Facebook Fuckery….part I

 

bitchfest

 

I have written a lot about Facebook. I have also done a lot of Facebook parody videos. I have this love/hate thing going on with Facebook. I have said this before…it is very much like the love/hate thing I have going on with Walmart. I love being able to go to Walmart and buy a bra and not even 5 feet away be able to buy some Ben & Jerry’s chubby hubby. Then there is also that thing of the myriad of butt cracks and deodorant-less people that you have to wade through. I suppose with all things comes the good and bad right?!

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The other day my lil sis and I were chatting and she was telling me how someone came to her facebook page and left a comment saying something like ” I was stalking your page, and saw that you no longer work at the coffee shop.” I wonder…is it “stalking” if you are actually friends on facebook? If someone actually agreed to have you on their friends list, aren’t you allowed to go to their page and look at their shit? I thought that was the point of being facebook “friends.” I mean…what else is there to do when you are a facebook friend. It’s not like you can meet for lunch on facebook and chat about breadsticks. To be friends on facebook means you get to see all the shit that the person posts. That is the extent of your facebook relationship! That’s it!! No matter how annoying what they post is.

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Don’t get all pissy about what I just said. I have openly admitted to being a facebook whore. I totally am. Aren’t we all though? Have you actually stopped to think about why you are even on facebook? Why you feel the need to engage in the whole thing? I am not going to lie…political and religious posts annoy the friggin crap out of me. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, but so do I. So does every damn person that is going to comment on your post about politics or religion. Even the ones you don’t like or agree with. When does YOUR opinion become the only “real” one? Plus…if you didn’t want people to have an opinion about your post…why did you choose a social network site to post it? “SOCIAL” being the important word here! And please with the religious bible versus. Listen okay…..every damn person that lives in this country knows about the bible. EVERYONE!!! If you are posting bible versus because you think it is inspirational to someone, then explain this to me,.. because the ONLY people that you are inspiring, are the people that already believe that way. You might get 10 likes on that post….ALL of them coming from your fellow church people that already know exactly what the bible says. I guarantee….NOBODY is going to read a verse from the bible posted on facebook and think to themselves….Oh…now I want to attend church because I just read a bible verse. I already know a huge group of people are pissed off at me for saying that, but guess what….it’s MY opinion. Same as you…I have a right to it!

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Another group of seriously annoying facebook posts are the constant animal/children abuse posts. I have literally blocked certain people from my facebook feed because I couldn’t take the constant swarm of horrible awful pictures of abused animals and children. WHY are you people posting these?? This is doing NOTHING to help animal and child abuse! NOTHING!!! Posting horrific awful pictures that you can never unsee again is doing nothing more than making sure people have that horrible image in their head all day. So bascially making sure you screw up their day. Have you ever had a song stuck in your head all day? Well…it’s the same damn thing when you see a picture of someone skinning a dog while it’s alive! FRIGGIN STOP with those picture already. If you want to join in the animal/child abuse problem in the world…then activaly get yourself involved. THAT is when change occurs. Not sitting on facebook and posting a bunch of horrible pictures than going off to work and going on with your day. If you think you are actually bringing attention to the subject….you are wrong. If people do not already know about child/ animal abuse then they are either amish or have been raised by wolves. EVERYONE knows this is happening in the world. If you are passionate about it….then make it your passion to get involved on these issues. It’s like that Sarah Mclachlan commercial that EVERYONE has seen. It just makes you sad! My wish is that we lived in a world that these things didn’t happen.

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As far as the folks that get on facebook and let you know that they are deleting people off their facebook, so you better let them know right now if you want to stay. Can I just ask someone to explain this madness to me, because I don’t get it. If you want to delete people off your facebook, why feel the need to tell everyone you are doing it? I really don’t get it. It seems to me that you must be feeling sad and needing some attention, and you want folks to say “please don’t delete me.” I get it….everyone wants to feel loved. I get super butt hurt when people don’t like my shit on facebook. It’s true….I’m that person! I’m funny dammitt!!! Actually I’m not….most people just don’t understand my sense of humor. They don’t get me ya know. Anyway….I do not delete people off of facebook. If they don’t want to be on my facebook, they can delete themselves. Β I am not taking time to delete people. But if I did…I certainly am not going to announce it to everyone. I have officially only deleted a person once, and I am not going to get into the reasons why. I am not going to lie, I have blocked a few from my status feed, but that is only because I really can not take the constant flow of abuse pictures that were being posted, and a few other things. Yes…I am purposely being vague. πŸ™‚

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Anyway…..I want to finish up this insanely long blog post with…can’t we all just get along!!! Isn’t that what facebook is about? Socializing. We live in a technologically inclined time. Everything we do involves technology of some sort….except pooping. That is still done the old fashioned way.

 

Also….I have NO room to talk. I post the weirdest shit on Facebook! So here is my public apology to all the folks that have to endure my weird ass posts. Like this one…..

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18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Fearless Leader
    Jan 28, 2014 @ 09:44:16

    Your Guard Dawg looks almost as vicious as Lou Lou the Ferocious Feline.

    BTW…nice weaponry you have there. Pity if it should be confiscated.

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jan 28, 2014 @ 10:41:18

      Fearless Leader…..I know,,,,I have to protect myself ya know. You can never be to careful. Those damn carpet cleaning people that always want to clean my carpet in the middle of the day!!! Well…..they are going to end up with a foam bullet in their ass if they are not careful!!!;)

      Reply

  2. El Guapo
    Jan 28, 2014 @ 10:12:47

    Actually, I’m sitting here smugger than ever, because I’m not on facebook. πŸ˜€

    Ok, love to stay and chat, but I have to go check out my twitter feed.

    Reply

    • Fearless Leader
      Jan 28, 2014 @ 10:33:15

      I took you for more of a Google+ Guy, El Guapo. πŸ™‚

      Reply

    • Vagina
      Jan 28, 2014 @ 10:46:59

      hahaha….El Guapo, I have a Twitter and have NO clue how to use it. If someone actually tried to talk to me on Twitter, i would never know how to respond. I just can’t figure it out. I am officially an idiot…so that could be part of it. I’m not kidding when i tell you this….I actually tried to watch a youtube tutorial on how to do twitter, and I still didn’t get it!! I figure Facebook is like the Walmart of the internet, and twitter is more like Target. Not as many buttcracks floating around on Twitter, My problem is I talk way too much for twitter. They don’t want to hear a whole story about your day. I can’t figure out how to tell everyone exactly what i had for dinner in less than 140 characters!! I’m just not that talented.

      Reply

      • El Guapo
        Jan 28, 2014 @ 10:50:12

        I’m guilty of massacring grammer spelling and punctuation on twitter.

        but it’s fun! Best mish mash of puns, dick jokes and inspirational sayings ever.

  3. dribbles and grits
    Jan 28, 2014 @ 11:53:36

    I’m with you on the animal/child abuse pictures… and not just those. The pictures of horrific deformities, or like really sick babies, that are like, “Like for one prayer.” I’m like really? I’m sitting here listening to Pharrell’s Happy song. I’m snapping my fingers. I’m dancing. I’m laughing at the some ecard someone posted about babies and wine, and then I see a picture of a kid missing half her face, covered in blood, like seriously? Buzz kill. I don’t come on facebook to get depressed. If I wanted to get depressed, I’d clean my house.

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jan 28, 2014 @ 18:40:38

      Seriously….your comment made me laugh so much….then in felt weird laughing about it, because I was all like…should I not laugh at the idea of a kid with half a face and blood and whatever….but I can’t help it. The way you put that is hilarious!! and I COMPLETELY agree with you. Someone posted a picture once of a guy breaking a little 4 yr. old girls leg by stomping on it. I’m like WHAT THE FUCK!!!! Not only am i wondering who the hell is taking that picture….but why is it on facebook!!!

      Reply

  4. Joy in Comfytown
    Jan 28, 2014 @ 13:55:56

    Vent it out sister!

    Reply

  5. REDdog
    Jan 29, 2014 @ 23:20:06

    I missed you, you ranty, beautiful heart you!

    Reply

  6. Lisa
    Feb 11, 2014 @ 06:55:47

    “It’s like that Sarah Mclachlan commercial”. HA! Do people really do that? WHY would they do that??? I don’t have facebook so I am ignorant to the insanity! I think I may be the last remaining facebook holdout in America. And now I’ve been holding out for so long that it makes absolutely no sense to me. I look at a facebook page and I’m just baffled. I think I missed my window. I love your video! I love “I don’t know if they’re Mormon!” πŸ™‚ I loves me a good Mormon joke and maybe one day I’ll tell you why πŸ˜‰ Sorry for being MIA! It’s been insane around here! And I don’t like to comment until I’ve experienced the entire Vagina post. Sometimes I just rush ahead to the video when I don’t have time, and then it takes me forever to get back and read the post because I live with THESE people! But for some reason the baby is sleeping late and the kids are on the bus, so it’s vagina time!!!! πŸ™‚

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Feb 11, 2014 @ 09:02:17

      hahaha…YAAAAY! So glad you were able to come by. I love me some Mormon also. πŸ˜‰ All my greatest friends are Mormon. They seem to have the BEST sense of humor. I grew up Catholic so…most of my catholic friends seem to be missing the sense of humor. πŸ˜‰ Sorry Catholic friends….but it’s true! I even went to a Catholic school with nuns and priests and all that jazz. I mean….it wasn’t jazzy by any means…..but you know what I’m sayin!! At this point I probably wouldn’t even have a facebook if it wasn’t for the blog. I keep a page open for the blog….but anytime I post anything on my personal page…crickets!! All I hear is crickets!!! Must be because most of them are catholic. πŸ˜‰ kidding…only kidding….not really though! I LOVE YOU LISA!!!!

      Reply

    • Vagina
      Feb 11, 2014 @ 09:02:56

      Sorry I yelled that last part at you…..I couldn’t help it! I LOVE YOU!!! ❀ πŸ˜‰

      Reply

  7. Lisa
    Feb 11, 2014 @ 12:30:22

    I LOVE YOU TOO! I grew up Catholic as well and that bunch is definitely NOT funny, as you pointed out πŸ˜‰ Guess where I ended up? HAHA! Crazy, right? I do sometimes feel like the black sheep, and it does get hard to hang sometimes, but hey, I do my best! He loves His little black sheep too πŸ™‚ I have some Vagina to catch up on here! I WILL read all new Vagina posts by the end of the day or my name’s not Sister Eggers!!!!! I’ll be back as soon as I can carve another 10 minutes out of my day, so be ready for my usual long-ass commentary!!! xoxoxoxo

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Feb 12, 2014 @ 09:24:20

      I’ll be right here……I’m not leaving……not until I see a long ass commentary!!!! I might have to take a pee break….but then i’m coming right back!!!!!!! I will wait for you my love…..;) πŸ˜‰

      Reply

  8. Lisa
    Feb 12, 2014 @ 16:38:52

    HAHA oh man, I am the worst!!! I WILL be back tonight!!!!!!!! These kids HAVE to sleep sometime, right??? RIGHT??????

    Reply

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LOUISE ALLAN

writer & author

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