Who are YOU?? And what do YOU stand for??

You know what, ..unless you have personally experienced racism, .you do not get to say it doesn’t exist! Unless you have personally experienced sexism, you do not get to say it doesn’t exist! Unless you have personally experienced being raped and bullied you do not get to say it didn’t happen!
It’s the same thing as if you tell someone that they are being an asshole and they say “No I’m not!” well it’s really not up to them is it?!
America was built on the backs of slaves! THEY built this country. This is a factual part of American history! We all learn about this in school. It happened!! These people fought for the right just to be seen as human. And now all these years later the residual effect of what this country practiced early on is still a very real part of our country today. So many voices are screaming and yelling to be heard! If an entire culture of people say that racism exists…than it does!! That’s it!!
You are not allowed to take anyone’s own personal experience away from them by spewing your uneducated opinion. And it is an uneducated opinion if you personally have not walked that road or experienced that experience for yourself. If someone tells you that they were bullied, who are you to say it didn’t happen or it wasn’t real?? 
Every single one of us are experiencing this life in a different way. The thing is, people get so wrapped up in their own heads and their own experiences that they forget everyone else is having their very own experience as well, which has NOTHING to do with you. 
It’s like everyone holds on to their beliefs with all their might! I like to call them “Believies!” We all have our believies and we go around telling everyone all about our believies and what we think and what is “real” to us. The thing is, none of your believies are real to anyone else but YOU!!! 
All of the believies that each of us have are no more than the sum of our experiences. That is the reason we all have such very different ideas about the way things are or should be. It’s all just a huge collection of thoughts that are directly stemmed from your experience on this planet.
The problem is when a person gets so wrapped up and stuck in their own head, they do not realize that outside of themselves are people with a different set of eyes and a different set of thoughts. 
Even folks that grow up in the very same house with the very same parents will have completely  different ideas about how things were. 
Right now is a hard time in our country. There is rioting and people screaming to be heard! They want to be heard! WE ALL Want to be heard. 
When people are screaming that injustice has occurred, who has the right to deny it?? 
If your child came to you and told you that someone made them feel uncomfortable and said really bad things to them, would you tell them they were wrong, or that it wasn’t true? Would you tell them it didn’t happen?
When do we stop denying and start listening to the voices that are screaming??  The voices that are hurting and crying for someone to hear them. If it was someone you love screaming and begging to be heard…would YOU listen??
My true believie above all else is that the only way TO PEACE is THROUGH PEACE!! …for all of us…
THIS HERE was written by one of my favorite people ever. She always seems to put into words exactly what is in my heart! 

Get off the couch LAZY A$$!!

As of recently, I have been on a quest to “try” to be healthier. I do that sometimes. Every so often I will go through a health kick sort of deal, and buy veggies at the store, and drink green juice, and really try to keep an actual schedule with exercise and stick to it. I’ve never really been good with structure. I’m just not built that way. My true inner guide is one that is always late to everything, loves junk food, and can watch hours upon hours of Netflix! No matter how much healthy food I eat, and how many hours of exercise I put in at the gym, I have never grown a love for that type of thing. It’s just not who I am! I have to force myself to exercise, and force myself to eat broccoli. Every time I hear people saying things like, “Once you start being healthy all the time you never crave the bad stuff! It’s a lifestyle change!”  I call Bullshit!!
Maybe that works for some folks, but not everybody. Eating right and exercising is great, but I will never love it! And that’s okay. My favorite motto ever is “You do you!” So if you LOVE eating lettuce and doing bicep curls…  you do it!!! And if you love Cheetos, and Netflix marathons rather than color rad marathons… you do it! You do you!!
Which brings me to this. Even though I am not a lover of exercise, I still try to incorporate it in my life. I have done so many different types of exercise. I have done Zumba, Taebo, Turbofire, T25, cardio kickboxing, barre fitness, abs of steel, buns of steel, worked out on an elliptical, punching bag, bike riding, you name it… I’ve done it! I have even owned my very own thigh master, and I used the shit out of that thing!  It never actually gave me thighs of steel though.  I may have been using it wrong. I would plop down in front of the t.v and watch Beverly Hills 90210 back when Dylan (the hottie bad boy) and Brenda (the narcissistic crazy girl) were dating. The problem was I would end up eating a bag of chips while I was squeezing my thighs. I figured one was canceling out the other! (let me live with my lie okay!)
As of recently, the new exercise gig I am trying out is jogging. If you follow My Facebook Page, I have talked about this before. On my very first jog ever, I lost my lungs. When I started, they were attached, and five minutes in… my lungs detached from the designated place they are supposed to be, and dropped somewhere into my liver or pancreas. I’m still not sure! I have not been able to retrieve them as of yet! Still working on that! Anyway… In my quest to start a jogging regime, I have come across a few things along my journey that I can’t figure out. I thought I would share them with you.
1) Why is there always a shoe in the ditch? It’s always ONE shoe just laying on the side of the road, or in the ditch. Now first of all, I am going to obviously assume that the person wearing that shoe was snatched up, and is now being held captive in some gross basement somewhere being forced to eat cow brains while being brainwashed about how aliens will be coming back to take the Earth from us all! But also… if you are jogging, and somehow one of your shoes falls off Cinderella style, how are you not feeling this? How is a person just walking around without one shoe and doesn’t even notice. Do they get home, and their partner says “Hey Bob… what happened to your shoe?” and bob says “Oh wow… I had no idea it was gone!! I was so involved in my awesome run, that I didn’t even notice all the gravel and glass shards I was running over!.” I don’t get it! 
2) Twice I have come across underwear balled up on the side of the road covered in doodie! WHAT IS UP PEOPLE??!! Who is doodieing themselves and just throwing the unders out the window? I have actually crossed the road because I don’t even want to jog next to balled up doodie underwear! If you would have just stopped and pulled down your underwear, squatted and doodied like a normal person, there would be no need to take off your underwear and throw it on the side of the road!
3) The dead animal carcasses. I realize nature is nature and there is nothing we can do about that! But when you are running along, you have your headphones on and are lost in a song, and then the smell hits your nostrils like a wrecking ball (see what I did there) and it gets closer and closer until you realized it’s a smooshed up skunk that birds have been munching on all day! Who knows how long it’s been cooking in the sun. And now you have to run by that awful thing! Without a gas mask!! ugh…
4) The staring folk! Now I know what you are going to say. Ignore all the people that stare, who really cares what they think! I agree with that. But sometimes it gets kind of annoying. Here you are trying to get your jog on and not doing a very good job of it, and car after car is racing by you. And then you have the car filled with 10 teenagers, and you know they shouldn’t even be all fitting in that car, and yet there they are. They go as slow as possible by you and they are all staring out the window and making faces because they think they are so friggin hilarious.  “Yes teenagers… that is my ass bouncing all over the place… what of it??? Mark my words! You will be me one day!”
5) Along with the staring judgmental people, comes the staring judgemental animals! If you happen to live in the city, you will probably get some crazy dogs freaking out as you have to jog by their fence. You also have to deal with those nasty tree squirrels that are sitting in the tree just waiting to pounce on you as you jog by. I live in the country and so I get to jog by all the judgemental cows and bison! Yep… you read that right!! The judgemental cows!! I can’t tell you how many times I have had to jog past judgemental cows. The worst part is, they are the ones that smell like ass… and yet they are judging ME??!! 
6) And let’s not forget the bug buffet that you end up having after a nice jog! If you start to sweat, you get the added bonus of those nasty little fuckers sticking to you. The most annoying of all are those little gnat things that continue to fly right around your face holes. Their favorite place to be is in your eyeballs, up your nose, and in your mouth!!! WHY???? You try to run faster thinking you can outrun those assholes, but you can’t!! NO matter how fast you go, that swarm of gnats is right there with you!! It’s like they have become part of your aura now!!  You also have the random cricket that you see up ahead. You try to avoid it, and instead of jumping away from you, that fucker jumps RIGHT AT YOU!!!! Which of course causes you to do the embarrassing “Is there a bug on me?” dance in public… Awesome…
This is how I usually look after a nice jog!
Honestly, I am not against Marathons!  I Just prefer the kind that inolve popcorn and Netflix!

YOU are Dead to Me… AGAIN..

Have you ever been standing in line somewhere, and you have been waiting already for a damn long time, and out of nowhere the person in front of you notices a friend of theirs that they haven’t seen in a while. The friend comes over and they start gabbing and laughing and going on and on, and you are standing there just wanting this line to move up so you can get on with your life. The line starts moving but because these two are talking about old times, they do not notice  the moving line and keep laughing and jabbering on. There is a big space between the person in front of you and the person in front of them. Now mind you, you have been waiting for what feels like three years at this point! Now these two people are sitting here, having a reunion and NOT moving up!! You momentarily think about just jumping right in front of them to keep the line moving. You then try all the usual techniques of trying to get a point across to someone without actually saying anything. Like staring really hard at the open spot. Looking at them, and then at the spot, and then at them again, and then the spot!! You think “Maybe if I make some noises, they will realize that I’m here waiting.” So, you proceed to make a series of coughs and sighs and clearing throat noises, maybe some moose calls or some mating geese noises, just to make sure they hear you. Finally they very slowly start to move up. At this point you already know all about how this lady has a two year old and got fired from her job, and her asshole husband never helps around the house.  You finally make it almost to the destination of the customer service window that you have been waiting for… and this bitch in front of you asks if her friend can jump in line since she is already there!!!! WHAT??!!!  Those people…. they are DEAD TO ME!!! 
A while back I wrote a post RIGHT HERE about all the people and things that are dead to me! This is how I deal with the bullshit that drives me insane! I just kill it with my mind. It works too!!  Anything that is absolutely making you crazy… kill it!! I mean, don’t really kill it! But kill it, bury it in your backyard, and be done with it! My backyard at this point is nothing more than a big ass grave full of dead shit. For instance…
Walking into a public restroom, and there is a group of girls in there. One of them is clearly upset about something and the others are consoling her. As I walk in, they look at ME like I’m the asshole for intruding! Well, excuse me that I have to pee!! I’m so sorry to barge in on your love fest, but my bladder is going to explode and this does happen to be the place that is designated for leaving your piss. I could piss in the hallway… but I don’t want to. So you know what….. you’re all DEAD TO ME!!!  And now that you are all dead to me, … I can pee in peace! 
Anyone who starts a sentence with “I’m not trying to be mean BUT”, or “Oh my gosh, you got a haircut?? but it was SO PRETTY before”, …or “When did you start wearing purple. I am just not used to seeing you wear colorful clothing. It’s weird”… or “You have really gotten gray since the last time I saw you…are you not using Clairol anymore?”. DEAD TO ME!!!
Whoever it is that keeps taking showers in the bathrooms at Walmart, and leaving the sinks so damn wet that no matter how hard you try to keep from getting your shirt wet, you still end up looking like you just walked out of a wet t-shirt contest…. you are DEAD TO ME!!
The following types of toilet paper:  Thin, public school toilet paper, because it basically means I’ll be wiping with my bare hand. Toilet paper that shreds as you wipe, because you are suppose to be cleaning my ass, not decorating it with bits of TP confetti. Toilet paper that breaks off every square as you try to get it off the roll because it means that you are in the bathroom ten years too long, causing your friend to look at you funny when you finally return to them.   Toilet paper, you are DEAD TO ME!! I will continue to use you, because I have to, …but you are still DEAD TO ME!! And seriously toilet paper, you have ONE job… Can you please just do your damn job!! Dead to me…
My television remote is Dead to me!! It’s actually been dead for a while now, and I keep forgetting to buy the right kind of batteries at the store. Dammit..
I have a dishwasher. Does it wash the dishes??.. Not really! The silverware always ends up coming out with crap stuck to it, and the glasses are all spotted up with water spots. And if anyone eats nachos or oatmeal, ..that shit is stuck on the dishes for DAYS!! So I will generally scrub the dishes before I even put them in the dishwasher….which makes no sense because it’s a DISH WASHER!! Anyway…., have you ever been standing there scrubbing the grime off of your dishes, and then you accidentally drop your rag or scrubber in the awful, disgusting, water that has food floating in it, and who knows what else, and then the water splashes up and gets you in the mouth, on the face, and down your shirt?!  All of it…the water, ..the scrubber and most definitely the dishwasher,…. DEAD TO ME!!! In my backyard….DEAD!!
98.2 % of all Customer Service Reps are dead to me!! Now don’t get your panties in a bunch okay. The other day I posted on Facebook about how customer service reps are assholes, and I wondered if it is an actual job requirement. I had someone cuss me out hardcore over that. So I’m guessing they were a customer service rep! Anyway, …in my vast expereince of dealing with customer service reps….I have found that 98.2 % are mother fucking jerk face assholes! It’s the truth, so don’t get mad at me for pointing it out. And if you don’t like it because you are a customer service rep, ..then don’t be a mother fucking jerk face asshole, and nobody will think that about you! I too am an asshole, …but more of the sensitive kind. I’m a sensitive asshole! Shut up…they exist!! Anyway….I have killed off about 98.2% of customer service reps and buried them in my backyard!! DEAD TO ME!!! 
This toy that Buster is trying to kill me with is DEAD TO ME!! And really truly in a grave!! That fucker is in the bottom of the trash bin at this very moment! shh…don’t tell the kids! (Look at Buster just sitting there waiting for me to step on that awful torture toy!! I know what you are up to Buster… I am on to you)
So there you have it! A revised version of You Are Dead To Me! I have never watched the show How to get away with Murder, but I have no doubt Viola Davis is amazing in it. And she is probably way more classy, and a much better consultant on murder than I ever could be, but if you are in a pinch, …and really need to “take care of something or someone”.. then you are welcome to use my technique, and kill off whatever or whoever you need to. But please use your own backyard to bury them because mine is getting really filled up! I do still have room for any Internet trolls that are going to say some rude shit. So if you plan on coming on here and saying something rude, ..just know that you are Dead To Me, ..and buried in my backyard fertilizing the flowers!


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