Brother Husbands…no I don’t think so…

Let me start by saying anyone can do whatever the hell they want to. If you want to have 10 wives, or 10 husbands, have at it.  I have watched the show sister wives before, and I am not going to lie to you… I think the dude in that show is a Schmo. Maybe that is not right for me to judge….. but the show I happened to be watching was the one where his wife asked him how he would feel if she wanted more husbands and his response was so friggin ridiculous. He said: “It’s just not something I’m comfortable imagining,” he told her. “The vulgarity of you with two husbands or another lover sickens me.”


Real nice! I wonder what his wives are thinking when he is spending the night with one of the wives and the other ones have to sleep alone. I wonder if they are at all “sickened” by it… or think it is “vulgar.” He wants acceptance for his belief, but acts as if it is such a crazy idea, one woman and multiple men, yet there are some cultures where women marry more than one man, and it is their belief system. Though these cultures may be few, by saying it is vulgar, he is inadvertently calling those tribes barbaric and vulgar because it isn’t part of his belief. How can a close-minded individual expect the world to be open-minded about his beliefs when he constantly offends the beliefs of others?


AHHH the hypocrisy of it all!! Anywho…. I have a list for you. This is MY list of why I could NEVER have my own tribe of brother husbands. ONE dude is enough for this lady!~


1 – The indescribable amount of dirty socks that would be piled up right NEXT to the laundry basket and not IN the laundry basket!!! The mound would be excessive by any standards of decent living.



2 – Can you imagine the fights for the remote control? It would be like attending a lion territorial fight in the middle of the African desert. 



3 – I would have to make a recording of my voice saying “Put out the garbage bin… it’s garbage night.” There is NO WAY I am going to repeat myself 10 million and 2 times saying that. Ahh who am I kidding… I already say it 10 million and 3 times and I have one husband. 



4 – The amount of times I would get asked “Is dinner ready?” would make me go insane! NOTHING!!! Do you people hear me? There is NOTHING for your damn dinner!!!! 



5 – The toilets!!!! I don’t really think I need to elaborate on this one. Okay…. I’ll elaborate! The pissing thing…. and the toilet seat thing!!!! With a bunch of dudes hanging around… that toilet would be a NIGHTMARE!!! 




6 – I wouldn’t be able to bend over anywhere in the house. With all those dudes hanging around, for certain I would end up getting poked every time I had to pick up a toy, or sock off the floor. Sorry if that one went too far… but can we just get real here please! Think about it!!




7 – Behind closed doors I imagine you would get a lot of “I’m the biggest aren’t I??” “Mine is the biggest and scariest isn’t it?” Side note- what is it with wanting to be the biggest and scariest??? Someone please explain this to me. Your junk is not the Kraken guys!!!




8 – Sorry to the folks that will be offended by this one… number 8 reason brother husbands would suck at a massive level of suckage>>>>> BlOW JOBS<<<<<< see what I did there??;;;;( Massive level of suckage)…get it??…suckage….massive level…okay never mind!! Don’t even act like you don’t know what I am talking about! 



And that’s all I got right now.  BUT I do have another video for you. My mom and I went shopping and I figure I would let you all see exactly what that is like. ;)~




18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Joy Christi
    Jan 21, 2014 @ 10:24:59

    I live with my 18 YO son and my husband, and just THAT amount of whiskers in the sink has caused me to post and Tweet several times that Brother Husbands will never be a thing.


    • Vagina
      Jan 21, 2014 @ 10:29:16

      hahahaha….YES!!! So much YES!!! My son is only 8….but the PEE!!!! The friggin pee. Not only do they ALWAYS miss the laundry basket with their socks……they miss the toilet bowl with their pee!!!! WHY?????


  2. daysofmyblackdog
    Jan 21, 2014 @ 13:25:01

    oh hell yes. you nailed it with this one!


  3. Fearless Leader
    Jan 21, 2014 @ 18:26:57

    I am an Old Guy, therefore I can not “stock two (or more) shelves” anymore.

    Besides, I like the shelf I stock now just fine. 🙂


    • Vagina
      Jan 22, 2014 @ 09:19:35

      You are a good man fearless! And you are a lucky man. Your wife is adorable AND she cooks. You have it made. That might be the only thing that would make Brother Husbands a good idea. If I could find a chef, then maybe….;)


  4. Lisa
    Jan 21, 2014 @ 20:39:22

    Vagina, this one is going straight to the greatest of all time list!!!! Your list kept getting funnier and funnier and the pictures too 🙂 Oh my gosh, I love you. Multiple husbands, could you imagine a worse nightmare???? Can you imagine the smell??? UGH! The Kraken, hahahahaha! And yes, please stop asking me about dinner, people! I want to be done with the dinner responsibility. Why have I been relegated to this? Oh ya, because I’m the only one home with the kids. Still. No fair. Your mom is a hoot! I also want her figure! She’s hot! Vagina, you have a hot mom! I think you were holding up my bra in one of those shots. I donated it because it got too small. SERIOUSLY! This is my life!!! That is also why I only take pictures of my head! So tell your mom that she killed it and should be introduced as a regular character. I can see where you get your hilarity from. I also want to say that I’m sorry that I stalked you all around the store in that wig and glasses and hat. I didn’t realize you had a camera. Sorry. I do it out of love!!! xoxoxo


    • Vagina
      Jan 22, 2014 @ 09:28:27

      hahahahha…. My mom is going to LOVE your compliment!! She is funny. That is one thing I will say…she makes me crazy half the time…but she has an awesome sense of humor! My favorite thing ever….” Vagina, you have a hot mom!” That has got to be the funniest comment ever!!! It can be used in so many different ways too. 😉 The video was fun to make. People were staring at us like we were crazy. That was all real though. My mom shops like that ALL the damn time. She LOVES Goodwill.

      I want to be DONE with dinner responsibility too!!! I can’t even cook and these people are still asking me what’s for dinner?? It’s like….have I ever actually made anything that really is edible before???.. NO…so why do you keep asking me to cook??? 😉 when are they going to learn. I need to show you a picture of the frozen mozzarella sticks I tried to make in the oven. I know it seems almost impossible to ruin frozen mozzarella sticks….but i figured out how to do it. 😉 I will have to post the picture on the next post just so you could see how bad my cooking skills really are.


  5. List of X
    Jan 21, 2014 @ 23:50:13

    I think you could actually manage a few husbands. Men are competitive creatures – get them to compete, and you’ll win. For example. you could institute a point system – point for putting the toilet seat down, two for putting the clean toilet seat down, three for taking out garbage, four for doing the dishes. And then, in the end of the day, whichever husband gets the most points, gets to hear the magic words “Yes, yours is the biggest and the scariest.”


    • Vagina
      Jan 22, 2014 @ 09:31:46

      hahahaha…. List…You are a GENIUS!!! This could work!! I was telling Fearless Leader from the comment below that the one thing that might make brother husbands worth it….would be if I could find one that cooks. A chef!! That might make it worth all the other stuff. And the point system is great…but let’s be real okay….the one with the most points is going to want the BJ!!! 😉 😉


    • El Guapo
      Jan 22, 2014 @ 11:46:11

      Or she could just oil up the more boy-toyish of them, and let them fight for her attention!
      In loincloths!


  6. El Guapo
    Jan 22, 2014 @ 11:47:51

    There’s one overriding reason I don;t want more than one wife – I couldn’t marry someone my current wife didn’t approve of.
    Which means they’d be friends.
    And talk about me.
    And take each others sides.

    It would be like being an alien visitor on the planet of women.


    • Vagina
      Jan 22, 2014 @ 16:01:56

      hahahah… Yes!!!! I can see that happening. Especially if you bought a gift for one….and not the other…..Oh boy, that could be an ugly situation. You would need an unlimited supply of chocolate on hand. 😉 Thanks for stopping in El Guapo. I found your blog and have been reading your genius!!


      • El Guapo
        Jan 23, 2014 @ 09:23:01

        ha! Yes!
        Wait – you mean chocolate for them?

        Thank you! but I’m sure whatever you read was the height of my ability, and it’s only downhill from there.

    Jan 29, 2014 @ 02:17:14

    Yes, one husband is more than enough. Can you imagine how hard it would be to cope with multiple men ” MAN-suating” all at once? And they do have their version of PMS! Number 8 would really suck, but it would suck more if you had a bunch of brother husband’s, and they all thought porn sex was awesome. No the only way it would work is if they are All well trained in the domestic arts. Nothing is more sexy than hubby doing the dishes.

    I feel really sorry for the women who share one man. What a lonely bitchy existence. One man can not fully satisfy mulitable women. I would hate to be him when those girls all synchronize their cycles. Lol


    • Vagina
      Jan 29, 2014 @ 08:49:19

      hahahahah…Best comment ever!!!! and I completely agree!! I also feel like how is it possible for him to not favor, or get along better with one. All marriages go through tough times, so instead of working through them….he can just go hang out with another wife. I don’t know….it just seems like a flawed system to me.


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