To Spank or Not To Spank…(Fifty Shades of “Literature”)..



There is so much controversy around the Fifty Shades of Grey series. Every where I look there are articles written about it, and people talking about it… so I thought… eh, why not join in the conversation. Chances are I’m going to piss some folks off, but that’s not a new thing for me… so here we go…


Let me start off by saying a few things. Yes, I read the books. No I do not live the BDSM lifestyle. Until now I had no idea what BDSM even stood for. I had to Google it. Even after reading the books, I didn’t know what that abbreviation meant. I’m not schooled in the ways of these types of things. I’m not saying I haven’t ever been tied up to a bedpost before…. wink wink…… but as far as a “red room” goes, nah,  not something I have done. I have 4 kids so if I were to start doing things with whips and chains, chances are they would find them hiding in my closet and probably start playing  pirates or something and end up beating the crap out of each other. I can see it now!!


While I was reading the books, I never once felt like I was reading award winning literature. I also read the Twilight series and also never felt like it was some awesome literature that was going to go down in history and change the lives of people everywhere. So when I see how angry folks get about these books, I can’t help but remember the scene in Footloose where they are all standing around burn barrels and throwing piles of books in the burning fire. Mob mentality at it’s finest!!


I have read Shakespeare, and I have read Harry Potter, and I have read Catcher in the Rye, …and I have read Pride and Prejudice, and I have even read much of the Bible. The thing is, …everything has it’s place. Every book is different and has it’s own place of where it belongs. All of the fighting that I have seen about these books I really don’t understand. I have seen comments where people say things like “These books promote abuse”, …and “this is not describing the lifestyle in the real way”.  Well… first of all, the last time I checked, it was a fictional story about fictional characters. I never once read that the Fifty Shades of Grey books was a How To series… I mean, if a person is looking into actually starting up a lifestyle like that, I would think the best way to go about it is to research REAL forums, and books. Like maybe The Dummies Guide to BDSM. I don’t believe this fictional story was ever meant to be a real portrayal of how to be a BDSM type pf person. As far as the abuse thing, I mean really?? I am going to get a little personal here and tell you about my childhood. I grew up watching physical abuse happen around me. My dad and mom had a very volatile relationship and I saw things that a child should never have seen. I don’t want to get into it because that’s not what this is about. But when I see people saying this promotes abuse I just can’t help but laugh my ass off. I mean…. it’s NOT REAL!!! First of all… the most important part of any type of relationship is CONSENT!!! That is it!!! Consensual relationships. Where both people are on board and both people have made a decision to be okay with this. Watching my parents fight the way they did was horrible, and it taught me what I don’t want in a relationship. I have never been in an abusive relationship myself and the reason for that is, I chose not to. I made sure that I was not going to have that kind of violence around me. Now, if a person ends up with someone and they start to become violent, that’s when you have to make a choice. Do I stay or do I go? Many people stay. But isn’t that a choice? Which then makes it consensual. I know people are going to disagree with me on this. Fine, you have a right to how you feel about it. I am coming from the place of a child growing up watching 2 people tear each other apart and neither one of them walking away from it. It was almost like they were addicted to the craziness. Eventually it tore them down enough that they both walked away. It comes down to what you will allow in your life. This post isn’t about abuse. I don’t want to get into a big discussion about that. I think when someone is NOT consensual then it is abuse! When someone says NO I DO NOT WANT THIS, …and the person continues to do things, is abuse! CONSENSUAL being the word here. My mom didn’t leave my dad for a long time. Every time she went back to him, she basically said, ..okay, I am consenting to the way things are. Eventually she stopped consenting and left.


Anyway… so now they have made this movie about Fifty Shades of Grey and people are coming out of the woodwork, freaking out about it. Holy crap folks… calm down! The thing is… it really is a fictional story. When I read it…. it was for fun. Nothing more. I thought many parts of  it were silly and ridiculous, but I really wasn’t expecting for it to change me as a person. I went into it fully expecting silliness. It’s like the movies Requiem for a Dream or Trainspotting. Does anyone watch those movies with the idea that you are watching a manual on how to do drugs? Do you now, all of a sudden, have the urge to take heroin or cocaine? Or do you watch it, then continue with your life, how you lived it before the movie? Everything has it’s place in pop culture. It’s the same thing…. it’s just a story.


All stories are different and take you on a different journey. If this one was not for you, so be it. That’s why there is so many stories to choose from. The grey series started out as fan fiction, then became so popular that it morphed into it’s own story. If someone is choosing to use the Fifty Shades of Grey as a blueprint for their life, they may need to re-evaluate why they are doing that. But in truth, I don’t believe folks are reading this with the idea that it is all real life, and now they have to live this way. I can tell you that my experiences in my real life are what generally fuel my decisions that I make and it has nothing to do with some fictional story I read or show I watched.


So there it is. My very own opinion about the Fifty Shades of Grey series. Now remember, this is nothing more than my opinion. This is not real life. It’s just how I choose to see it. This will not change anyone’s life. It is just my thoughts. You can get mad if you want. But really, why waste the energy on getting mad about my opinion. Why not go find a book to read instead!


Here is a list of books you might want to include in your Book Burning of Fifty Shades of Grey!


1)  The Bell Jar – The main character attempts suicide…

2)  A Clockwork Orange – Rape scene by the main characters

3) Mildred Pierce – Has an incestuous love for her daughter

4) Wuthering Heights – Heathcliff is verbally abusive and katherine is manipulative and plotting things and together they make a pretty dysfunctional relationship.

5) Romeo and Juliet – 14 year olds killing themselves in the name of “Love” even though they barely know each other

6) Dorian Gray – He is a horrible awful person that is so shallow, and causes the death of a young girl that was in love with him and he sleeps around.

7) Jane Eyre – Mr. Rochester keeps his crazy wife locked in an attic

8) Battle Royale/Hunger games – Both very similar. A ton of teenagers being forced to kill each other for sport…fun times..

9) Game of Thrones – What ISN’T Wrong with this!! Murder, betrayal, incest, revenge, bestiality, cheating, and the best part is that a lot of the characters are around 14 years old.



This  here is THE BEST dance scene in any movie EVER!!~ The funniest part about it is that all these people lived in a town where dancing was against the law, but once the music starts…all of a sudden everyone is a professional dancer! haha..




12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. List of X
    Jul 28, 2014 @ 13:19:16

    Maybe the real reason why people object to 50 Shades of Grey is because it promotes crappy literature?


    • Vagina
      Jul 28, 2014 @ 13:23:11

      I see what you are saying but there is tons of crappy literature and crappy B rated films that people love. I think what I am trying to say is that everyone has a different opinion about what is crappy and what isn’t. There are some films that I think are so stupid and yet my oldest daughter loves them. We just have different tastes. I think crappy literature has it’s place…like everything else. Anyway…it’s just my opinion though.


  2. Joy Christi
    Jul 28, 2014 @ 13:39:57

    I agree with people generally CALMING the Flapjacks Down and just NOT reading it if they don’t want to. I haven’t read the books, but I’m not against any form of porn, not at all. Maybe if more people read these, they would have more sex and be more happy and we would see a general Un-bunching of society’s undies.


    • Vagina
      Jul 28, 2014 @ 13:46:50

      hahahahha… Exactly!! I am an avid reader. I have read all different kinds of books. I can’t understand why some people get so weird about things. If it’s not for you….don’t read it…problem solved!!…but instead if someone doesn’t like something, ..they expect everyone else to feel that way! …calm down folks…differences are good and that’s what makes the world go round….or maybe that is invisible energy that makes the world go round….either way though….


  3. Jennifer's Journal
    Jul 28, 2014 @ 14:25:07

    The only thing that bothers me about 50 Shades is the pile of money a person can earn for writing such crappy literature. I read the first of the trilogy and I couldn’t stomach reading further – and not because of the BDSM!


  4. REDdog
    Jul 28, 2014 @ 19:08:11

    I agree with you about the consensual thing. I agree with everything you ever say, actually, because behind that thin facade of snark is the mind and wit of a brilliant, insightful and nonjudgmental person who is absolutely committed to promoting free thinking…and I love your shiz! I grew up the eldest child of a loveless marriage, I made choices about my own marriage and parenting as a direct result. My parents are still together and tick over 50 years in January but now their fighting has toned down to nit-picking each other…not nearly as hard to watch but it still does my head in (must be why I live 1800kms away). I’m rambling on a bit here, I know, but I just wanted to say that you are such a special person and I’m sorry you had to grow up in that and I’m stoked to have met you and I love how you talk about the Uterus (your Mum), the Perineum (your sister) and Labias Majora and Minora (your daughters)…Love you Vagina, Red


    • Vagina
      Jul 29, 2014 @ 12:08:34

      REDdog…you are ABSOLUTELY one of my favorite people ever!! I appreciate you saying this so much. And I appreciate you always coming back and supporting me. I am 100% promoted to free thinking and for you to say that means more than you know. That was the main reason I started this whole thing. It was because of the judgement that people throw out so much. I tend to abhor judgmental people. I’ve spent much of my life around judgement and have let the judgement of others affect me way too much. So this blog was my way of basically saying I am not taking it anymore and I will do and say whatever the hell I want too. And if anyone wants to join me in the fight against judgement…hop on board!! 😉 I appreciate you REDdog!!! Thank you so much! ❤ ❤


      • REDdog
        Aug 02, 2014 @ 00:14:48

        Yeah, I already like nothing better than to bully bullies, maybe we can judge the judgemental as well?!

      • Miss Mae
        Aug 10, 2014 @ 09:29:10

        You are the best. I love this blog and this post! I agree with every single word. Reading your words are like a breath of fresh air and liberating. Personally I have been trying to battle judgement with sidestepping anything other than small talk and not speaking up about my own opinions. Suffice to say I’ve come to a place where I’m too tired to give a shit. Because the people I want around me are people who can think for themselves and say what they want to say. I love those people! I think I have the right be one those people.

  5. Mama
    Mar 18, 2015 @ 06:42:19

    Chances are I’m going to piss some folks off, but that’s not a new thing for me… so here we go…= can we be friends?

    You know Filthy Shades of Grey was originally written as fan fiction for Twilight, right? Edward and Bella kick and kink it up a notch?

    I could chip in with my views about the book with regards to feminism, good writing etc but that would be boring. Lets just say it was middle aged lady friendly porn and surely there isn’t enough material in that genre?


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