The Top 5 WORST people to run into in public places…

Have you ever needed to run into the store for something, and you really just want to get in and out as fast as possible, but as you are approaching the item you need, you hear someone yell your name from across the aisle? You quickly look around trying to see if there is anything you can duck behind… maybe the gigantic display of cheese balls, or the buy one get one free Pumpkin spice Oreo’s because they couldn’t sell during Fall and now they are trying to get rid of them with an enormous display that has a big sign that says.. PUMPKIN SPICE… YUMMY ALL YEAR LONG!!! Hoping to trick folks into buying them even though it’s July! (Everyone knows you can’t eat pumpkin in July!!!)
 
 
The display is too far away! You see nothing you can hide behind…  and taking off in a full run would be too obvious… so instead you stand there… thinking THIS:
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For some reason every time I go to Target, I feel like it turns into every reunion that I usually avoid at all costs. Family reunion, high school reunion, company reunion. And for some reason I lie to myself every single time and say… “Oh, it will be a quick trip. No need to fix my hair, or put on make-up or deodorant… or pants! ” And yet, every time, I run into someone!!
 
 
 
I came up with a list of THE WORST people ever to run into in public! Places like grocery stores, BBQ’s and birthday parties, shopping at the mall! 
 
 
The top 5 people you DO NOT want to run into in public places:
 
 
 
1 – The guy/girl you just broke up with. Especially if they are with a new date… and you happen to be in the freezer section balancing six different pints of Ben and Jerry’s in your arms, along with the gigantor jug of Carlos Rossi.  You didn’t think you were going to run into anyone, so you didn’t brush your hair… as a matter of fact, you haven’t showered since the break up! You probably smell like fried onions, farts, and wet dog because since your ex left, you spend your evenings eating Ben and Jerry’s until you fall asleep on the dog! 
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2 – The person that just unfriended you on Facebook! You show up at your neighbors BBQ, and as everyone is sitting around the picnic table, you notice the only open spot is the one directly next to the “friend” that unfriended you. Most of the time you don’t get involved in things like politics on Facebook, but this one time you happened to see a post and decided you had an opinion. So you left a comment and all of a sudden you get unfriended because you had an opinion! And now… here you are… sitting next to the person that got their super tight Fruit of the Looms in a big balled twist straight up their butt hole (probably due to puckering their butt so much.. they need to learn to relax) anyway… here they are sitting next to you. You know they unfriended you, they know they unfriended you… All that is left to say is this:
 
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3 – Your boss… at the fair… right after you just called in sick and told him/her that you are so sick you can barely move!… But then again, you think to yourself, “Why is my boss at the fair? What a lying lazy ass.” He probably thinks the same of me… Oh well.
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4 – Your mother-in-law, while you are shopping for a new vibrator. The kind that glows in the dark! You look over and notice her shopping in the XXX LARGE section of dildos! If you ever find yourself in that situation, it is perfectly acceptable to drop on the ground army crawl style and literally slither your way out of that store… ASAP!!!
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5 – Any person that has to do any kind of maintenance or up keep of your down belows! I’m talking about people like your OBGYN… or the guy who did the colonoscopy on you. This also includes the waxing technician who performed your Brazilian… and butt hole bleaching! There is just something about running into folks that have seen parts of your body that even you have never seen. How can you even have a normal conversation with a person that has seen your Vagina open up like a black hole and release a head the size of a bowling ball, while simultaneously shitting all over them! (Yes.. I shit on my OBGYN!)
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The conversation would probably go like this:
“Oh HEYYYYYYYY Doc! How’s it going? How’s the Vagina business treating you?? You know, I’ve always felt it’s not fair that you have seen my cave of wonders, and I know NOTHING about you! You know, I’ve always wanted to ask you.. my nether regions.. are they what you would consider.. “Good looking”, I mean you know… you see so many, and I figure you have seen some really gorgeous ones and some really scary ones that you probably wish you could erase from your mind forever! I’m just saying… on a scale of hideous to BREATHTAKING… what is my rate??? It’s breathtaking isn’t it??? ISN’T IT??? Doc???? Blink! Blink! Blink!!!”
 
 
 
 
 
So there you have it. The top 5 WORST people to run into in a public place!! So next time you happen to be at Wal-Mart picking up tampons, a giant hunk of chocolate, and the family size bottle of Advil… and you hear someone calling your name… just remember this:
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The World is Goin Nuts!!..

The Internet does it again!! We all know the Internet can be a scary place sometimes. It can also be a magical place full of puppies, pandas, and unicorn poop! 
 
 
The truth is… it is part of our lives now. The Internet is here, and it is a part of how we do many of the things we do.
 
 
 
For instance…
 
 
 
If you have a medical question…  There is WebMD! But be careful because if you type in your symptoms of having a hurt toe… it will probably tell you that you have cancer and you need your leg amputated!
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The days of Encyclopedias are gone! If you need information or to look up facts… You have Google! And everybody knows that Google knows everything!! Just Google it… and Google will tell you….
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If you are feeling sad you can watch hours and hours of puppy videos or cat videos.
https://youtu.be/S7znI_Kpzbs
 
 
 
You can find bloggers, and vloggers, and read all kinds of articles and watch all kinds of videos.
Who is this awesome Blogger…    RIGHT HERE!!!
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And if you feel like socializing with folks… you have Facebook, and Twitter, and Instagram! 
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The fact is… this is how we interact now. We are plugged in. Kind of like the Matrix! A little foreshadowing going on there… 😉 
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I like to hang out on Facebook. I mean… let’s face it… It’s Zuckerberg’s world and we are all just living in it!! Amiiright??!!
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I am highly addicted to a Facebook page called Tasty! This place is almost as addicting as Netflix. They post videos of recipes being cooked and all you see are the hands making the food, and it is mesmerizing. Like I could literally sit for hours and watch video after video. It is highly addicting. They make it all look so easy. And you don’t even have to press play on these videos. Which let’s face it,  who the hell wants to take time to press play. Being able to just scroll and it starts playing magically is amazing. Nobody has time to be pressing play on shit.
 
 
 
But then…  you have the comment section. I know, I know… NEVER read the comments! You might think to yourself “Oh this is a recipe on how to make some cheesy enchilada dish… how bad can the comments be?”
 
 
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BAD!!
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So I watched this recipe here about Moroccan chicken. And I want to break down for you how a simple recipe for Moroccan chicken can turn into an all out drunken brawl. Thanks Internet!! 
 
 
 
 
It all starts out pretty innocent enough. Everyone has an opinion, right? So they must come and write it in the comments so all the people can see how they feel about Moroccan chicken:
 
 
 
These are real comments: (I wrote them exactly as they are written in the comment section, So don’t blame me for the misspells… 😉 ) 
 
 
** – My thoughts…
 
 
 
 
Person 1 Comment – “Morrocan don’t eat harissa… Spread some cumin and let it cook with some chickpeas doesn’t mean it’s a moroccan like, and it goes the same way as well for the others meals… This is just a One-Pan Chicken to me”
 
 
**(Innocent enough I guess. This guy is not impressed with one of the spices so he must tell all the people! What even is Harissa though?? I have no idea)…
 
 
 
Person 2 Comment –  “We eat it –‘”
 
 
 
**(okay… so apparently there is a person that eats it, and she wants you to know!!)
 
 
 
 
Person 3 Comment – “But we eat it”
 
 
 
**(Another commenter coming on to let us all know that they too in fact eat it!! We are still talking about Harissa right??… I still don’t know what that is…)
 
 
 
Person 4 Comment –  “Don’t eat harrisa? It is a must in every meal. Coming from Moroccan. I don’t know where she come up with that”
 
 
 
**(So here comes person 4 to respond to person 1 about how Moroccans do not eat harissa!! You guys… what the fuck is Harissa???. anyone???)
 
 
 
Person 1 Comments again – “Well boy I ain’t a she. And if you’re used to eat harissa whereas you were raised in Morocco, it’s up to you that’s fine. But I bet you eat ketchup too. I mean the only moroccan touch in this meal is only the name and that’s all.”
 
 
 
**(What’s wrong with ketchup??… rude!!!!)
 
 
 
Person 4 Comments again – “who u r calling boy? A little cunt? U don’t know what are u talking about.”
 
 
 
**(Um… okay guys… what does this have to do with Moroccan chicken?)
 
 
 
Person 1 comments again – “you’re so full of shit with your tiny ballsack that I ain’t even gonna argue with ya on what’s up with the moroccan food. Get your shit together and don’t even try to step out to your miserable hole of “I have been raised in Morocco so I know what’s up”. What I’ve seen is an eyesore to all the moroccan community. But alright I’m glad you grew up with some Harissa out of your ass you fucking horsecrap.”
 
 
 
**(Did this guy just call someone horse crap?? And what does he mean “Harissa out of your ass?”.. Does Harissa come out of assess??  I’m not going to lie… this whole thread is starting to feel a bit like a Donald Trump rally!!)
 
 
 
Person 4 Comments again – “shut the fuck up fucking twat. Go squize on a fat dick, piese of shit , Jackass.”
 
 
 
**(We are definitely NOT talking about Moroccan chicken anymore folks!! “squize” on a fat dick??… WHAT???)
 
 
 
 
 A new person arrives into the conversation – “So much butthurt over a bloody chicken dish. They call it “Moroccan” because it is probably easier than calling it Cumin, Harrissa, cherry tomato and chickpea Chicken.”
 
 
 
**(hmm… good points being made by the new arrival… How will they respond?)
 
 
 
Another new Commenter arrives – “So it’s not Moroccan give a shit! Will that stop you cooking it? If they called it spicy chicken would you cook it? It’s still nice douche!”
 
 
 
**(I don’t know…  but spicy chicken and douche in the same sentence makes me feel all weird inside.)
 
 
 
Person 4 comes back for some more – ” So u are a fucking wannabe. Try to hard to fit in? GO FUCK YOUR MAMA”
 
 
 
**(Okay now… I just wanted some chicken!! Why you gotta bring momma into this?! Let’s keep the mothers out of this folks)..
 
 
 
Person 4 left a meme for person 1 – 
 
 
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**(Really creative use of a meme by Person 4… I do love the use of a good meme in a fight…)
 
 
 
And then this guy joins in – “Shit went too far ! … Forget about it ! Realizin’ what a meal’s name can cause , the world is goin’ nuts I swear ! We eat it we don’t eat it , it’s not ours but it’s common in the country whatever it is, let’s make everyone happy ! Oh !”
 
 
 
**(I do agree the world is “goin nuts”… and yet I still laughed my ass off at this comment! “Shit went too far”… yes random commenter on a recipe video… shit did go too far”)
 
 
 
 
Well… that was fun! Thanks Internet… you always have the ability to lift my spirits… and yet Internet… you also have the ability to have me sitting in my closet in the fetal position rocking back and forth sucking on my thumb crying for my mommy!!
 
 
 
Blink… Blink… Blink… 
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Weight Loss, Balls, and other Annoyances…

It’s that time of year where we see blogs, videos, and articles all over the Inter-webs about New Year resolutions and new beginnings for 2016. It’s very inspiring… and also annoying. Mostly because I consider myself a fairly self aware individual. Which means I am acutely aware of my propensity to procrastinate… on everything… (do you like all those fancy words I used??)
 
 
I stopped making New Year resolutions because I procrastinate… and because of that, I will almost certainly not follow through which will eventually make me feel like dump about myself.
 
 
It’s my own fault. I end up giving myself expectations that are so huge no one could possibly live up to them. No… I am done with that! 
 
 
I have instead decided to be content and okay exactly as I am. However, that does not mean that I am not moving forward. I am always moving forward. Learning, growing… and always moving forward to a new place. But enough with the damn expectations already!
 
 
There is nothing wrong with me just as I am… and there is nothing wrong with you just as you are!!
 
 
But that is not what this post is about. So let me get to the point. My most read and shared blog posts from past years tend to be ones that are bitchy in nature. You guys LOVE reading the stuff I complain about. Ya bunch of weirdos…  Just Kidding! But not really kidding though..
 
 
So I figured since you guys love it when I rant, I would give you a big old end of the year rant!! 
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Enjoy!!
 
 
It has been a year full of all kinds of crazy. But we have to start somewhere so I decided to start with this!
 
 
This… 
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Can we all please just STOP saying this!!
 
 
First of all… we live in a world where for some reason people love to use the term “grow a pair” as a sign of strength. I know you know!! WE ALL KNOW… This is FALSE advertising for balls folks!!
 
 
BALLS ARE WEAK!! They are not strong and they are certainly not the sign of strength in any way what so ever.  Every single time I see a person tell someone to grow a pair… my eyes roll so far back into my head I can actually see my brain!!
 
 
Look at this for a minute okay?
 
 
A Vagina spits out a FUCKING HUMAN BEING!!! YOU in fact. A Vagina pushed YOU into this world that you are currently breathing in!  And after it does that… it continues to work. And in many cases it will push out multiple human beings… back to back… and still keep on ticking. It’s like the energizer bunny… It keeps going and going.
 
 
 
I’m not saying that a Vagina doesn’t get banged up after pushing out people… but that son of a bitch keeps going! Vaginas are NOT WEAK!
 
 
Balls on the other hand…  are LITERALLY the weakest part on a human body. So weak in fact that every movie you have ever watched, or book you have ever read where a guy is attacking a girl…  if she kicks him flat in the balls, he drops. That guy is down!! If you barely scrape a pair of balls, they practically deflate. (and nobody likes deflated balls! AMIIRIGHT??)
 
 
So why?? Why do we use that term as a sign of strength when it is anything but strength?
 
 
I don’t get it!! That needs to change! It’s idiotic! Balls are WEAK!!!! 
 
 
Okay… now that I finally got that out of my system… Do you know what is super extremely annoying? When people lose weight and all of a sudden think they now somehow have earned the right to be a judgy asshole to other folks who have not lost weight.
 
Listen okay… If you decided to lose weight.. awesome! Do it!! Go for it! But that does not win you the medal of being a Judgy Mcjudgerton to everyone else who has not lost weight. 
 
 
Some people are happy just as they are. Who are you to tell them they need to lose weight if they are perfectly happy with the weight they have? YOU do not have a right to choose what makes another person happy. That is NOT for YOU to decide. Nothing is more annoying than the person that lost 40 pounds who sits on Facebook posting before and after pictures telling everyone that they need to GET OFF THEIR LAZY ASS AND DO IT!!!
 
 
Well… I say FUCK YOU!!! Here is the thing. Before you decided to start losing weight, you didn’t lose weight. And then you did. Maybe other people aren’t there yet. Maybe they haven’t reached that point where they want to do it. Everyone has a different road. And just because your road led you to lose 40 pounds does not mean every single person has the same road. Not to mention you have no idea why a person has weight on them. Medications… sickness… or because they fucking love food! Which is not bad! It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! So lose weight if you want to. Do it for yourself. But if you are posting over and over on Facebook telling people they need to get on it and quit being lazy, thinking you are being inspirational… NOPE!!! You are being a pretentious asshole. 
 
 
Side Note – I am not talking about being proud of yourself. That is a completely different thing. There is a huge difference between being proud of yourself and being a pretentious asshole!! Although, I am not a fan of before and after pictures. You were beautiful before, and you are beautiful after!
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Another super annoying thing about Facebook… the kardashians. When is this going to stop!! WHEN?? Why?? HOW?? I read somewhere that you can put a filter in your news feed that will keep anything kardashian from popping up and all I have to say about that is LIES!!! Every day my trending feed has something about a kardashian! EVERY SINGLE DAY! It goes something like this:
 
Trending Feed:
 
-Kim wore a shirt today! Twitter goes crazy
 
-Kendell put pink lipstick on! Instagram breaks in half
 
-Kanya and Kim name their kid Fart face! The Internet blows up!
 
 
WHY??.. WHY WHY WHY???
 
 
I don’t understand. I actually think the Kardashians might be like those Twilight vampire people or something. They are just always there! ALWAYS!! 1852, the kardashians were there… 1901, kardashians were there… 1930’s, kardashians were there… 3000’s, kardashians will be there… 
 
 
I’m guessing the only way to get rid of the Kardashians would probably be some kind of ancient silver plated pair of scissors. I am certain there is a special lace thong underwear that has been passed down from generation to generation. You will have to go on a harrowing deathly journey to find the mystical garment, climbing through piles and piles of clothes and make-up and shoes… SO MANY SHOES, only to find a safe. It won’t be easy… but once you figure out how to get into the safe you will find the magical, mystical underwear inside.  You must then cut the thong with the ancient silver plated scissors into tiny little pieces, burn the pieces…. and then bury the ashes deep in the heart of the Bermuda triangle and then maybe… just maybe they will go away! Not likely though…
WHO WORE IT BETTER
Buster or Kim??..
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Okay… there is so much more that I want to discuss, but I will have to do a part 2 because this is getting ridiculously long!
 
 
In part 2 we can talk about how in the hell is a racist, sexist, bigot one of the Presidential candidates for this amazing country that has a root system based on FREEDOM! And how rapists that wear funky sweaters get away with rape! I would also like to discuss how actually funny it is that every time someone goes to the theater to watch Star Wars, they have to post a picture of themselves sitting in the theater. My Facebook feed is filled with thousands of pictures of folks sitting in theaters with “hashtag Watching Star Wars!!!” Do they feel like nobody will believe them unless they take a picture? I actually think it is very endearing. I am a fan of Star Wars. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but you know I will most definitely take a picture while I am sitting in the theater and post it to Facebook… saying “Hashtag STAR WARS BITCHES!!!”…
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5 of the most ANNOYING Facebook comments ever… Just Saying…

I have a love affair with Facebook! It’s more of a love/hate type of thing really. I love that Social Media has created a place where we can connect with people, and share with each other all of the things that are important to us, and things that we love. There is also a downside to all of it.
 
 
I have written many articles about the good and bad of social media, and there is so much good that comes from being able to interact on a social platform like Facebook…. examples are being able to communicate and talk with people who are located on the other side of the planet that we are on. In the 80’s, the only way to even try to talk to someone who lived in Saskatchewan would be to dial a big huge number that would show up on your phone bill, and someone would always end up being pissed at you for dialing out of the country!!
 
 
 
The Internet has created this place where people from all over this globe can communicate and share with each other. It’s a great thing!!
 
 
 
We all know about the downside though. THE TROLLS!!! The mean ass people who don’t give a crap about what they spew out into the Universe and who it will be affecting. They don’t care! I truly believe trolls just need a hug…. around the neck… with my hands…
 
 
 
I have been joining into social media for over 8 years now. I started out on MySpace. I would post music as my background and post pics of all kinds to represent exactly who I am! I had to try to keep up with maintaining my “cool” rep!! That’s not at all true… I totally just lied about being cool. I am not nor have I ever been cool.
 
 
Then Facebook happened! In all the years I have been partaking in social media, no matter what you post… there is always that one person…. That one ANNOYING comment!!! You think you have the most witty, hilarious status post ever, and you are so excited to post it and see how many likes you get. You even made sure to use spell check… and you go ahead and post it! You get some likes…. you start to get a comment or two, and then it happens. That ONE asshole that thinks they are so damn cool and comes along and ruins your status post!!!! You know who you are!!!
 
 
 
 
I have compiled five of the most annoying comments people use on Facebook statuses! Here ya go…
 
 
 
 
1) When people end their comment with “Just Saying!”… Listen, I have used “just saying” before… but when you post a Facebook status that is clearly a joke in hopes to make other people smile… something like “Oh… I ate a bug today, I’m probably going to die a thousand deaths!” This is obviously a joke and not meant to be taken seriously. But then you have that one asshole that comes along and leaves this comment. 
 
 
Asshole – “Um… you do know eating a bug won’t kill you right? Just saying.” OR “Eating bugs isn’t that bad. People do it all the time in other countries. Just saying.” OR “Um… you do know that we are all dying right???? JUST SAYING!”
 
 
Me – “Oh thanks for telling me!! all this time I was sure I was going to live forever…. what would I do without your comment letting me know the truth… the real truth about life! I was sure I was going to be just like that Vampire family, you know, the Cullen’s, but now that you have finally come along and told me the real truth about life, Now I can continue on knowing that YOU….a random asshole Facebook commenter has told me truth while everyone else has lied to me all this time!! I owe you my life friend!!!”. Just saying…. 
 
 
 
 
 
2) When people leave a comment that says “Pic or it didn’t happen!” Okay, first of all, how many people are sitting there ready with their camera all the time. That is NOT real life! Most of the time, I miss the good shit on camera because I don’t usually sit around with my camera ready at all times. When you leave this comment on someones post…. you are basically calling them a liar! You are telling them that even though they took the time to share an event that happened in their life,  you choose to not believe what they are saying unless they can produce proof in the form of a picture. Are you a fucking lawyer or something?! So what if I post that Heath Ledger came back from the dead and became besties with me? Is that so hard to believe?? Your “pics or didn’t happen” is not witty…or cute!! So stop!!
 
 
 
3) People that go around and correct grammar. We all know about the grammar Nazis!  I’m not going to lie, I have used the correction of spelling on asshole troll comments before. But that’s mostly just to piss them off for leaving an asshole comment to begin with. I would never go along and destroy someones Facebook status with a rude comment like this:
 
 
 
Random Facebook status – “Went to the beach with the family today! We had the best time playing in the sand with bukets and shovls. It was awesome!!”
 
 
 
Grammar Nazi – “That’s awesome that you had a great day with your family… but you spelled “buckets” and “shovels” wrong!! Just saying”….
 
 
OR
 
 
Grammar Nazi- “What are bukets and shovls?! LOL!”
 
 
 
Please know that if you do this…. you are a Grade A asshole!! The kind that no one likes at all!! You just made someone feel bad after they were sharing a wonderful memory about their day,  and you ruined it with that one comment!!
 
 
 
4) Another top of the line annoying comment comes in the masqueraded form of “being helpful”… but is actually more bragodocious than anything. For example someone posts a  Facebook status about how their six-year-old keeps missing the toilet and peeing on the floor. A jerk face  always comes along with this comment…
 
 
 
Asshole comment – “Why don’t you make him clean it up himself!! I made my kid clean it up himself and IT NEVER HAPPENED AGAIN!! He learned real quick!!”
 
 
 
A few points here…. I completely and totally doubt that IT NEVER HAPPENED AGAIN!!! Mostly because a kid peeing on the floor is not always on purpose. Accidents happen! I have peed on the floor before because I tried to hold it for too long and at the last second decided to bolt to the toilet and my bladder is like “Fuck you”…. while piss is running down my legs and I finally make it to the toilet covered in piss!! Who am I to judge about not always making the toilet.
 
 
The thing is…. unless someone asks for your parenting advice at the end of their Facebook status, don’t assume they want it!! It’s rude!! We all parent differently, and when you leave a comment like that, you are NOT being helpful! You are being an asshole. I have been a parent for 24 years! There is nothing anyone can tell me that I have not already experienced on my own. If I post a comment about my kid pissing on the floor…. It’s because I want to share with other moms that they are not alone! I’m looking for solidarity as moms. A comment about how you hard assed your kids into never doing it again is nothing more than you saying “I’m a better mom. Maybe you should be a hard ass like me and you will never have pee on the floor again!”
 
 
Have you ever walked into a public restroom before?? These are adults using these restrooms and there is piss everywhere!!! And shit for that matter…. Just because people grow up physically does not mean they never piss on the floor!!!
 
 
 
5) And lastly… anytime you are going to begin a comment with “I am SO SICK OF”… just stop yourself, okay! It is never going to be a nice comment. I have seen this comment on so many Facebook posts. It always goes something like this.
 
 
 
Facebook status – “I have decided to love my body at exactly the weight it is right now!!”
 
 
 
Commenter – “I AM SO SICK of this body love crap!! It is unhealthy!!!! You need to be healthy, and thin like me!!!!”
 
 
 
another example…
 
 
 
Facebook status – “I just wrote a blog post about annoying comments on Facebook statuses… you should check it out!”
 
 
 
Commenter – “I AM SO SICK of people telling me what to comment. I can say whatever I want to say…. it’s MY Facebook and you can’t tell me what to say on MY Facebook!!”
 
 
 
Well…. yes, it is your Facebook! But if you are going to go around leaving asshole comments on people’s Facebook statuses,  then eventually someone is going to write a blog post about it! And then that person will probably ask you to like it and share it… **Blink, Blink, Blink…
 
 
 
Just to be clear… I don’t care at all about what people choose to post on their Facebook statuses, but I do care when people leave asshole comments on my posts or other folks posts. Didn’t your mother ever tell you if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?……….. Asshole!
mf

The thing about Facebook…

It’s true that Facebook can be super annoying. What with all the irritating posts and what not. Kind of like this one!! 😉  The reality is that Facebook has made the way we interact with other people very different from when I was growing up in the 70’s and 80’s. When I was a teenager if you got upset at someone,  you would call their house 500 times and when they pick up you would make heavy breathing sounds or a deep scary voice until they ended up taking the phone off the hook. And we did that even before redial was an actual thing. On rotary phones!! That took some concentration and commitment.  But now a days…it’s called trolling the Internet. Trolls go around leaving asshole comments on folks posts, and I think that is the equivalent to the prank calls we did in the 80’s. I would bet 90% of trolls are 12 year olds.
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It’s no secret to anyone that Facebook can cause a lot of stress and strain on friendships and relationships. We mostly post what is important to us, and what we are into, and what we think is cool. I have always thought of Facebook as the narcissists playground. All of us can post pic after pic of ourselves and the people we like…and we can post all about who we are and what we do. We all have a bit of narcissism in us. I think it’s human nature. I mean, we are stuck with ourselves 24/7 in our own heads. Now Facebook has created a place where we can share all the stuff in our heads and the stuff we like and are into. The thing is, not everybody agree or sees everything the same, so this can cause a lot of turmoil among friendships. Our children have grown up in the Facebook era so I do believe that my kids handle this online life so much better than I do. They have always known how to manage these relationships online, because that is how it has always been for them. I still struggle sometimes though. I think we are all struggling to figure how to manage these friendships online.
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There seems to be two types of people on Facebook. The kind that feel their Facebook is their own and they can post whatever they want, whenever they want and however they want! And they don’t care at all what you think about that!! Then you have the kind that feel you should keep it reined in. Only post certain things, and don’t overdo this or that. These people are not into the TMI posts or fighting posts. They also don’t want to hear about your relationships or see five million pictures of your kid or dinner!
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I have decided that I fall somewhere in the middle between those two things. I do believe that anybody can post whatever they want, but at the same time, because we are openly posting on a public forum, you need to be aware that posting on a public platform means you should expect for opinions to come on what you are posting about. That’s really the whole reason for a public platform. Facebook is NOT a private diary! People will see what you post.  I blog about shit all the time. It would be pretty stupid of me not to expect other folks to disagree with what I am posting about. The thing is….I don’t actually care that much which is why I go ahead and post it. At first I cared a lot. I hated when I would get trolls and assholes saying shit to me, but I realized that it means NOTHING! And it doesn’t change who I am and what I stand for. And there are people who connect with my posts and words and those are the ones I am posting for.  But if there is something I do not want feedback on, I will not post it publicly! 
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There are so many positives to Facebook as well. For instance the birthday thing. I woke up on my birthday and got on Facebook, and I had over 200 people say Happy Birthday to me. It made me so happy. It made my day. In real life….I would never have had 200 people say happy birthday to me. It did make me smile. It did make me happy. And I realized that because of Facebook, I was able to make someone feel just as happy and loved as I did that day. If anyone even tries to say that all those Happy Birthdays on your day doesn’t make you happy…then they are lying!!
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Facebook is a new era that is not going away anytime soon. I love many things about being on Facebook, and I yet there are still things that I have not figured out yet.
 
 
 
Like being unfriended still stings. I don’t know why. I guess because it’s so much in your face that this person no longer wants a connection with you. In real life when you are “unfriended”, it just happens naturally. You and a friend may no longer be connecting and naturally the relationship just falls away. You stop talking and usually just grow apart. But online….It’s a finality. 
 
 
I’ve decided there are different stages of this online process as well. I mean, if someone just unfollows you, that is something that you don’t even know has happened. Most likely you will never know. The person that unfollowed you wants to stay friends but doesn’t agree with or like the thing you talk about. So it’s a very passive aggressive way of detaching themselves from you. 
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Then  you have the unfriending. This is more in your face because you know it happened. You go to this persons page and you see the ADD FRIEND button and you know! You know they unfriended you.  They no longer want to be attached to you on Facebook at all and they want you to know it!
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The next step is much more sever. It’s the unfriending and blocking! Now you not only aren’t friends anymore, but you are no longer even alive to them. You have been erased from their online life all together. It’s not just a break up….but a death!! And you always know when you have been blocked because you will be commenting on a mutual friends post and see them outright talking to that person, but on your end it looks as if they are having a conversation with them self. So you think…hm that’s weird….why are they talking to themselves. And then they may use that person’s name in the comment and you realize…OH….okay…I guess I was BLOCKED! Erased from that person’s life. Which actually makes things uncomfortable if you run into them at Wal-Mart because now you can’t just fake the smile and act like you like them. You both know they have erased you, ..and the best thing to do is just duck behind the massive display of cheese balls and hope they don’t see you!! Because that interaction would be completely awkward now.
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In my own personal online life, I rarely unfriend people. I have officially blocked only 2 people. I am sure I have been blocked by more than that, but I don’t actually give a shit! I am not one of these folks that posts the ” I’m cleaning out my friends list, so tell me how much you love me so I don’t delete you” type of person.  I find that to be a tad bit attention seeking. I’m not judging… but if you want some online love, just straight out ask for it!! No need to do that fishing for compliments thing. I bet if you straight out said, “I’m sad and lonely, could someone send me a happy face so I don’t jump off a bridge” You would be surprised at how many people would send you love. 
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This online world is definitely changed the way we interact with each other. But I believe it has done wonderful things as well. Sometimes I have walked away from Facebook feeling awful! Feeling like I can’t measure up for some reason. And other times I have felt loved and appreciated by folks I rarely talk to. It’s a strange phenomenon. 
 
I love Facebook!! I am most definitely addicted to it. I love commenting on posts and giving my two cents even though nobody cares. This is the way we communicate now. The Facebook era is here, and this is a sign of our times, and a sign of the future and how we will progress in communicating with each other. I’m totally on board!! Now Twitter….that’s another story all together!! No matter how many times my kids try to show me how to use Twitter, I just can’t figure it out. And who in their right mind can tell a story in 10 words or less anyway?!
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Children vs Adults! ..Christmas Edition

It’s that time of year again folks. When everything is lit up, and people are smiling and happy, and there is Christmas cheer to be had by everyone!!  In all honesty though,  …this can also be the most stressful time of year for many folks. I am without a doubt on the top of that list!!! It is officially mid December and I have not bought one single gift for anyone, I have barely put up the tree,…and the stockings are NOT hung by the fire with care. I’m behind, I’m broke, …and I need a drink! Preferably some spiked egg nog!! It’s funny because when I was a kid, I saw Christmas in such a different way. The entire thing was so magical to me. Everything! I Loved Christmas! As I have gotten older, …my views on Christmas have changed. I am not a super grinch, but damn….It’s hard not to be!! So I compiled a list of how children see Christmas vs. Grown Ups! It’s the most wonderful time of year folks…

 
CHRISTMAS

 
Children vs. Adults:

 

The day after Halloween all the decorations up in the store-

 
CHILD SEES – YAAAAY!!!That means I should start my list soon!! I don’t want to run out of time and get it in late!!

 
ADULT SEES – Oh Shit!! really??… I just took these people trick or treating!! GO AWAY Christmas decorations…you’re making me feel bad!

 

 

Black Friday-

 
CHILD SEES – Yesterday was so fun! I ate turkey and pie!! Mom…can I have pie for breakfast??

 
ADULT SEES – Well let’s see…..Do I take the hatchet or the football gear?! hm..

 

 

Christmas lights on houses –

 
CHILD SEES – When are we getting our lights up mom?? Can you do it tonight?? PLEEEAASSSE!! And can we go get our Christmas tree NOW?!…PLEEEEAAAASSSEE!!!

 
ADULT SEES – Oh Shit!!! I loaned the ladder to Joe’s sister last spring and she never gave it back. Bitch!! Oh crap, …Last year I stepped on the lights trying to get them off the house because they were frozen to the roof. I bet I have to buy all new lights again this year! Dammitt!!

 
Christmas Commercials-

 
CHILD SEES – That’s cool!! I like it! I am definitely putting that on my list!

 

 
ADULT SEES – What is that??!! And where the hell am I going to be able to find a stuffy mcstufferton that turns into a battle star galactica spaceship, ..that also turns into a sleeping bag, which also turns into a doll house/play oven thing!! I have never seen that in any store EVER! Awesome!!

 

 

Santa in the Mall-

 
CHILD SEES – LOOK!! It’s SANTA!! I Love him SO MUCH! He is the greatest EVER!!!I hope he knows I’ve been good all year!

 
ADULT SEES – Ew! Okay…that Santa looks pervy to me. Why couldn’t the store find someone that doesn’t look pervy!!Kids…we’re not sitting on Santa’s lap this year. Just wave from here…

 
(There is an exception with this one! Most kids are afraid of Santa until they reach a certain age. Some kids NEVER want to sit on his lap! I don’t blame them)

 

 

Stockings hung by the fire with care-

 
CHILD SEES – I love my stocking! My favorite is opening up my stocking first thing on Christmas!

 
ADULT SEES – Did these stockings get bigger since last year?? They look bigger to me.. *sigh..

 

 

Christmas shows on T.V.-

 
CHILD SEES – *Staring at the t.v mesmerized by Rudolph’s shiny nose!!…It’s actually mesmerizing..

 
ADULT SEES – *Staring at the t.v. mesmerized by Rudolph’s shiny nose!!… It’s actually mesmerizing..

 

 

Leaving Santa cookies and milk-

 
CHILD SEES – MOM…did you get the cookies on the plate for Santa? We need to leave carrots for the reindeer, …and I think Santa likes chocolate milk best!

 
ADULT SEES – um…can we use the cookies that I made instead of the ones that you made!? Blink, Blink, Blink.. And I think Santa would like this chocolate milk. It’s a special kind. For grown ups!

 

 
Disclaimer – I love my kids…but I DO NOT trust the cookies that they make. Those grubby little hands are GROSS! and yes…the special chocolate milk is Baileys!! Don’t judge…

 

 

Christmas Morning-

 
CHILD SEES – I’M SO EXCITED!!!!I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY!!!! I AM AWAKE AND READY TO HAVE FUN!!!!!

 
ADULT SEES – I haven’t slept in 24 hours… Holy crap I think I’m hallucinating! I need some coffee….or crack! Crack cocaine might work better…
KIDS!!! can we go back to bed until tomorrow…pleeeeeaasssseee….

 
So there you have it! Christmas through a child’s eyes as opposed to a grown ups eyes. Last year after Christmas I was taking down all the decorations and decided that I would rather become Jewish. I think taking down decorations when you are Jewish is SO much easier.  And why does that Santa bastard always get all the credit?!!

 

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What if Dog’s took selfies?…

Have you ever wondered what it would look like if your dog or cat could take selfies and post them on social media? I have often wondered what is going on in that furry head of Buster’s.

 

And then it happened…..

 

I was downloading some pictures from my camera and found these…..  Oh Buster!!!

 

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buster

buster3

buster0

buster5

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And of course we can”t forget this one…

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Well…… There you have it!   I guess I better start hiding the camera, ..or open up an Instagram for Buster…

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