Have you ever been in a room with a bunch of kids and thought to yourself… is this a group of kids… or a pack of wild animals? I have had that thought more times than I can tell you. I have 4 kids…. so I have my very OWN pack of wild animals. Anyway, this got me thinking about comparisons. If you actually think about it… when it comes to kids, there are so many comparisons to other things that you can make. I started to write out a list…. and the list just kept going and going. There really are so many things that can be mistaken as children.
Like for instance babies and dogs! We put them both in cages because there is always that chance that they are going to take off when you aren’t looking. They sit there and look at you with big eyes like please don’t leave me in here. You talk to them in a high pitched stupid voice and say things that don’t make sense. Babies and dogs look at you like you are an idiot because they have NO clue what you are saying to them. Then other people stare at you like you’re the freak, as if they’ve never done it before. Dogs and children poop at the most inconvient times EVER. They embaress you in public by attracting unwanted attention due to loud screaming/barking. They often stink and can be extremely naughty. They both have squeeky toys that you will for sure end up stepping on in the middle of the night. They DO NOT clean up after themselves, and they both have puked on my carpet. And yet, after all the times you think you are crazy for having one, you always want another.
Little boys and dinosaurs!~ Not to generalize little boys, because I do believe that little girls can also be compared to dinosaurs. I am just speaking from experience with my little boy. The comparisons here are almost identical. Have you ever seen a little boy eat? Then you know EXACTLY how a velociraptor looked when it would eat. They both attack their food. Not just eat it… but kill it. You know, mangle it to death. Half the food ends up on the floor, and the other half on top of their head. They both make the most awful noises. Seriously, the screeches and shrieks and growls that come from my little boy is probably what killed the dinosaurs off!!! They both have a tendency to bite. You have to watch your fingers around them. Neither one likes to brush their teeth or take a bath….. And like the babies and dogs…. they both can and do often stink!
Little girls and kitties!~ Again… I do not want to generalize all girls. I have 3 girls and I am speaking from experience with my littlest one. She is the one that has a tendency to be very much like a kitty. When it comes to little girls and kitties, you can be hugging them and snuggling with them, having a fun time, not knowing that any moment, they will change and attack. They do that little stalk thing, and then when you least expect it… they pounce. Then you turn around and look at them and they are staring at you like they did NOTHING!! Looking at you like YOU are the one with the problem… even though they just scratched out your eyeballs. They also both have the ” you are THE MOST stupid person on the planet and how can you possibly wear that outfit in public” look! They will flash you the “look” and you just know that you suck. They also can be fluffy and cute and cuddly!
8 yr. olds and 80 yr. olds!~ Let’s face it… they both are missing filters. I have never met an 8 yr. old or an 80 yr. old that has a filter.
-Things you might possibly hear from and 8 yr. old would be…. “I farted and it smells like tacos!”… “My poop is runny!”… “Something smells weird on my hand!”… “You’re funny looking.”… “STOP IT! I CAN DO IT! I can do it by myself!”… “I want to drive. I know how.”… “Tie my shoes!”… (Loud for everyone to hear) “I don’t like that person!”…
-Things you might possibly hear from an 80 yr. old would be…. “I farted and it smells like tacos!”… “My poop is runny!”… “Something smells weird on my hand!”… “You’re funny looking.”… “STOP IT! I CAN DO IT! I can do it by myself!”… “I want to drive. I know how.”… “Tie my shoes!”… (Loud for everyone to hear) “I don’t like that person!”… And let’s be honest… No 8 yr. old OR 80 yr. Old EVER flushes the damn toilet!!
Drunks and Toddlers!~ So many comparisons here it is almost scary. They both are slobbery, and almost always have food dribbled on their clothes. Often poop and pee in their pants and when they actually make it to a toilet, they never really make it IN the toilet. It usually ends up on the floor or wall or on the cat. You can never understand what they are saying to you. Unless of course you are also drunk… or a toddler. They are always running into things from the lack of paying attention. They both are really bad at dressing themselves, and UN dressing themselves. Sometimes they give up on the clothes thing altogether, and will just run around naked. They will literally fall asleep anywhere but in their own bed! Places like a shopping cart, the front yard, the side of the road. And in the end, all they really want is a friend… Oh, wait no, that’s just the alcoholic. All my kids really want is spongebob, cookies, and for our chihuahua to play dress up with them….
So there you have it!! All the things that can be mistaken for a child. If you have any ideas of what can be mistaken for a child….put it in the comments. I LOVE to read what you all think. Guess what???…I made a video for you! Cuz I Love ya! ❤