If you cut me off just to get in front of me in the 10 items or less line, but you actually have 20 items… You are dead to me.
If you knock on my door and repeatedly ring my doorbell when my kid is taking a nap… or I am taking a nap… You are dead to me.
If you tell me “You have too much time on your hands” because I have a hobby… Dead to me.
If you take my parking spot at the school, and you know damn well I park in the same spot every day… You are dead to me.
If you show up at my house without calling first, then you are dead to me… Unless of course you brought wine, then you have redeemed yourself and can live…
Outhouses are DEAD to me. Seriously, those things should be dead to everyone. There is no way to wash your hands in those nasty wasty things!! I’d rather shit on a tree stump. It would be cleaner…
To the person that bought my 7yr. old a brand new pointy-toed mini barbie because the dog chewed off the feet… That barbie was dead to me…. and now you are…
The driver side door on my suburban is dead to me! Absolutely DEAD!! The fucking thing won’t shut right…
Every Lego ever made – DEAD!!!
Every container of Play dough, kid’s Sand art, tie dye kit, beading jewelry necklace kit, crayola marker making kit, perler beads bag zebra striped 1000 count, crayola melt n mold factory, 50 assorted plastic stamp and paint set – ALL DEAD TO ME! I don’t have the time or patience for that shit! How about you buy us a birthday gift that is already made, cheap ass!
AHH…The good old days when kids found their own fun…
The loom rubber band kit with the 1000 band re-fill variety pack – DEAD!!! And now my vacuum is dead because it has sucked up a shit ton of tiny rubber bands…
The make-up kit that my mom wants to buy my kid for Christmas will probably turn my white carpet into an array of rainbow colors. It’s already dead to me… and it’s not even here yet…
If I have something in the oven, and it burns… then it is dead to me. I wanted pizza delivered anyway….
The 10 degrees below zero weather we are having is dead to me, though it may kill me first…
The squat-kick burn your ass off, and kill your thighs move in Taebo is dead to me. I am certain that the road to hell is paved with Billy Blanks squat-kick moves. Thanks Satan.
The hand controllers on my kid’s game systems are dead to me. I am positive they are covered in poop and boogers, and no amount of clorox wipes is making me feel better about it.
The stretch mark on my stomach that made me get excited because I thought it was an ab… only to realize it is a stretch mark is now dead to me…. That was really rude!
When the power goes out and screws up everything, and nothing in the house works, and I can’t even flush the toilet… then the power company is dead to me… Literally… I mean the power is DEAD!!
If you continue to let your dog shit in my yard, then you are dead to me… as is your dog… and their shit!! And I know it’s their shit because that cow pie did not come out of my chihuahua!
The hole I have in my sock right now as I am writing this is dead to me. The fucking thing is annoying me because I’m pretty sure my big toe is supposed to be IN MY SOCK! Fuck you hole!!! um, that didn’t sound right…
The mouse that was under my kitchen sink is now officially DEAD! But the memories still live in my mind…
I made a video!! Just for you!! ~ 🙂  Have A BEAUTIFUL Thanksgiving everyone!~