Don’t get me wrong…I Love Netflix! I am seriously addicted to it. Now that Netflix is in my life, …I have realized that I don’t need anything or anybody else. It could just be me and Netflix forever….I mean, ..until I have watched all the shows. Then there could be a problem.
I never really watched that much television anyway, …but when I did… I would get into a show and wait week by week for a new episode to come. I am one of those people with a very short attention span, …so once the show would go away for more than two weeks …I was over it. Some of these shows will have one episode a week for a month or two, ..and then BOOM…gone for like six months straight. I’m sorry but after six months I have moved on! I don’t have the time or patience to have to re-learn all the people and situations of a show. I’m busy!!! I have things to do…. blink, blink, blink… (whatever!!..I have things I “should” be doing but am choosing not to!! Okay?? Is that better???)
Anyway, about six months ago or so, …my sister got rid of her cable television and went to Netflix! She said it was so much better because not only was it WAY cheaper, …you can watch episodes back to back. So I thought…eh,..I’ll give it a try. At first I was totally stealing some Netflix from my sister! They give you the option to have two screens in your house, ..so instead of getting my own, I totally stole her password and started using it to get on.
Disclaimer – This information needs to stay between us okay?? You know NOTHING! YOU saw NOTHING!! you heard NOTHING! Got it??…
So yeah…I was giving Netflix a try! It didn’t take very long for me to get hooked. I started with LOST! I mean…obviously…..If you get Netflix, and you haven’t watched LOST then you are doing it wrong!!! It was so awesome! No commercials to fast forward through, and every time they left me with a crazy cliff hanger ending, I was like….”Too bad bitches…I’m going to find out what happens right now!” It was AWESOME!!!
I finished LOST and went straight on to Breaking Bad! Again….if you haven’t watched Walter and Jessie…GET ON IT!!!
One night, the kids actually got to bed early enough that I decided to start my show. I was midway through the 4th season of Breaking Bad and some shit was about to go down! I turn on my Netflix and I get this awful notice pop up that says… “Your Netflix account has been suspended!”… So I tried again….same notice pops up! I felt panic starting to creep up inside of me. I texted my sister…
Me – “Um, …what the heck is going on with Netflix?? This weird message keeps popping up when I try to get on!”
My sister ( A.K.A. – crusher of dreams!) – “Oh yeah….I am turning it off for a bit because I had some other bills to pay. I will get it back on but it probably won’t be for a few months or so!”
Me – Blink, Blink, Blink….. “You know…..You should be more respectful when someone is “stealing” from you and not just cut off their supply like that! It’s just rude!!! What am I going to do now??”
My sister (A.K.A- crusher of dreams) – “Oh I don’t know…you could always get your own account!”
Me – *plugging my ears even though this was all in text! “LALALALALAL LALALLALA LALALA I can’t hear you….I can’t hear you!!…Are you saying something because…I CAN’T HEAR YOU lalalalala”
My Sister (A.K.A.-crusher of dreams) – “okay…so anyway….I will get it back on in a few months or so!”
Me – “FINE!!!! You should really think about taking up a career in crushing people’s hopes and dreams. You are really good at it!”
My Sister (A.K.A-crusher of hopes and dreams) – Blink, Blink, Blink……*at least I think she was blinking. I wasn’t actually there and we were texting all this so… yeah…
I had a decision to make. Do I wait the two months for my sister to get it together so that I can keep stealing Netflix from her…or do I take the plunge and just get it myself. Well…obviously I can not wait two months to find out if Walter White actually poisoned that kid, I need to know NOW! So I called and made Netflix official!
Another disclaimer – If you are planning on being all judgy and saying things to me like… “Why can’t you pay for your own Netflix?? It’s only 7 dollars a month! Why are you “borrowing” it from your sister you cheap ass!”. Don’t bother saying it! I already know I’m a cheap ass! But can we all agree that if folks are “stealing/borrowing” from you and they are counting on you, that it’s bad form to just do the cutoff technique!!!
Now that Netflix and I are actually official,…my love and devotion doesn’t need to be held back anymore by people that crush hopes and dreams! (calm the fuck down……Netflix is NOT my hopes and dreams! I’m fucking kidding you assholes!) – Sorry…I KNOW some fool is going to say something about that so I am replying in advance!
Since Netflix and I have been going strong, I finally made it through Breaking Bad. I also watched all of The 100. And of course went back through and re-did all of Doctor Who, .and Sherlock! I am currently watching Weeds! I’m in the 7th season so NO SPOILERS PLEASE!!
The problem with having this relationship with Netflix is that I am now ruined from ever watching regular television again. RUINED!! I have NO patience at all for commercials. I tried to watch something on regular television the other day, and I got five minutes into it and once the commercials started I was OUT!!! I don’t have that kind of attention anymore.
It’s funny because when I was kid, …we would have to actually walk up to the T.V. and turn the knob ourselves! It was barbaric!! You would sit there turning the knob until you could actually find a channel that came in good enough to watch. You would have to sit there moving around the makeshift foil antenna trying to find a channel that had reception. Ah…the good old days! Most of the time you would just give up because it wasn’t worth it. Or you would make your brother stand there holding the foil up to the sky until it came in and then he would have to stand there through the whole episode. Commercials and all!!! Those were tough times in our country!
All I am saying is that I don’t know if I could ever go back. Netflix has ruined me! I am spoiled now. Not that I have ever been a super patient person anyway, but I have zero patience now. I don’t know if I will ever be able to watch an actual show in real time ever again. Those days are gone! If I can’t sit and watch an entire 10 seasons of a show in 3 days, then I’m not watching it! But now it’s time to stop all this writing and go watch some more… See ya!