Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done!~

If you follow my Facebook page, you may remember a story I told a while back about picking up my nine year old from school one day!! 
 
 
This happened:
 
 
As I was picking up the nine year old from school today, he started to walk towards the car, ..and there was another kid walking next to him. Out of nowhere, they both drop their backpacks and take off running toward the buses! Then my son comes back, picks up his back pack, ..and walks over to the car.
 
 
Me – “What was that all about?”
 
 
 
The 9 year old – “Oh that was some random kid that wanted to race to the buses!”
 
 
 
Me – “So you didn’t even know him?”
 
 
 
The 9 year old – “No! but he said…hey want to race to the buses and I was like…sure.”
 
 
 
All I keep thinking about is, what if grown ups did things like that?!..
 
 
 
I’m walking through Walmart in the frozen section and a random lady is standing there picking out a frozen lasagna. She looks at me and I look at her…
 
 
 
Random lady in the freezer section – “Hey…wanna race to the chip aisle?”
 
 
 
Me – “Hell to the Ya I do!!! Let’s do this!”..
 
 
.
So we both take off racing to the chip aisle. I win of course because I’m awesome!
 
 
 
Random lady – “awww man!! I was so close!” …then she walks off…
 
 
 
Who do I have to get a hold of to make this a thing??… because I am in!!
 
 
 
This got me thinking about how being an adult is so stupid sometimes! It’s like, somewhere along the way we lose our sense of whimsical thought, and we become much more hardened about the world.  I don’t know when it happens, but it is sad that it happens. 
 
 
 
There were so many things I was expecting adulthood to be like that never actually happened.  Things like this:
 
 
 
1) I was certain I was going to end up one day dealing with volcano Lava. I was extremely prepared for it too.  I used to jump from couch to couch and knew exactly how to get past volcano Lava without getting touched by it at all!   I would say…I was Pro level!!
 
 
 
 
2) Another thing I have yet to have been faced with is quicksand! In the 41 years I have been on this Earth, I have never even seen quicksand!  I am probably over prepared for quicksand though. I had even drawn out an escape plan and had it folded up and carried it around with me for the majority of ’82. 
 
 
 
 
3) I will admit to actually believing that the crust of the bread is the healthiest part! I blame my Mom for this!! When I actually started eating it, ..I really thought I had achieved something great. Now I am a “healthy” eater. Just call me “health nut” because I ate the crust of the bread!! Thanks mom…for that LIE!!!!
 
 
 
 
4) I can’t tell you how many times I was going to “run away” as a kid! I had picked the perfect stick, and kept a red bandanna at all times just in case. I had planned on putting a slice of bread, and my strawberry shortcake doll in the bandanna and tying it to the end of the stick. I did actually make it as far as two houses down once, but I got hungry and ate the bread and was still hungry so I went home for dinner…(FYI – they didn’t even know I left)..
 
 
 
 
5) I also have not experienced being able to walk off a cliff and actually be stuck there for five seconds until you start to fall. I used to always tell myself that if I ever walk off a cliff and am stuck in mid air for five seconds, like every looney toon ever ..instead of looking down, I would use that time wisely and just…you know….walk back to the edge….. problem solved!!!!
 
 
 
 
6) Another thing I was sure was going to happen was that I would most likely get attacked by a shark while I was taking a bath or swimming in a pool! Especially the deep end! I can assure you that I have taken many baths, and swam in many pools and haven’t been attacked yet by a shark! I suppose it could still happen though…
 
 
 
 
7) I was also waiting for the day that my brothers face would get stuck like this!!!
humor-clipart-funny-art-faces-4
 
 
 
 
 
That actually ended up happening…. 
 
 
 
 
If you are reading this… Just kidding bro…. (not really though)… 😉 
 
 
 
 
 
Not much of what I actually thought being an adult would be like has come true! But I can tell you that I have figured out what most of being an adult really is…
 
 
 
 
It’s taxes!! Being an adult is mostly paying taxes! …  
 
 
 
 
 
That’s all folks!!~
 
 
 
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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. El Guapo
    Mar 23, 2015 @ 09:46:12

    I’ve been caught in quicksand. Terrifying.
    It’s a great incentive to learn not to panic.

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Mar 23, 2015 @ 09:52:30

      Wow!! I have never actually met anyone who has ever been caught in quicksand! I really did have an awesome plan established if it were to ever happen, …but I’m guessing if it hasn’t happened by now, ..the chances are slim!! I think you are 100% right though… panicking is probably the worst thing a person could do while stuck in quicksand!! Which I am certain would be the first thing I would end up doing… 😉

      Reply

      • List of X
        Mar 23, 2015 @ 15:49:31

        Having a plan for dealing with quicksand ensures that you won’t get stuck in it in the first place. It’s like taking an umbrella guarantees that it won’t rain.

  2. Sadity Hoodlum
    Mar 23, 2015 @ 11:31:50

    This made me smile. I’m 25 and decided that this is terrible already.

    Reply

  3. Joy Christi
    Mar 24, 2015 @ 17:10:06

    I’m not racing anyone anywhere.
    Unless I can cheat. Then I’m down.
    For me it happened after my THIRD child. I don’t know if it was the age, the amount of kids, the lack of sleep, or alla that + the teenager, but I have been SUPER LAME ever since I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd child. Which, funny story, I found out IN VEGAS while drinking a bloody Mary. Hell yes I finished it, and the beer chaser, but then I pretty much stopped drinking for awhile. I’m drinking again, but still tired, crabby, less funny and just generally LAME.
    You’re still fun, though.

    Reply

  4. skinnyandsingle
    Apr 16, 2015 @ 09:06:25

    you’re nuts, i like that in a person 🙂
    PS There is a LOT of quicksand in Ontario, come check it out 🙂
    https://skinnyandsingle.wordpress.com/

    Reply

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LOUISE ALLAN

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