Have you ever felt like you are failing at life? Like if life was grading you… your grade would be a BIG FAT F!! That is pretty much exactly how I am feeling right now. I guess the best way to describe what is going on with me would be “trudging!”…I’m merely trudging along at this point. The thing is, I feel like I am sucking at everything. I am sucking at cleaning my house, I am sucking at getting my kids where they need to be. I am sucking at being a good friend. I am really sucking at getting any kind of dinner cooked. But in my defense I have always sucked at cooking so… you know…not much change there.
It makes it even harder when you have people around you that put on the “my life is perfect , and if you just did things like me then your life could be perfect too…thing!” I feel like everyone struggles with different things in their life, ..and they are not all the same….but when you can look at another person and judge them so easily because their struggle is different than yours…it’s simply NOT COOL! I couldn’t think of the right word to use there…so I’m just going to say NOT COOL! When a person walks around with the attitude that they have it all figured out, and all is grand, it really does make other people feel bad. Because they start to wonder why can’t they figure it out. Why is it so hard for them to reach that perfection. I can not tell you how many times I have thought to myself, why can Suzy Mcperfect Mcgee from down the street get dinner made, the house cleaned AND the lawn mowed while still looking perfect in her bejeweled jeans, and I can’t even get my damn hair brushed. It sucks to feel like a failure.
My true feeling on this is that some people may find it easier to get dinner on the table and get the house cleaned up, and the lawn mowed and maybe even crochet an entire blanket all in one day…but that does not make them any better of a person than anyone else. Some people are good at that. Some people are good at fitness, and eating super healthy and running 5 miles a day. Some people are really good at art, while others are really good at math. Where the problem comes in, is when someone is really good at something…like say fitness, and they assume that because this thing comes really easy to them, it should be easy for everyone. Narcissism at it’s finest!!
People that spew their crap about how to be a better mother, or have a better body, or how to be a better wife! Give me a damn break!! I am so sick of it! I am tired of feeling like I have to live up to a certain standard because someone else decided that was the way things are supposed to be. Well guess what? That is not the way it is for me!! Just because you may be good at something, does not mean everyone else should be also. This is the main reason I do not join mommy groups! I can not take the judgement that other mothers spew out. It’s damaging and hurtful. I want nothing to do with that crap. Lately I have had a pretty good taste of it because of all these field trips and school picnics I have had to go on, and all it has done is make me realize why I choose not to be a part of all that. I start to fall into that BS and compare myself to these other moms and I start to feel really shitty about myself. Wondering why I can’t seem to get a grip like them. Why can’t I get all the laundry done, or why am I late to every damn thing all the damn time and they are always early. I hate feeling like I am failing. Part of the reason I started this blog was because I wanted other moms to know that they aren’t alone. That they are okay EXACTLY as they are! And yet I have fallen into allowing myself to feel so judged and compared by these other moms. NO… I do not crochet and I can’t sew. I suck at cooking, …and I am a so-so house keeper. I really do try. I have 4 amazing beautiful kids and I can tell you that I love them with all that I am. So I suck a lot, …but when it comes down to it, …there is so much more to me than just a clean house. Actually I never have a clean house anymore so… But yeah! I am trudging, …I am failing right now….but it will be okay because I am still moving along and doing what I do!
So listen, …If you happen to be one of these folks that has it all figured out,…that can get up every day and run 5 miles and hand make all of your kids clothes, and grow all of your own food,…that is awesome. That is really awesome, ..but I would bet that you may have something in your life that you struggle with. So maybe give other mom’s a break!! Maybe back off a little with your “you should breastfeed, ..or you should only buy organic, …or you should do things like I do because I know everything”…crap! The truth is,…no one has it all figured out. Not one damn person. So stop it because you are making people feel bad, and even more you are creating a shit ton of frenemy’s that in reality do not like you at all. There are NO rules!! Just ideas… So be nice…