Hey there my sweet little Super stars!! I love it when you come for a visit. You are my favorite friends. So I was thinking since all of my amazing readers are the coolest people ON this floating rock that is orbiting around the sun, that I would like to take you beautiful people out to lunch. I am always up for eating…and I like hanging out with you guys, so hey…let’s do this. What do you say friends?? Okay….I’m picking the place. What happens next is an absolutely TRUE story. This happened! And since I can’t have lunch with each and every one of my amazing readers for real, I figured this would be just as good as going to lunch together. This is a walk through the experience that you would have for sure if we were to have lunch together. First I apologize for embarrassing you, but remember it’s really more embarrassing being me in this situation so…hey, your just along for the ride! 🙂 and I’m really only here for your entertainment purposes anyway!
Today there was the most delicious bowl of salsa that was in front of me, with these blue chips that were HUGE! I mean these things were like the size of a gigantic tortilla.
Anyone that knows me also knows that when it comes to chips and salsa, it is really impossible for me to pass it up….among other things…( ie: Chocolate). Anyway, so it looks yummy and I decide to go for it. I get a Big blue chip and basically use the chip as a shovel and fill it up with the salsa. As I am getting ready to take a bite, ALL the salsa drops straight on my shirt. Of course mostly landing in the boob area!! * SIGH! So I “Clean” it off the best that I can with the tools available to me. That would be a napkin. Just imagine the badge of salsa I am wearing at this point. What you imagined I have no doubt is exactly how I looked. Of course I can’t resist and decide I am going in again. I grab another Big blue chip, fill her up, and……yep…….you guessed it. The thing doesn’t reach my mouth but instead drops all over my shirt. AGAIN!! Wow, really,…really salsa??..Why you gotta do me like that??.. ALL I am thinking at this point is “Why you gotta do me like this salsa…I thought we were friends..” -_-
So, being the determined person that I am, and due to the fact that I have not yet tasted this salsa even a little bit, I decide to go in for number 3. I am NO QUITTER!…and I really want this salsa….probably even more now. You know that whole…if you can’t have something, you want it more thing. Plus it’s almost like I have something to prove to this salsa now. It doesn’t own me, or control me. The salsa might think it does…but it is NOT the boss of me and can NOT tell me how to live my life!! – I may have gotten off subject there – Yeah….well, anyway I also figure 3rd times a charm right?!? So here I go. I get the Big blue chip, I fill it up, and I am being extra careful this time. I mean at this point, what do I have to lose. I’ve already compromised my dignity, and let’s not even bring up my pride at this point. Slowly I bring the chip to my mouth and it actually makes it in, but because the chip is the size of my head, most of the salsa runs down the side of my mouth and chin. 🙂 Not only do I now look like I just battled in Gladiator, but also like I have no idea how to eat like a human!
I have salsa all over my face like war paint, and it’s in my hair too. BRAVO!!! Well…I can say now that the salsa was good. It looks like I tried to feed it to my shirt, boobs, and half of my crotch, but it was still good. The Moral of the story….I may not be as cool as I think!…..and if you eat salsa, for the love of all that is good and holy, use a decent size chip to eat it with! I Digress….Chips and Salsa Win!!