18 Jun 2015 1 Comment
I have a love affair with Facebook! It’s more of a love/hate type of thing really. I love that Social Media has created a place where we can connect with people, and share with each other all of the things that are important to us, and things that we love. There is also a downside to all of it.
I have written many articles about the good and bad of social media, and there is so much good that comes from being able to interact on a social platform like Facebook…. examples are being able to communicate and talk with people who are located on the other side of the planet that we are on. In the 80’s, the only way to even try to talk to someone who lived in Saskatchewan would be to dial a big huge number that would show up on your phone bill, and someone would always end up being pissed at you for dialing out of the country!!
The Internet has created this place where people from all over this globe can communicate and share with each other. It’s a great thing!!
We all know about the downside though. THE TROLLS!!! The mean ass people who don’t give a crap about what they spew out into the Universe and who it will be affecting. They don’t care! I truly believe trolls just need a hug…. around the neck… with my hands…
I have been joining into social media for over 8 years now. I started out on MySpace. I would post music as my background and post pics of all kinds to represent exactly who I am! I had to try to keep up with maintaining my “cool” rep!! That’s not at all true… I totally just lied about being cool. I am not nor have I ever been cool.
Then Facebook happened! In all the years I have been partaking in social media, no matter what you post… there is always that one person…. That one ANNOYING comment!!! You think you have the most witty, hilarious status post ever, and you are so excited to post it and see how many likes you get. You even made sure to use spell check… and you go ahead and post it! You get some likes…. you start to get a comment or two, and then it happens. That ONE asshole that thinks they are so damn cool and comes along and ruins your status post!!!! You know who you are!!!
I have compiled five of the most annoying comments people use on Facebook statuses! Here ya go…
1) When people end their comment with “Just Saying!”… Listen, I have used “just saying” before… but when you post a Facebook status that is clearly a joke in hopes to make other people smile… something like “Oh… I ate a bug today, I’m probably going to die a thousand deaths!” This is obviously a joke and not meant to be taken seriously. But then you have that one asshole that comes along and leaves this comment.
Asshole – “Um… you do know eating a bug won’t kill you right? Just saying.” OR “Eating bugs isn’t that bad. People do it all the time in other countries. Just saying.” OR “Um… you do know that we are all dying right???? JUST SAYING!”
Me – “Oh thanks for telling me!! all this time I was sure I was going to live forever…. what would I do without your comment letting me know the truth… the real truth about life! I was sure I was going to be just like that Vampire family, you know, the Cullen’s, but now that you have finally come along and told me the real truth about life, Now I can continue on knowing that YOU….a random asshole Facebook commenter has told me truth while everyone else has lied to me all this time!! I owe you my life friend!!!”. Just saying….
2) When people leave a comment that says “Pic or it didn’t happen!” Okay, first of all, how many people are sitting there ready with their camera all the time. That is NOT real life! Most of the time, I miss the good shit on camera because I don’t usually sit around with my camera ready at all times. When you leave this comment on someones post…. you are basically calling them a liar! You are telling them that even though they took the time to share an event that happened in their life, you choose to not believe what they are saying unless they can produce proof in the form of a picture. Are you a fucking lawyer or something?! So what if I post that Heath Ledger came back from the dead and became besties with me? Is that so hard to believe?? Your “pics or didn’t happen” is not witty…or cute!! So stop!!
3) People that go around and correct grammar. We all know about the grammar Nazis! I’m not going to lie, I have used the correction of spelling on asshole troll comments before. But that’s mostly just to piss them off for leaving an asshole comment to begin with. I would never go along and destroy someones Facebook status with a rude comment like this:
Random Facebook status – “Went to the beach with the family today! We had the best time playing in the sand with bukets and shovls. It was awesome!!”
Grammar Nazi – “That’s awesome that you had a great day with your family… but you spelled “buckets” and “shovels” wrong!! Just saying”….
Grammar Nazi- “What are bukets and shovls?! LOL!”
Please know that if you do this…. you are a Grade A asshole!! The kind that no one likes at all!! You just made someone feel bad after they were sharing a wonderful memory about their day, and you ruined it with that one comment!!
4) Another top of the line annoying comment comes in the masqueraded form of “being helpful”… but is actually more bragodocious than anything. For example someone posts a Facebook status about how their six-year-old keeps missing the toilet and peeing on the floor. A jerk face always comes along with this comment…
Asshole comment – “Why don’t you make him clean it up himself!! I made my kid clean it up himself and IT NEVER HAPPENED AGAIN!! He learned real quick!!”
A few points here…. I completely and totally doubt that IT NEVER HAPPENED AGAIN!!! Mostly because a kid peeing on the floor is not always on purpose. Accidents happen! I have peed on the floor before because I tried to hold it for too long and at the last second decided to bolt to the toilet and my bladder is like “Fuck you”…. while piss is running down my legs and I finally make it to the toilet covered in piss!! Who am I to judge about not always making the toilet.
The thing is…. unless someone asks for your parenting advice at the end of their Facebook status, don’t assume they want it!! It’s rude!! We all parent differently, and when you leave a comment like that, you are NOT being helpful! You are being an asshole. I have been a parent for 24 years! There is nothing anyone can tell me that I have not already experienced on my own. If I post a comment about my kid pissing on the floor…. It’s because I want to share with other moms that they are not alone! I’m looking for solidarity as moms. A comment about how you hard assed your kids into never doing it again is nothing more than you saying “I’m a better mom. Maybe you should be a hard ass like me and you will never have pee on the floor again!”
Have you ever walked into a public restroom before?? These are adults using these restrooms and there is piss everywhere!!! And shit for that matter…. Just because people grow up physically does not mean they never piss on the floor!!!
5) And lastly… anytime you are going to begin a comment with “I am SO SICK OF”… just stop yourself, okay! It is never going to be a nice comment. I have seen this comment on so many Facebook posts. It always goes something like this.
Facebook status – “I have decided to love my body at exactly the weight it is right now!!”
Commenter – “I AM SO SICK of this body love crap!! It is unhealthy!!!! You need to be healthy, and thin like me!!!!”
Facebook status – “I just wrote a blog post about annoying comments on Facebook statuses… you should check it out!”
Commenter – “I AM SO SICK of people telling me what to comment. I can say whatever I want to say…. it’s MY Facebook and you can’t tell me what to say on MY Facebook!!”
Well…. yes, it is your Facebook! But if you are going to go around leaving asshole comments on people’s Facebook statuses, then eventually someone is going to write a blog post about it! And then that person will probably ask you to like it and share it… **Blink, Blink, Blink…
Just to be clear… I don’t care at all about what people choose to post on their Facebook statuses, but I do care when people leave asshole comments on my posts or other folks posts. Didn’t your mother ever tell you if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?……….. Asshole!