“Ooops…my balls fell out…”

It is summertime. There are things I LOVE about summer, and then things I do not love about summer. One of those things that may not be my favorite is the boredom factor of my children. I get a lot of that “I’m bored, there’s nothing to do” crap. As I am sure all of you fellow moms have heard at least 5 million times already. I have the backyard pool set up and then of course there is the trampoline, and there is their bikes, and they always have outside…with the sunshine. But I understand…they are bored! Anyway, this post isn’t about my children’s boredom. One of the things that I LOVE about summer is the time that we have to just sit around and do nothing. Which ultimately is the reason for my children’s boredom, but the very thing I LOVE about summer. I love not having full schedules of having to be places on time…because I am allergic to being places on time. I am one of those people…it’s really hard for me. I know that one day my children will come to appreciate the boredom. They will long for the days when they had nothing to do but enjoy having nothing to do. But until that day comes…there will be a lot of “I’m boreds”. With summer come’s staying up later, and sleeping in longer. Something I am perfectly okay with. This is me embracing the lazy girl that lives within me. We are BFF’s…me and the lazy girl that is me. ( I hope that made some shred of sense.) The other night, 2 of my daughters and I were having  just one of those wonderful summer evenings. It was late, the little ones were in bed, the husband was in bed, and the 2 oldest girls and I were up just chatting away the night. I love evenings like this because all kinds of fun subjects come up. We talk about everything. I have always tried very hard to keep communication open with my kids. I want them to know that they can tell me ANYTHING and I will not freak out on them. No matter what it is. I might be freaking out on the inside, but trying to stay calm on the outside.  I have said to them even if I do not like what they tell me, or agree with what they are telling…I still want them to feel comfortable enough to come to me about anything. I believe strongly in open communication because how will I ever be able to help them if they don’t even feel like they can be honest with me. I prefer them to tell me, rather than not talk to me about what is going on in their head or in their life. So let me start by saying I was a pre-teen girl…so I get it. I really do. When you’re the mom in the pre-teen scenario…things change though. You are coming at it from a different place now. I am looking at my little girl, who is now growing into a woman. There is that bittersweet aspect that comes in. I don’t want her to grow up, yet at the same time am enjoying this beautiful young girl she is becoming. Side note- NOT enjoying the pre-teen attitude AT ALL though! See…I remember starting my period. My mom was like…” eh…throw this pad in your underwear and you’ll be fine.” That was it! She didn’t even give me a complimentary Hershey bar with it. I decided when my daughter starts her period, I was going to be all Super Mom and come in with my cape on…a bag of chocolate, and ready to teach her all about life. butttt… I was not so ready for the actual moment when my first daughter started hers. I knew we might be getting close to the time when nipples starting popping out and she told me curly hair is starting to grow on her hoohaw. I had talked to her about periods, and told her kind of what to expect, but nothing really prepares you for the real moment of “Mom…I have blood in my underwear.” It’s a weird moment. I wanted to cry, and had some weird stuff happening. The feeling of  losing my “baby” and yet wanting to be here and help her and have her follow my lead so she isn’t scared. My oldest daughter started her period smack dab in the middle of Walmart! Yep. I couldn’t make that up if I wanted to folks. What better place to start your period anyway, I mean….you’ve got lots of choices here….pads, or tampons..or even adult diapers if you want to go that route….plus you can grab some ibuprofin if needed….and then be sure and hit the chocolate aisle. So by the time my second daughter started..I was a little more prepared. I explained the deal to her, and it seemed like it went a little smoother. Not a lot smoother but a little. Anyway, so the other night the girls and I are chatting it up about this and that, and friends, and school, and boys, and all other kinds of things going on in a pre-teen girls life. My oldest daughter was chatting about her high school days, and my 12 yr. old comes in with… “I have a question?”

 

Me: “Okay…ask away?”

 

The 12 yr. old:-“So when I was in school, they were teaching us about puberty and all the stuff that is going to change in our bodies, and they were talking about boys having balls. They said that when their balls drop, that is when puberty starts. So I think that is gross, and what do they do with their balls after they drop? Do they have to throw them in the garbage? What if they fall out of their underwear?”

 

ME:
queen

Uhhhhhhh………O.O……..ummmm………O.o………..Uhhhhhhhh……

 
And then it hits. My older daughter is rolling on the floor in laughter, and I couldn’t help it either. My sweet 12 yr. old is asking me what boys do with their balls after they drop. I explained as best as I could about the ball situation. My oldest started with the jokes….

 

justinballeddropped

“So what if you were standing behind some kid in the lunch line and his balls fell out and you stepped on them.”~

 

spongebob

 “Have you seen random balls in garbage cans lately?”~

 

galilleo

” That must be what the hole in boy’s underwear is for…so the balls can just fall out after they “drop”.”~

 

dropped

The 12 yr. old- ” I hope I have never stepped on someones balls before and not known it because ewww.”~

 

poop

” I bet they could use them to play golf with after they “drop” out.”

 

great-golf-ball-drop

Side Note – This is the child that informed me of the proper way to open deodorant. Yep….I have been doing it wrong for over 25 plus years. She comes in while I am clawing at the plastic thing on the top of the new deodorant and I can’t get the damn thing off, and she says “Check it out Mom….if you roll the dial at the bottom..it just easily comes right off.” Sure enough! …Summer just doesn’t get better than this folks!

 

New_Year_2013_Ball_Drop

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21 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Fresh Ginger
    Jul 23, 2013 @ 11:23:42

    My four year old son had a little self exploration moment in the bathtub the other day and immediately asked me what the round things were by his weiner. I bluntly told him “balls” … he looked down and asked me what color they were. Hmmm. I started to say “blue” and thought better of it. I replied “skin color.” I think he was a little disappointed they weren’t like the toys in his room or Spiderman or something more interesting. Then, I referred all further questions to Daddy because I had to leave the room laughing, tears streaming down my face. blahahahahahaaaa

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 23, 2013 @ 11:33:47

      hahahaha….That is hilarious!!! I have an 8 yr. old boy and last year he started getting ” boners”. He was always having his hand on it, and I’m like…” dude…you gotta stop with that.” He said it felt weird and he was trying to push it back down. I told the husband boners is his department and he needs to deal with it. I think no matter what age they are….they do think of them like a spiderman toy. They always have it right there when they get bored. O.O Thanks for your comment. I spit out my coffee laughing….Lol

      Reply

  2. apleasanthouse
    Jul 23, 2013 @ 11:34:52

    The old Mother-tells-daughter- about- her- period conversation. My mother didn’t want me to use tampons (her Catholic upbringing coming to rescue/failure once again). And I schooled my daughter to the point of, “For the love of GOD mother- I GET IT!”. Aaahhhh, the memories.

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 23, 2013 @ 11:37:04

      hahahah… I seriously LOVE you!!! I too had the “catholic” upbringing of only wear pads. My mom was always freaking out that I was going to get shock toxic syndrome or some weird thing from tampons.

      Reply

  3. Trackback: “Ooops…my balls fell out…” | Caffeine Jitters
  4. lisaeggs
    Jul 25, 2013 @ 18:38:49

    This is probably an amazing frickin post but my kids need to go to bed sometime this summer so that I can sit down and read the thing!!! I’ll be back to give this a proper once over and of course throw in my two cents, hopefully tonight!!! xoxoxo

    Reply

  5. lisaeggs
    Jul 25, 2013 @ 21:09:15

    Vagina, I’m back and ready to party!!! You and I have mirror image backyards! Such a shame that we were separated at birth but glad we finally reconnected through your blog! I’m not quite at the period-talk-stage of motherhood yet, but with my daughter I know it will be the most dramatic period any female has ever had. As for myself, I just remember waking up in the morning and knowing something was up, and when I confirmed my suspicions I got queasy and fell out of bed with my knickers around my knees and my mom came in and awkwardly tried to handle the situation and told me I could stay home from school, which I did, and watched Ricki Lake and Sally Jesse and wondered if I could talk my mom into one more day off (I didn’t get it). Ah, period, such fun and such memories! As for balls dropping, I didn’t even know anything about that!!! Thanks for giving this mother of two boys a frickin heads up because I am apparently clueless!!! xoxoxo

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 26, 2013 @ 19:39:55

      Lisa, Yes…we were definitely separated at birth!! I’m sure of it. AND you win for a super cool period story. Having Ricki Lake, and Sally Jesse to be a part of that day makes you awesome. Lol My mom was much more like ” get over it” with me. My 2nd daughter was as drama queen as you can get about it. She still is so dramatic about the whole thing every time she gets a cramp. The funny thing is I really didn’t know the whole situation about the dropping balls either. I had to ask my husband about it. My son is 8 yrs. old and so we haven’t actually talked about balls yet. I don’t think I want to have that conversation with him….I’m leaving that for my husband. Lol eeek…

      Reply

      • lisaeggs
        Jul 27, 2013 @ 20:29:29

        I brought the subject up with the hubbie and even HE didn’t know about the dropping of balls!!! So I guess others are in the dark on this subject as well! Good for you, Vagina, for bringing it to the forefront for discussion! I have an 8 year old son too but he’s mum on the subject so I don’t know what’s going on with him in that department, oh well, not my area of expertise, clearly!!! xoxoxo

  6. Jenna P
    Jul 26, 2013 @ 12:06:19

    I am cracking up over here! My son is 4 years old and yesterday he woke up with a boner. I noticed and tried to delay potty time, which didn’t work. He pulls down his underwear, looks at it, and then asks me what it is. I am a single (widowed) mommy and had to think on my feet. “Um, it’s something that happens to little boys sometimes. It is okay, it will go away in a minute”. It satisfied him until I heard him yell from the bathroom “Mommy, it is hard to pee-pee! I keep pee-peeing on the wall!!!!!”

    They were spending the night at my parents last night so I gave Pop Pop Joe the rundown and asked if he could help with questions that may arise (no pun intended…). Of course, no further questions!

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 26, 2013 @ 19:47:49

      I LOVE this comment. My son is 8 and he has been getting “boners” since he was about 4. He wouldn’t take his hands off of it. Seriously always having his hands down his pants. He said when it grows it feels weird so he is trying to push it back down. O.O

      Reply

  7. Trackback: Call me Nuts: 1984′s Footloose impact and message over time. Part 2 | 38YEARS
  8. ComfyTown Chronicles (@ComfyTownChroni)
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 20:59:54

    hahahahhaha OMG those pictures are freaking HYSTERICAL!
    FYI: My last post had a nekked picture of Spongebob. I swear to blog. I’m prepared to prove it.

    Reply

  9. mychillthoughts
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 22:41:35

    Thanks for joining the Tattler Thursday Blog Hop last week! This week’s hop is live now…hope you’ll join us again!

    http://www.mychillthoughts.com/2013/08/hosting-tattler-thursday-14.html

    -Cristyl @ CHill Thoughts

    Reply

  10. A Morning Grouch
    Aug 20, 2013 @ 18:12:55

    Hah! You’ll be able to laugh about that for YEARS! She’ll love it, I’m sure.

    Reply

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