If you don’t eat your meat, You can’t have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat!

Yes….the title of this post is a lyric in the song Pink Floyd’s The Wall!! “We don’t need no education
We don’t need no thought control, No dark sarcasm in the classroom, Teachers leave them kids alone! Hey! teachers! leave them kids alone! All in all you’re just another brick in the wall! All in all you’re just another brick in the wall!”

This post has absolutely nothing to do with Pink Floyd or this song. It just worked really well for my title!

Having been through primary school, junior high school, high school, and most of college, I believe I am a professional in the way of public school. I’ve been, I’ve succeeded, and I have no desire to ever return. The main reason for this, among other reasons, is that at my age, looking back, I realize that the rules enforced in public schools are BULLSHIT. I have some examples for you. So, without further adieu, here are the school rules.

– No running in the halls! BUT you can’t be late to class, or you will get a tardy. Seriously, three to five minutes should be enough for you to get all the books you need, get a drink of water, and go to the bathroom without being late. But no running.

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– You are not allowed to wear hats in school. It’s rude. Also, no tank tops or short skirts, because it’s revealing and rude. BUT cheer-leading uniforms are completely alright. Sure, they may have midriffs showing or, in some cases, butt cheeks, but they are okay. It’s to build team spirit. But hats are fucking rude, don’t wear them.

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~

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– You can’t do your homework during detention. No, you must do nothing. Isn’t that horrible? Doing nothing? I’m sorry, isn’t “doing nothing” a favorite pass time for teenagers? It’s, like, their second favorite activity, just behind doing stupid shit. Or you could force them to do their homework, and that would be forcing them to learn, to get their homework done, and to do something they hate. Punishment accomplished.

– Playground rules are the best. No climbing up the slide. No standing on the teeter totter. And only swing back and forth. These rules are placed because these activities are dangerous. BUT these are totally deemed safe.

Nothing to worry about here…

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~

What could possibly go wrong with this scenario~

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– No throwing snow balls at recess! What do you think this is? A playground? If you want to have fun in the snow, just have fun standing in it. That should be fun enough for you. Just stand there.

– Stand in line perfectly. If all of you fail at standing in line perfectly and silently, we will practice it for however long it takes. Practicing standing in line for ten minutes straight? Time well spent. It’s not like they could be doing something more important, like math or science.

– Teachers are only hired if they have a certain amount of schooling and qualifications. BUT anybody is qualified to be a lunch lady or bus driver. Is there a school out there that actually does any background checks on these people? Do they even go to a job interview? Because from my experience, anybody is allowed to cook your child’s food. And who cares if the guy is a drunk? I’m sure he can drive a bus load of children. Psh. They’ll be fine.

– Homework is stupid. Sorry, child, I know you have spent 8 hours doing shit you hate, but it’s not enough. Teachers will send home more work, so that you have to do more shit you hate. The fun part is that it’s not only you that suffers, but also your parents.

Story Time with Me

This is a personal experience of mine. Imagine it. It’s cold outside. Not snowing, but chilly. I’m in the 6th grade. Begin scene.

Teacher: Where is your coat?

Me: I didn’t bring one.

Teacher: You need a coat.

Me: I’m fine.

Teacher: It’s cold outside.

Me: Honestly, I’m good. I’m not cold.

Teacher: You have to wear a coat.

Me: I don’t need a coat because I’m not cold.

Teacher: You have to. Go to the lost and found and find a coat to wear.

At this point, what I wanted to say was, “Ew! So I’m not allowed to be cold, but I am allowed to wear something that could have a number of diseases (like LICE) in it that somebody obviously didn’t want anymore, otherwise they would have rescued it from the lost and found. If it was too dirty to keep, I don’t want it on my body.” But, I was in the 6th grade and liked being a good student. So, I went to the lost and found. The choices were sparse, but I found a lovely sweater with a skull on it that smelled funny. Yeah. You’re right, Teacher. This is better than being mildly cold. Thank you for your concern.

funny-kid-coat-big-yard

So, I guess the point is that even though getting an education is great, public school needs to really think through their outdated rules. Catch up with the rest of the modern world, school!

*Side Note – I love Teachers and think they have the hardest job in the world!! I also believe that most teachers deserve lots of Vodka from all of the parents of the kids that they have to deal with on a regular basis!! ~ So send them some Vodka…they would probably appreciate it. 🙂

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. List of X
    Mar 30, 2015 @ 21:30:28

    Yeah, sure, get the teachers drunk, 🙂

    Reply

  2. Joy Christi
    Apr 09, 2015 @ 07:43:52

    So TRUE. It drives me banaynay when adults force kids to dress warm because adults are cold. Kids have better circulation and are more active, if they say they re not cold it’s probably because they’re not. And if they are cold? They’ll learn for next time.

    Reply

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