The Internet does it again!! We all know the Internet can be a scary place sometimes. It can also be a magical place full of puppies, pandas, and unicorn poop!
The truth is… it is part of our lives now. The Internet is here, and it is a part of how we do many of the things we do.
If you have a medical question… There is WebMD! But be careful because if you type in your symptoms of having a hurt toe… it will probably tell you that you have cancer and you need your leg amputated!
The days of Encyclopedias are gone! If you need information or to look up facts… You have Google! And everybody knows that Google knows everything!! Just Google it… and Google will tell you….
If you are feeling sad you can watch hours and hours of puppy videos or cat videos.
You can find bloggers, and vloggers, and read all kinds of articles and watch all kinds of videos.
And if you feel like socializing with folks… you have Facebook, and Twitter, and Instagram!
The fact is… this is how we interact now. We are plugged in. Kind of like the Matrix! A little foreshadowing going on there… ;)
I like to hang out on Facebook. I mean… let’s face it… It’s Zuckerberg’s world and we are all just living in it!! Amiiright??!!
I am highly addicted to a Facebook page called Tasty! This place is almost as addicting as Netflix. They post videos of recipes being cooked and all you see are the hands making the food, and it is mesmerizing. Like I could literally sit for hours and watch video after video. It is highly addicting. They make it all look so easy. And you don’t even have to press play on these videos. Which let’s face it, who the hell wants to take time to press play. Being able to just scroll and it starts playing magically is amazing. Nobody has time to be pressing play on shit.
But then… you have the comment section. I know, I know… NEVER read the comments! You might think to yourself “Oh this is a recipe on how to make some cheesy enchilada dish… how bad can the comments be?”
So I watched this recipe here about Moroccan chicken. And I want to break down for you how a simple recipe for Moroccan chicken can turn into an all out drunken brawl. Thanks Internet!!
It all starts out pretty innocent enough. Everyone has an opinion, right? So they must come and write it in the comments so all the people can see how they feel about Moroccan chicken:
These are real comments: (I wrote them exactly as they are written in the comment section, So don’t blame me for the misspells…😉 )
** – My thoughts…
Person 1 Comment – “Morrocan don’t eat harissa… Spread some cumin and let it cook with some chickpeas doesn’t mean it’s a moroccan like, and it goes the same way as well for the others meals… This is just a One-Pan Chicken to me”
**(Innocent enough I guess. This guy is not impressed with one of the spices so he must tell all the people! What even is Harissa though?? I have no idea)…
Person 2 Comment – “We eat it –‘”
**(okay… so apparently there is a person that eats it, and she wants you to know!!)
Person 3 Comment – “But we eat it”
**(Another commenter coming on to let us all know that they too in fact eat it!! We are still talking about Harissa right??… I still don’t know what that is…)
Person 4 Comment – “Don’t eat harrisa? It is a must in every meal. Coming from Moroccan. I don’t know where she come up with that”
**(So here comes person 4 to respond to person 1 about how Moroccans do not eat harissa!! You guys… what the fuck is Harissa???. anyone???)
Person 1 Comments again – “Well boy I ain’t a she. And if you’re used to eat harissa whereas you were raised in Morocco, it’s up to you that’s fine. But I bet you eat ketchup too. I mean the only moroccan touch in this meal is only the name and that’s all.”
**(What’s wrong with ketchup??… rude!!!!)
Person 4 Comments again – “who u r calling boy? A little cunt? U don’t know what are u talking about.”
**(Um… okay guys… what does this have to do with Moroccan chicken?)
Person 1 comments again – “you’re so full of shit with your tiny ballsack that I ain’t even gonna argue with ya on what’s up with the moroccan food. Get your shit together and don’t even try to step out to your miserable hole of “I have been raised in Morocco so I know what’s up”. What I’ve seen is an eyesore to all the moroccan community. But alright I’m glad you grew up with some Harissa out of your ass you fucking horsecrap.”
**(Did this guy just call someone horse crap?? And what does he mean “Harissa out of your ass?”.. Does Harissa come out of assess?? I’m not going to lie… this whole thread is starting to feel a bit like a Donald Trump rally!!)
Person 4 Comments again – “shut the fuck up fucking twat. Go squize on a fat dick, piese of shit , Jackass.”
**(We are definitely NOT talking about Moroccan chicken anymore folks!! “squize” on a fat dick??… WHAT???)
A new person arrives into the conversation – “So much butthurt over a bloody chicken dish. They call it “Moroccan” because it is probably easier than calling it Cumin, Harrissa, cherry tomato and chickpea Chicken.”
**(hmm… good points being made by the new arrival… How will they respond?)
Another new Commenter arrives – “So it’s not Moroccan give a shit! Will that stop you cooking it? If they called it spicy chicken would you cook it? It’s still nice douche!”
**(I don’t know… but spicy chicken and douche in the same sentence makes me feel all weird inside.)
Person 4 comes back for some more – ” So u are a fucking wannabe. Try to hard to fit in? GO FUCK YOUR MAMA”
**(Okay now… I just wanted some chicken!! Why you gotta bring momma into this?! Let’s keep the mothers out of this folks)..
Person 4 left a meme for person 1 –
**(Really creative use of a meme by Person 4… I do love the use of a good meme in a fight…)
And then this guy joins in – “Shit went too far ! … Forget about it ! Realizin’ what a meal’s name can cause , the world is goin’ nuts I swear ! We eat it we don’t eat it , it’s not ours but it’s common in the country whatever it is, let’s make everyone happy ! Oh !”
**(I do agree the world is “goin nuts”… and yet I still laughed my ass off at this comment! “Shit went too far”… yes random commenter on a recipe video… shit did go too far”)
Well… that was fun! Thanks Internet… you always have the ability to lift my spirits… and yet Internet… you also have the ability to have me sitting in my closet in the fetal position rocking back and forth sucking on my thumb crying for my mommy!!
Blink… Blink… Blink…