Goblins, Ghouls, and…. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!…

Halloween is right around the corner. Are you ready?? Have you already purchased your kids Halloween costumes and bought your bags of candy to pass out to all the ghouls and goblins that will be knocking on your door that night? Good for you!! It’s always a good idea to stay ahead of the game and be prepared in advance.

For me though….I tend to never be ready in advance. As a matter of fact….I am LATE to everything. But when it comes to Halloween, …I purposely choose to be late! Here are all the reasons I wait until the very last second to buy my kids Halloween costumes and candy!

September 30th (The 8 year old) – “I want to be Elsa for Halloween…I want to freeze everything and make an ice castle. I definitely want to be Elsa this year!”


October 1st ( The 8 year old) – “I think I want to be Anna from frozen instead of Elsa….she is better because I like how she sings and I really like her dress! I want to be Anna for Halloween.”


October 2nd (The 8 year old) – “I decided to be a black kitty for Halloween. I have always wanted to be a black kitty!”


October 3rd (The 9 year old) – “I want to be Luigi for Halloween”


October 4th (The 9 year old) – “I changed my mind..I want to be Harry Potter….I need a wand”


October 5th (The 9 year old) – “I REALLY REALLY want to be Iron Man! I Love Iron Man!!”


October 6th – (Me) *hm, …that Halloween candy is just sitting in the closet…just sitting there! I’ll just open the bag and eat one. Only one! …. (20 pieces later)….oh crap!! Well, …I’ll just buy more…


October 7th (The 8 and 9 year old’s simultaneously) – “Mom…we changed our minds about our costumes…..We want to be Dead Ninja warriors”..



Me – blink, blink, blink…


October 8th (The 9 year old) – “Last year for Halloween my friend was a zombie dog for Halloween…that’s what I want to be! A zombie dog!”


October 9th (Me) – *stashes the new bags of candy in the bottom of my sock drawer.


October 10th (Me) – *thinks the sock drawer is a bad idea because what if the candy melts. Grabs the candy out of the sock drawer…and eats it! oh crap…I need to buy more candy…


October 11th ( The 14 year old) – “Mom….I was invited to a Halloween costume party and I want to be a baked potato! I would totally win!!!”


Me – *A baked potato??? A friggin baked potato??? I need some chocolate…


October 12th (The 14 year old) – “Never mind mom…I’m not going to the Halloween party, ..but I still want a costume. I guess I’ll just be a mummy and wrap myself up in toilet paper! Then I could use the toilet paper to cover Jake’s house because he told me I had skunk eyebrows!”




*What the hell are skunk eyebrows?


October 13th (The 8 year old) – “I don’t want to dress up for Halloween!! I’m NOT dressing up!”


Me – *GOOD!!! ….I need some chocolate! …hm, where did I put that bag of candy again…


October 14th (The 8 year old) – “Mommy, Mommy,….I want to be an angel for Halloween. With wings and everything”..


Me – (in my head).. *an angel….um, …yeah…try again kid…


October 15th (Me) – *buys 4 more bags of candy to make sure I will have some here for Halloween night!


October 16th (Me) – *Eats 4 bags of candy! ….


October 17th (The 9 year old) – “Okay….I decided I really, really, really want to be a pirate! A REAL pirate though. With a REAL sword and a REAL parrot!.. I promise I won’t actually stab anybody with the real sword!!

Me – Blink, Blink, Blink…


October 18th (The 9 year old) – “I know I said I really, really  was sure about being a pirate but I changed my mind! I want to be dog puke! My friend was dog puke last year and the costume was so funny. We could totally make dog puke..it would be easy!




October 19th , 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th, 26th,27th,28th,29th.… “Mom, I want to be this. no that, no this, no that….never mind…I want to be this….No I want to be that….etc….etc…..etc…..




October 30th – We drive to the store to buy costumes….. (ME) – “Well kids, …looks like you can choose between being a pumpkin or a ghost! Make your choice because this is all they have left!”…




Halloween Night – “Oh you guys looks so cute in your costumes. A pumpkin and A ghost!…Now where did I put that Halloween candy again??”… oh crap…







5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lisaeggs
    Oct 20, 2014 @ 12:42:26

    Oct. 13, LOL!!!! 🙂 I think I did that to my poor mom every year! Vagina, our house is on the only flat street in the whole town. So do you know what that means? About 450 trick-or-treaters! It really is insane. I kind of dig it because it’s just so outrageous. It costs me a fortune, though. And I don’t help matters by getting into the treats early, haha! My little guy was born on Halloween two years ago, so we HAVE to really do it big this year. Thanks for the mid-day chuckle, Heather! Love ya!!!! xoxoxoxo


    • Vagina
      Oct 21, 2014 @ 12:10:07

      That sounds awesome! We pretty much get nobody so even when I am buying the candy,…I know I will be the one eating it in the end!… 😉 Do you decorate the house really big every year? I bet all the houses in your area are done up really fun because of that many trick or treaters. I would love it!


    • Vagina
      Oct 21, 2014 @ 12:12:10

      Lisa….I think I replied to you twice! I’m losing my mind….among many other things….like my keys! I can’t find those damn things….The keys are probably sitting with my mind laughing their asses off at me! Of course I’m only assuming they have asses! Okay….I’m stopping…


  2. Vagina
    Oct 21, 2014 @ 12:08:56

    That sounds awesome! We pretty much get nobody so even when I am buying the candy,…I know I will be the one eating it in the end!… 😉 Do you decorate the house really big every year? I bet all the houses in your area are done up really fun because of that many trick or treaters. I would love it!


  3. Joy Christi
    Oct 24, 2014 @ 09:31:26

    hahahaha SO MUCH! I can never buy candy until the last minute, and I have to get something non-chocolate or else me, my husband and my son will have eaten it ALL before 5pm. And costumes? Oh don’t even get me started!
    They change their minds multiple times PER DAY every day. Luckily they play dress up all the time, so we have tons of costumes from Goodwill and resale shops. They’re princesses, superheros, dinosaurs and yes, Anna & Elsa all the time, every day at the park, the grocery store, etc. At least at this time of year we don’t get weird looks!


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