over the years and even over centuries. It changes all the time. Where the problem comes in is that someone will read some article about gluten or dairy, and now they think they are a friggin expert about health.  What these people seem to forget is that everyone is different. Just because something worked for you… DOES NOT mean it is the answer for everyone! 
As of recently… there is this gorgeous model who was signed to a contract. Tess Munster! She is beautiful. The fact that she wears a size 22 and was signed on to a contract as a model has become controversy!!  I mean….This is controversy?? Because of the size of clothes she wears? What the hell am I missing?
I recently read an article about her, .and the top comment said something like this -“Well, how can someone of her size promote health?” This question baffles me. Mostly because not one single fucking person on this planet can tell the health of another person just by looking at them. If you think you know how healthy someone is by merely looking at them, you may be a bigger fool than you even realize. And since when is the modeling industry even worried about being healthy? Do people actually look at runway models, with bones poking out every which way, and think that they are healthy? How many models pass out from malnutrition and exhaustion each year? Whether it’s a size 2 or 22, the modeling industry isn’t there to promote health, and it never was. 
Let’s start off with the fact that no one’s health is the business of another person’s anyway. Someone left an ignorant comment that said… “My only concern is for her heart!” Oh really?? You are concerned for her heart? You…a perfect stranger! You are not her doctor…or her mother and yet you are concerned for her heart! I CALL BULLSHIT! People that spew this heightened sanctimonious attitude are the ones that are most full of bullshit! There is NO WAY any of these people commenting on a post on the internet have actual “caring” for a perfect strangers health! So STOP spewing this garbage because you make yourself look like an idiot!
It is utterly ridiculous to think you know the health of a person by the way they look.  Thin people have cancer. Fat people have cancer. Thin people have diabetes! Fat people have diabetes! Thin people do drugs! Fat people do drugs! Even babies are born with cancer. Many people walk around with debilitating pain, and many times you would never have any idea.
Can we also talk about how the idea of health changes all the time anyway. It is all literally a standard set by a society of people. It does NOT mean it is fact! I just watched this awesome video that I will share down below about the idea of beauty through the ages. This also has a lot to do with the idea of health. Somehow the lines of beauty and health have become so intertwined in our society. Remember, …beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
There was a time in our country, and the rest of the world, when being a thin person was considered the height of unhealthy. Mostly because it just meant that you had no money to buy food, and so you were unhealthy. Being plump meant being fed, which meant a better chance of surviving illness and surviving childbirth. The more plump overweight look was the top idea of premium health! Even on other parts of our world right now….there are people starving to death. These people DO NOT view thinness as a health standard! Mostly because thinness is a sign of starvation. The idea of health to them is someone who eats.
The health of an individual person is NOT something you can determine by their size, their hair color, their skin color, or the way they dress!
This guy here – Jim Fixx – is the guy who created jogging back in the 70’s. It wasn’t as popular as it is today, but it caught on and became a popular way to exercise. This wonderful man died from a heart attack when he was 52,… while he was jogging! Because I am not his doctor, ..I have no idea why this happened. But it happens.  People that exercise have heart attacks….people that are thin have heart attacks, ….people that are fat have heart attacks. 
Just remember, …if you are using the “health” card to judge other people, just know that you are completely full of shit! What you are doing is buying into the societal standard of bullshit! There is a societal standard for many things. And thinking you know the health of a person by looking at them is one of them!!  And using the health card to judge is just you wanting to judge for the sake of judging, or to make yourself feel better.
I know for me that when I am feeling good, I am happy. My health is directly related to how I am feeling.  I am one of those people that has fluctuated with weight over the years. Having four kids, I have gone up and down and all around in the weight department. I have also been someone that has bought into the society bull shit and torn myself apart because I would look in the mirror and not find anything I Like. I have berated myself for not looking a certain way, and my daughters have seen me do it! (Which makes me sick to my stomach.)  I have been bone thin, and I was no where near healthy. I was STARVING!!! Trying to fit into an idea of perfection. The funny part about it is I had people say to me…”You look so healthy!” Uh NO! If they only knew that as they were sitting there telling me how healthy I was, that I could have actually passed out from starvation at any second!!! I had gone 7 straight days without any food one time trying to get down to a certain size.  I was starving myself and I was NOT healthy. I was also not happy. I just wanted to fucking eat something.  
My wish is that Happiness would be what everyone wishes for another person. That happiness is the New standard for health and beauty!!  I can get behind this. Happiness for everyone. Fat, thin, bald, or blue…. whatever the fuck a person chooses to be! Happiness is what folks should be striving for. Not thinness, or fitting into any ideas of society. Just finding happiness! When comments say things like “As long as they have found happiness then that is all that matters!” will be a happy day for everyone!
What if the secret to beauty and health is Happiness??…
And listen okay… I like gluten! So back the fuck off!!!!
Check it out!~
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STOP Fucking Hitting your Kids!!!

If you don’t like cussing or ranting,…or offensive things….DO NOT READ THIS POST!!! I am fully aware that I am going to piss people off, and I don’t give a fuck!! We all have opinions. You have yours and I have mine. Well, here’s mine. Take it or leave it! I am tired of always trying to be PC and not offend anyone. The internet is full of assholes all spewing what their opinions are.  Well, here I am, just another asshole spewing my opinion. WARNING: This post is completely offensive and full of bad words, and full of me standing on a soap box!
STOP fucking hitting your kids!!!!! Seriously….what the hell is wrong with some people! It has become a stupid trend to shame your kid and post it on social media. If you want to go viral…either video tape yourself beating the shit out of your kid…or shame them mercilessly and post it for all to see! BOOM  you will go viral!! Am I the only one that sees something wrong here?!
And what the fuck is up with you people that are so damn proud of showing off your discipline techniques. It’s like the more you hit and shame your kid…the prouder you are of yourself.
I am so sick of seeing people say I was hit growing up and I’m okay. YOU ARE NOT OKAY!!!! ESPECIALLY if you think it is okay to continue on and do that with your kid. Can we address a few points here please!
To the people that say spanking is not hitting – Are you a fucking moron! OF COURSE it is. Spanking is methodically hitting in one spot. It is to cause PAIN! It is to hurt! Hitting and spanking ARE the same thing!
To the people that say “I was raised with spanking and I’m fine!” – NO…no you are not fine.  If you can’t even see beyond that type of way to raise a child…YOU are not fine.
To the people that say kids that aren’t spanked end up in prison – This one has got to be one of the most ignorant statements I have ever heard in my damn life!!! Why don’t you take a little visit to a prison and ask those folks how they were raised. I guarantee 100% of them will say their parents either beat the shit out of them,….or abandoned them! Zero percent will say…oh my parents talked to me. They taught me by showing kindness and love to me! Half those fuckers are in prison because they beat the shit out of a kid who couldn’t defend themselves.
To the people that say you have to spank your kid to “TEACH” them – Okay….since when does hitting teach anything other than bullying?? 
Here’s a concept for you…How about BE kind to them…so they learn how to be kind. How about BE loving to them…so they learn how to love. How about BE respectful to them….so they learn how to respect. How about show them you are a kind decent person and earn their respect that way. Instead of the bullshit fake respect you get from FEAR!!!! 
To the people that say – “The world is going to shit because nobody spanks their kid anymore!”…..let me enlighten you. People have been spanking and hitting their kids since the beginning of time! There was a time when schools could hit your kid. It has ALWAYS been a thing. And the world is SHIT!! When has it ever not been this way? So you are saying the world was better before! Better when exactly? History is filled with violence….the bible is filled with violence. There has never been a time in our world that there has been peace. NEVER!!! There is always fighting, and violence and turmoil. ALWAYS! There is always bullying and people hurting other people.  How about this….Let’s try something different and see what we get. Let’s break the chain..and try something new and improved! 
If you think you are loving your child by hitting them, maybe you don’t have a clear idea of the true meaning of love. Love is NOT painful! Love does NOT hurt! DO NOT even try to say that loving someone is hurting them. That is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard! Love is Love! You feel it inside of you. A kindness, …or a loving touch. When you say Love is painful…Then you are most definitely teaching your child that pain = love. And now here they go out into a world looking for pain, because pain to them = LOVE!!!
Oh and my favorite is…”I’m not my kids friend…I’m the parent!”…Oh…good for you. I still can’t figure out why when someone says this statement,.. the fucking thing goes viral! WHY do people LOVE to shame their kids?? I don’t get it!
I am proud of the fact that my kids see me as their friend.  My 14 year old daughter came to me before she went to anyone else when she was faced with a decision about peer pressure. She came to me and told me she trusted ME more than she trusted anyone else. We talked through her problem, and I was so thankful I was able to be a part of it with her. She respected and trusted me enough to come to me, and be honest with me. Don’t get it twisted…I am not saying that you should let a child do whatever the hell they want….or walk all over you, but to keep yourself open to them as a person they feel comfortable coming to.
Children are HUMAN BEINGS!!! They are the same as you!!! They deserve as much respect as you do. And they WILL learn it if you show them it. Children learn by watching you.  That is it. The only thing you are teaching your child when you hit them is, make sure and listen to people that hit you!! And don’t get caught!! You are either making them good liars….or making them afraid of you. If that is the end result you want…good job! 
I don’t give a FUCK if you disagree with me! I am SO fucking sick of seeing people beating or shaming their kid and being so proud of it! Hey….Let’s make better people…BY being better!!!!!
And don’t forget…You are going to be old some day,  and they will be the ones that have to take care of you. Wouldn’t it be nice if they actually liked you when that happens!
So chances are if you even made it this far, you either agree with me…or hate my guts! It doesn’t really matter to me! My only hope is that maybe one person will actually stop and think about it for a second. Maybe talk to your kid! Listen okay…if you have more patience with your dog, and would never go off hitting on your dog….then why would you do that to your very own crotch fruit!? 
I am in no way saying that kids are easy! Without a doubt, children are assholes!!…So teach them by BEING what you want them to be! 
I saw this on the website Humans Of New York and it is AMAZING!~
“Never laid a hand on her. And that was huge for me. Because it was always the first thing my dad did.”
Let’s break the chain like this amazing, wonderful dad!
You could always listen to this radio show that Louis C.K was on. He says it perfectly!!

My grade is a Big Fat F ~

Have you ever felt like you are failing at life? Like if life was grading you… your grade would be a BIG FAT F!! That is pretty much exactly how I am feeling right now. I guess the best way to describe what is going on with me would be “trudging!”…I’m merely trudging along at this point. The thing is, I feel like I am sucking at everything. I am sucking at cleaning my house, I am sucking at getting my kids where they need to be. I am sucking at being a good friend. I am really sucking at getting any kind of dinner cooked. But in my defense I have always sucked at cooking so… you know…not much change there.



It makes it even harder when you have people around you that put on the “my life is perfect , and if you just did things like me then your life could be perfect too…thing!” I feel like everyone struggles with different things in their life, ..and they are not all the same….but when you can look at another person and judge them so easily because their struggle is different than yours…it’s simply NOT COOL! I couldn’t think of the right word to use there…so I’m just going to say NOT COOL! When a person walks around with the attitude that they have it all figured out, and all is grand, it really does make other people feel bad. Because they start to wonder why can’t they figure it out. Why is it so hard for them to reach that perfection. I can not tell you how many times I have thought to myself, why can Suzy Mcperfect Mcgee from down the street get dinner made, the house cleaned AND the lawn mowed while still looking perfect in her bejeweled jeans, and I can’t even get my damn hair brushed. It sucks to feel like a failure.


My true feeling on this is that some people may find it easier to get dinner on the table and get the house cleaned up, and the lawn mowed and maybe even crochet an entire blanket all in one day…but that does not make them any better of a person than anyone else. Some people are good at that. Some people are good at fitness, and eating super healthy and running 5 miles a day. Some people are really good at art, while others are really good at math. Where the problem comes in, is when someone is really good at something…like say fitness, and they assume that because this thing comes really easy to them, it should be easy for everyone. Narcissism at it’s finest!!




People that spew their crap about how to be a better mother, or have a better body, or how to be a better wife! Give me a damn break!! I am so sick of it! I am tired of feeling like I have to live up to a certain standard because someone else decided that was the way things are supposed to be. Well guess what? That is not the way it is for me!! Just because you may be good at something, does not mean everyone else should be also. This is the main reason I do not join mommy groups! I can not take the judgement that other mothers spew out. It’s damaging and hurtful. I want nothing to do with that crap. Lately I have had a pretty good taste of  it because of all these field trips and school picnics I have had to go on, and all it has done is make me realize why I choose not to be a part of all that. I start to fall into that BS and compare myself to these other moms and I start to feel really shitty about myself. Wondering why I can’t seem to get a grip like them. Why can’t I get all the laundry done, or why am I late to every damn thing all the damn time and they are always early. I hate feeling like I am failing. Part of the reason I started this blog was because I wanted other moms to know that they aren’t alone. That they are okay EXACTLY as they are! And yet I have fallen into allowing myself to feel so judged and compared by these other moms. NO… I do not crochet and I can’t sew. I suck at cooking, …and I am a so-so house keeper. I really do try. I have 4 amazing beautiful kids and I can tell you that I love them with all that I am. So I suck a lot, …but when it comes down to it, …there is so much more to me than just a clean house. Actually I never have a clean house anymore so… But yeah! I am trudging, …I am failing right now….but it will be okay because I am still moving along and doing what I do!


So listen, …If you happen to be one of these folks that has it all figured out,…that can get up every day and run 5 miles and hand make all of your kids clothes, and grow all of your own food,…that is awesome. That is really awesome, ..but I would bet that you may have something in your life that you struggle with. So maybe give other mom’s a break!! Maybe back off a little with your “you should breastfeed, ..or you should only buy organic, …or you should do things like I do because I know everything”…crap! The truth is,…no one has it all figured out. Not one damn person. So stop it because you are making people feel bad, and even more you are creating a shit ton of  frenemy’s that in reality do not like you at all. There are NO rules!! Just ideas…   So be nice…






Why are You so Fat??!!~




What a messed up world we live in. We all know it, deep down. Some may try to ignore it, others are out there changing it, but most of us, let’s be honest, rant about it. A good rant now and again can be helpful, to those hearing it and those saying it. My rant of choice? Obesity.

I was watching an episode of the wonderful television series House, one of my family’s favorite shows. The victim, always presented within the first five minutes of the show, was a ten-year-old little girl, an overweight outcast among her fellow gym students. She had no friends, was teased a lot, and suffered from serious self loathing regardless of her mother’s love and acceptance of her. It was the set up for a serious sob story.

As the doctor’s scrambled to figure out what was wrong with her, their opinions of the girl’s weight became clear. One doctor thought the girl needed understanding and compassion, while the other thought fat-shaming would do more good. This isn’t even what bugged me. All the doctor’s in the show say their opinions, argue about them, and sometimes their opinions are harsh. What bugged me was the ending. The little ten-year-old girl ended up having a medical issue that resulted in her weight gain. With one risky surgery, she would be back to normal, and even better, she would lose weight. What a happy ending, right? The little girl got to be thin after all. The fat-shaming doctor even complimented her.

As I said earlier, I love House, it is a great show, but is this really a good ending? It means that the writer or writers of the show sat down and thought, “What would be the happiest ending for this episode?” And the answer was that the girl became thin, just like everybody else. Wait a second, how is that the happy ending? Did she learn that she was fine the way she was? No. Did she learn that outward appearance is worth nothing if you aren’t a good person? No. Did the fat-shaming doctor learn to be more understanding? Nope. At least the mother in the show said that she was always fantastic, which was nice, but lost amongst the crap.

Now that you readers have an understanding of the episode, let me dig deeper. Those that think the chubby, the overweight, and the full-on fat people are gross or messed up, or think that fat-shaming is a solution to it all, I want to present you with some history. In early America, this country enslaved African Americans, and treated them horribly. Why? Because their skin was different. Within the same country, the supposed “land of the free”, women weren’t allowed to be educated, or allowed to vote. Why? Because they didn’t have penises. Better yet, let me bring up a really tough topic: Hitler. Oh yes, I am going there. Hitler and his brainless followers dubbed the Jewish people to be ugly. Dark hair or a slightly protruding nose were seen as wrong.

I love that we all look back at those times and think, “Ha! How stupid people were! We are soooo much more sophisticated now!” But, are we? Has anything changed? Those were cases of discrimination, and for the most stupid of reasons. Discrimination is still here, still present in so many ways. We haven’t evolved, not in the least. The only thing that’s different about us is that we have a long, long list of history to look to for advice, and we are ignoring it. Now how smart do you feel?

We shouldn’t be paying so much attention on how others look, it’s just ridiculous. When I was a kid, I was very, very shy. And, when I picked a friend, it wasn’t based on size, shape, color or whatever. I chose a friend if the person was nice to me. That’s it. It shouldn’t be any different when you grow up.

Oh, and though there are fat-shamers, there is another group that needs mentioning. The Falsely Concerned. These are the people that claim they say such rude things out of concern for the person’s health or well-being. Mm, yeah, no, I call bullshit. You are not concerned about the Hollywood celebrity that gained weight after her baby. You are not concerned for the plus size model in the photo shoot. And you certainly aren’t concerned for a stranger that you meet on the street. What you are doing is trying to make yourself feel better and more important by forcing your unwanted words into our ear canals or into our retinas. By sitting on your high horse of healthy foods, you’re acting like you’ve never tried a twinkie. Be serious, you were a kid once, you have had a fudging twinkie. Your bowels and lower intestines still stink, and what you put in the toilet is still shit, though it’s hard to tell the difference between that and what’s coming out of your mouth.

I think my rant just got weird… Anyway, the main thing I am trying to convey is that fat-shaming is wrong. Shaming of any sort is wrong. Our children should want to become scientists, or veterinarians, or chefs. Our children should want a better happily ever after than being thin.



This Guest Blogger sure does know how to rant! Well,…she learned from the best!  She got it from her Momma!! 🙂 This is the daughter of Vagina….literally if you think about it….

A video~

My Guest is super Bitchy!~ GUEST BLOGGER



Who’s ready for a rant?… I thought so. Though, I don’t want to disappoint all you loyal Vagina readers out there, but this is not she. The voice you are hearing (words you are reading?) is that of Vagina’s sister. I am not going to try to come up with a clever nick name involving a body part. That conversation could get awkward… though I am fairly sure that my lovely sister would not shy away from the challenge. But if you guys are watchers of her videos (which, if you’re not, you totally should be!!! Do it now!) I am the “Creeper” found in the Shopping with Vagina’s Mom video that took place at Goodwill. Some background detail…. The Goodwill associates kept asking me if I was going to buy what I was wearing, except all of that: the sunglasses, the poncho, the hat are all mine and are currently sitting in my closet. So, go watch the video and come back and know how cool the person is you are listening (reading?) to is.


So, I told my sister quite sometime ago I would do a guest blog for her. She and I both share the same annoyances with social media. Much of what you have read or watched of her talking about Facebook spawns from conversations we seem to have on a regular basis. The rants got more frequent when she started this blog and I became a Communication major. (So, side note: The only reason the rants got more frequent for her is because she now spends much more time on social media hobnobbing with other bloggers, whom she loves. And she LOVES all her readers. But you must relate in that after so many hours on Face Book you start to get a little twitchy.) I am little more hardcore in that I REALLY hate all forms of social media yet am still an active user of it…and I hate myself. I have the FB app on my phone and I use it during times of boredom (generally during class, it’s a problem). But there is never anything interesting on there. I try to delete it, once went 6 months without it, but something always brings me back. But now to connect all this to why being a Communication Major has made my hate stronger.


The study of Communication (not CommunicationS) is the study of how people relate to other people. So, romantic relationships, work place interactions etc… One of my favorite subjects I have come across is that of friendships. I think it is because I finally knew that what I was feeling when it came to my friendships was completely normal. I am one of these people that has had a lot of other people come in and out of her life but only considers very FEW of them friends, the rest are close acquaintances. That sorta means that my friendships are some of the closest relationships I have to my heart and when they end I find my heart breaks much like someone else’s might when a romantic relationship ends. Social media has made more people experience this type of “friendship breakup”. Hold on now before you go disagreeing… let me make my case.


Years and years of studies have shown that the ending of romantic relationships is suppose to naturally end with a final cut off point. A time when both partners can look at a moment and say “yeah, that’s when we broke up.” Friendships naturally act differently. They slowly disintegrate without much notice. You may note not calling or texting them as much but if it doesn’t end in a huge fight, they usually just float away. But when you look back at the friendship, though it has ended, you usually don’t look back with bad memories. Think of your best friends during High School. Now take the fact that they are your Facebook friend out of the picture. Are they active in your life? Do you make phone calls checking up on their lives? Do your kids know them and associate them with you? When something big happens, are they on the top of your list of people to distinctly tell? (And not just the recipients of a FB status?)… If not, then they aren’t actively your friend. They are a past friend. Now don’t feel bad, it’s totally ok and NATURAL. This is how they are suppose to work. But with the introduction of social media and new technologies into our lives these relationship (or more accurately the ending of them) has changed. And I think for the worst.


I started my Facebook when was in high school. The group of people I had on there are a completely different group than I have now, with very few exceptions. But most people collect friends on FB as they go. In real life you may have stopped seeing this person but you still get their status updates and pictures of their lives on your newsfeed. This constant connection to a person that you were once close with but have naturally grown apart from can be hurtful to yourself. The friendship has not been allowed to disappear and take its proper place in your life as a lovely memory. It is instead thrown in your face day after day, however long you let that relationship go… even if you didn’t mean to or even if you did. Because now you have to officially end the relationship and create a cutting off point. You must DELETE them from your online life… and many of us don’t have the balls (Vagina? Yeah, I think my sister would prefer to use the term vagina for the strongest part of any human body) We don’t have the Vaginas do it. But, I finally did mine justice and started deleting people. However, its amazing how many people must check their friend lists on an hourly basis and I started getting friend requests back immediately. It’s the real world equivalent of finally closing your door on a person who barely knew it was open and then having them run up and start knocking and ringing your doorbell to let them in again. For a person like me (and I think most people who’ve actually done this) that is heart breaking.


This can be translated to Twitter and Instagram… you have to make the conscious choice to stop following the social media lives of this person and to cut them off from yours. Even cellphones have had their hand in this. We now have the lovely technology to transfer all the numbers and pictures and apps from our old phone to our new ones. Have you ever gone through your contact list and made a note of how many numbers you NEVER use anymore, of people you don’t talk to anymore? When I was young, I memorized the numbers of my best friends and if you weren’t my best friend anymore I didn’t call you as much and my brain would naturally forget your number. We are forced to watch the lives of people we once considered close. If your anything like me…its not always fun. Some people’s stories make me sad. I hate seeing where their lives are going. Or something about them made me want to get their negative influence out my life but there was no need to tell them directly… because they had mostly forgotten about me too but somehow they notice and force you to keep that negativity on your newsfeed. Or (most heart breaking) people I was terribly close with and am no longer in their actual lives and I see it moving and it makes me happy that they’re happy… but I MISS them. And if I didn’t have to see it every time I got on FB, I would think back and nostalgically miss them but now I actively miss them and its hard.


This effect of social media on our friendships has not had a lot of research done about it (In fact, I was told to go to grad school and study it… but at this point it will be a cold day in hell before I walk back into the education system again… OK, that’s a rant for a different day!!) But I can tell you it is annoying and sad and hard… but yet I still engage. I try to keep my friend list trim and only keep people in which I talk to currently or believe I will talk to again for one reason or another. But there are a couple that are there cause they just keep sending friend requests back or because I just don’t have the Vagina to do it… because I still love them and sometimes wish to see these people again even though I know I probably won’t. So, there it is. My BIGGEST complaint about social media. It’s annoying and I’ll probably delete it again… and then bring it back again. Its freaking addicting! But just so you know, if you’re feeling any of these ways, so is everybody else. But since none of us are getting rid of our profiles and twitter feeds, how about we all agree to stop posting political and religious rants, A different selfie everyday, Talking about how terrible your life is, or how absolutely amazing it is…Oh, and most importantly, no more TROLLING!… Or how about you just go and watch Vagina’s videos about people on Facebook and try not to be THOSE people. And thanks for listening to our rants! I look forward to your interesting and thought provoking comments 😉 (PS I only care about interesting and thought provoking comments.)


Here is the video that my super bitchy Guest Blogger is in! Check it out!~ What a creeper…;)


Facebook Fuckery… part II



This is the second part of the Facebook fuckery post. It is SUPER bitchy. Maybe even more bitchy than the last one. I am going to write an entire post about braggy moms. Maybe this is more of a vent. To get this off my chest. Nothing in this world is more annoying than a braggy mom. Seriously people…..stop! JUST STOP with the bragging all the time. Especially on facebook because really?????…. Here is the thing. I am a mom. I have 4 of those succubus’s that clawed straight through my vagina to make their way into this world. Listen…I love them. I even think they are cute half the time….when they are not sucking the life straight out of me. But these mom’s with the bragging all the time. I can’t even!!! I just can’t.


Every time I get on facebook and  see a post like this…” Bobby got straight A’s on his report card…again, and made it on the honor roll for the 10th time this year…again!” You know what I do when I see that….the same thing everyone does when they see that. ROLL MY EYES as far back as they can go. Trust me when I tell you this…..everyone reading it is rolling their eyes. Unless of course it is their grandma. Even then, she might be rolling her eyes…you just never know. My mom would probably roll her eyes. 😉




Anyway…This thing about trying to make people think YOUR kid is somehow better than everyone else’s is BALONEY people. No one is going to think that YOUR kid is better than their own kid. It is just NOT going to happen. I believe in being proud of your kids. My kids have done some amazing things that make me unbelievably proud. But for me to get on facebook and make some lame post about how perfect they are is an obvious BRAG! There is a big difference between being proud and bragging like your kid is the best thing ever. The funny part about it is that when a person is going on about all of their kids accomplishments, no one is buying it even for a second. Talent shoes on it’s own. If someone is talented…people will see it. I do not need to tell everyone how talented and smart my kid is because if my kid does something really cool…people will see it on their own. I guarantee Johnny Depp’s mom does not need to walk around telling people how talented her son is. I feel like when people go on and on about the accomplishments of their kids…..they either need validation of some kind….or they are lacking confidence in the sitation because why do they need other people to say….” Oh…your kid is so awesome.” I don’t know….the thing is…why can’t you just be real. Nothing wrong with being proud…but be friggin real! No kid is perfect. You make people feel shitty when all you do is go on like your life is so fucking perfect, and YOU have all the answers. It’s just not true!



Being happy is a wonderful thing. I am very happy. But it would be false information for me to display that my life is perfect, and I am consistantly happy every second of every day. I don’t even think that is what this life is suppose to be about. I believe it is about learning and growing and more than anything…evolving! Connecting with each other on a real life level. When you learn and grow….you evolve. It’s when you stay so damn stuck in a thought process, that you truly believe you have nothing more to learn, and you literally just stop evolving as a person. You reject anything new. That is called becoming stagnate and it is not healthy for anybody.



So my point to this whole thing is….I don’t give a flying fuck if your kid is so smart that he or she passed whatever with flying colors, and is so damn talented that they can do amazing things with their toes. Awesome!! Cool! But seriously though…..YOU be proud of them. you tell THEM that they are awesome. No one else really needs to know. The people that matter will see it anyway. All the other people that you brag too are just going to get annoyed and think you are an asshole!! Sorry….but it’s true….


Love your kids….be proud of your kids accomplishments…..Tell THEM that you are proud! Show THEM that they are awesome. But if you want to connect with other mom’s….stop trying to be the one -upper and make it like you are a better mom. We are all just doing the best we can. One way is not the ONLY way!!! It’s awesome if you only feed your kids organic food, and you breast fed your kid until they were 12 ( sarcasm people) and you would never allow your kids to use products that contain red dye number 2!! Cool!! Wonderful!! That makes you awesome. But you are no more awesome than the mom who just barely got macaroni and cheese made for dinner because she didn’t have time to do anything else. We are all doing the best we can. I SUCK at cooking!! Everyone knows this. I’m not good with a fry pan. I mean…piss me off and I can throw it at you….but as far as making food in it, this is not my strong point. SO WHAT!!! I am amazing at snuggling with my kids even if I can’t make them tofu casserole.



So there it is!! Part 2 of the super bitchy facebook series! My kids have been so sick all week. 2 of them have bronchitis, and the other 2 have this awful flu with puking and diarrhea. So it’s been fun around my house. But because of all the sickness I wasn’t able to make a new video for you guys. I went back through some old videos and after watching them I felt weird. You know…because I haven’t seen them in a while, and you forget how really stupid you are. And by saying “you”…I mean “ME”. So…yeah…I forgot how really stupid I am! Anyway…here is an older video that I made….


Facebook Fuckery….part I




I have written a lot about Facebook. I have also done a lot of Facebook parody videos. I have this love/hate thing going on with Facebook. I have said this before…it is very much like the love/hate thing I have going on with Walmart. I love being able to go to Walmart and buy a bra and not even 5 feet away be able to buy some Ben & Jerry’s chubby hubby. Then there is also that thing of the myriad of butt cracks and deodorant-less people that you have to wade through. I suppose with all things comes the good and bad right?!



The other day my lil sis and I were chatting and she was telling me how someone came to her facebook page and left a comment saying something like ” I was stalking your page, and saw that you no longer work at the coffee shop.” I wonder…is it “stalking” if you are actually friends on facebook? If someone actually agreed to have you on their friends list, aren’t you allowed to go to their page and look at their shit? I thought that was the point of being facebook “friends.” I mean…what else is there to do when you are a facebook friend. It’s not like you can meet for lunch on facebook and chat about breadsticks. To be friends on facebook means you get to see all the shit that the person posts. That is the extent of your facebook relationship! That’s it!! No matter how annoying what they post is.




Don’t get all pissy about what I just said. I have openly admitted to being a facebook whore. I totally am. Aren’t we all though? Have you actually stopped to think about why you are even on facebook? Why you feel the need to engage in the whole thing? I am not going to lie…political and religious posts annoy the friggin crap out of me. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, but so do I. So does every damn person that is going to comment on your post about politics or religion. Even the ones you don’t like or agree with. When does YOUR opinion become the only “real” one? Plus…if you didn’t want people to have an opinion about your post…why did you choose a social network site to post it? “SOCIAL” being the important word here! And please with the religious bible versus. Listen okay…..every damn person that lives in this country knows about the bible. EVERYONE!!! If you are posting bible versus because you think it is inspirational to someone, then explain this to me,.. because the ONLY people that you are inspiring, are the people that already believe that way. You might get 10 likes on that post….ALL of them coming from your fellow church people that already know exactly what the bible says. I guarantee….NOBODY is going to read a verse from the bible posted on facebook and think to themselves….Oh…now I want to attend church because I just read a bible verse. I already know a huge group of people are pissed off at me for saying that, but guess what….it’s MY opinion. Same as you…I have a right to it!




Another group of seriously annoying facebook posts are the constant animal/children abuse posts. I have literally blocked certain people from my facebook feed because I couldn’t take the constant swarm of horrible awful pictures of abused animals and children. WHY are you people posting these?? This is doing NOTHING to help animal and child abuse! NOTHING!!! Posting horrific awful pictures that you can never unsee again is doing nothing more than making sure people have that horrible image in their head all day. So bascially making sure you screw up their day. Have you ever had a song stuck in your head all day? Well…it’s the same damn thing when you see a picture of someone skinning a dog while it’s alive! FRIGGIN STOP with those picture already. If you want to join in the animal/child abuse problem in the world…then activaly get yourself involved. THAT is when change occurs. Not sitting on facebook and posting a bunch of horrible pictures than going off to work and going on with your day. If you think you are actually bringing attention to the subject….you are wrong. If people do not already know about child/ animal abuse then they are either amish or have been raised by wolves. EVERYONE knows this is happening in the world. If you are passionate about it….then make it your passion to get involved on these issues. It’s like that Sarah Mclachlan commercial that EVERYONE has seen. It just makes you sad! My wish is that we lived in a world that these things didn’t happen.



As far as the folks that get on facebook and let you know that they are deleting people off their facebook, so you better let them know right now if you want to stay. Can I just ask someone to explain this madness to me, because I don’t get it. If you want to delete people off your facebook, why feel the need to tell everyone you are doing it? I really don’t get it. It seems to me that you must be feeling sad and needing some attention, and you want folks to say “please don’t delete me.” I get it….everyone wants to feel loved. I get super butt hurt when people don’t like my shit on facebook. It’s true….I’m that person! I’m funny dammitt!!! Actually I’m not….most people just don’t understand my sense of humor. They don’t get me ya know. Anyway….I do not delete people off of facebook. If they don’t want to be on my facebook, they can delete themselves.  I am not taking time to delete people. But if I did…I certainly am not going to announce it to everyone. I have officially only deleted a person once, and I am not going to get into the reasons why. I am not going to lie, I have blocked a few from my status feed, but that is only because I really can not take the constant flow of abuse pictures that were being posted, and a few other things. Yes…I am purposely being vague. 🙂


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Anyway…..I want to finish up this insanely long blog post with…can’t we all just get along!!! Isn’t that what facebook is about? Socializing. We live in a technologically inclined time. Everything we do involves technology of some sort….except pooping. That is still done the old fashioned way.


Also….I have NO room to talk. I post the weirdest shit on Facebook! So here is my public apology to all the folks that have to endure my weird ass posts. Like this one…..

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