I shouldn’t post this, and you shouldn’t read it…

look away

Hey there folks! Okay….I’m ranting! Look away now if you don’t want to read a rant. How many people are so sick of the perfection game. Raise your hand if you can’t read another post on Facebook about someone’s perfect life, or read another article about how to be a better wife, mom, friend, and still get dinner on the table by 6:00 o’clock. I still do not understand how these people actually think anyone believes them. Hey…”perfect” people…everyone knows you’re NOT! You have no one fooled at all. 100% of people can see through your “perfect” facebook shit, and your perfect “my life is better than yours” bullshit. How about this…..everyone has the right life that is exactly perfect for them. That’s it! And if more people would stop with the “perfect” facade, then it would be much easier to connect on a human level. Especially mom’s. It’s a hard job raising decent people for society. We have a lot of people judging the way we do it. You have the folks that don’t have kids yet, and always say, “when I have kids I wouldn’t let them act like that.” …Oh really ?…um, be careful what you say in front of other people because that shit is coming back to haunt you! I always enjoy the ones in the store that judge you even though they are looking at a snap shot of a situation. Look, just like grown up people…little people have shitty days too. Well…sometimes those shitty days coincide with your shopping trip and as you are walking through the store trying to get your groceries, your kid is having a melt down. I love it when I either get the “you should beat that kid” look…or the “what did you do to that kid?” look. How about NOTHING!!! They are just being shitty today. Maybe they were up most of the night  because they had a nightmare and pretty much got NO sleep which meant I got NO sleep which put us both in really crappy moods, yet we still had to go to the store because life does not stop just because I didn’t get any sleep. It always makes me wonder about someone when they say they hate kids. OKay listen…I’m not judging anyone here….some people do not want kids, or just don’t like kids and that is their choice. Just take a second though and remember that you were one! and somebody somewhere hated you too just because you were too short to reach shit and you acted like a crazy person. (all kids are crazy, all percent of the time)… Then you grew up, learned some self control, and now you hate kids. OKay!! As a mom….I have to raise these people with morals, and values, and make sure they never make bad choices, (because according to society it is MY fault if they make bad choices and do bad things.) Well that’s great but when does their personality and who they are come into play here. When is it considered the time for a person to stop looking at what their parents did or did not do and start taking responsibility for themselves? One of the most widely used statements that annoys the friggin crap out of me is “kids today are so much worse than they used to be.” Okay…stop for just a damn minute and think about what a stupid idea that is. It’s funny when people say this because it’s absolutely untrue on every level. Since the beginning of time, there has been shitty people. If you look back through history…people have been killing each other and doing shitty things since forever. There was never a time in history that the world was super safe and people were just all nice all the time. There have always been wars, and have always been crazy people doing crazy things. NO different than now. There is always hope for a better tomorrow, but let’s be real shall we.  My grandmother always said…kids today are so bad, but I guarantee her grandmother said the same thing to her and her grandmother to her… And so on and so on. Because we grow up and WE mature and all of a sudden start to act like normal people and forget the stupid shit we were doing when we were 12. So we say….oh kids today are so bad. It’s just not true. They are no worse than they have ever been. A 12 year old acts like a fucking 12 year old. What makes them different is their personality. It has NOTHING to do with the time we live in. Guess what…when I was kid, my grandmother thought we were so spoiled because we had record players. They were new age things that kids shouldn’t have, in her opinion. When she was young…..her grandmother would have never thought it was proper to drive an automobile. She believed that kids were spoiled with all that new age automobile crap. I had a woman tell me that the reason kids are so bad today is because people don’t beat them anymore. My response to that was: How the fuck do you know if people are or are not beating their kids? and secondly…how the fuck do you even remotely think that beating someone is making them good? This “theory” makes no sense to me. There are still a wide range of folks that believe in that way of discipline. Just look at facebook!! O.O It’s just a ridiculous notion to think that one way is the way for everybody. We live on a big planet here and you have NO idea how other people are raising their kids. So to say “kids today are so bad” holds absolutely no validity. How can anyone know what is going on in someone else’s home? I have 4 kids, and they are all completely different. Why would I treat them exactly the same when they are NOT exactly the same people? I didn’t want to make this a post about disciplining children because I truly believe that each person has to decide on that for themselves. Whatever works for one person may not work for another, but DO NOT look at me in a store because my kid is having a friggin moment like I need to beat my kid! Because then I will look at you like FUCK YOU!!! okay…so rant over…..bring on the comments!! Let’s do this…

 

I recently read an AMAZING post that Lucy’s Football wrote about Mr. Rogers here!  While I was reading and commenting on this post, a fellow blogger Neuronotes- link here,  left these comments which embody exactly what I am trying to say….or rant about! Check it out…

 

“I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on
frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond
words… When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and
respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise
[disrespectful] and impatient of restraint”
~Hesiod, 8th century BC

“What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders,
they disobey their parents. They ignore the law.
They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions.
Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?”
~Plato, 5th century BC

“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for
authority, they show disrespect to their elders…. They no longer
rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents,
chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their
legs, and are tyrants over their teachers.”
~Socrates, 5th century BC

“The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of
today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for
parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as
if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is
foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest
and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress.”
~Peter the Hermit, 13th Century AD

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27 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Claudia Bette
    Jul 02, 2013 @ 13:46:39

    Oh boy do I LOVE getting parenting advice from non-parents. It’s just the highlight of my day! My sister tends to do that to me but I can take it from her because, well she’s my sister and she is very involved with my son more than the average auntie, I think.

    The younger generation have always been “bad”. It’s just the way of life. For me, I sometimes think the teens that I do come across are a bit more disrepectful in general than I ever would have wanted to be, but who knows? I was a totally different person when I was 17, I could have been a little shit back then to and probably was!

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 02, 2013 @ 13:55:24

      I know exactly what you mean! It always seems to be the people without kids that like to give parenting advice. This makes NO sense!!! I don’t think anyone should be offering up advice unless someone is asking for it. Plus…every situation is different. Thanks for reading it. My next post is going to be about watching Star Trek and will probably have a pic or two of Benedict! Yes..we are on a first name basis now…;) 😉

      Reply

      • Claudia Bette
        Jul 02, 2013 @ 13:59:33

        AHA! But he let’s me call him “Ben” tee heee! I will look out for that post. I was never a “Trekkie” but I’m a geek girl so I still appreciated the movie even if it didn’t have Benedict.

  2. abrokenvagina
    Jul 02, 2013 @ 14:35:48

    I always tell my sisters, who have no kids and want to give me advice I just can not wait until they have a kid and see how hard it really is, or even just get married and see how hard that is!!!

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 02, 2013 @ 14:40:39

      I completely agree! There is nothing more frustrating than someone who hasn’t even gone through yet what they are giving you advice about. Oy!! 🙂 Thanks for your comment.

      Reply

  3. donofalltrades
    Jul 02, 2013 @ 15:37:12

    These critics are the same dicks who don’t say thanks when you hold the door open for them or give a courtesy wave when you let them over in traffic.

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 02, 2013 @ 16:59:23

      YES!!!! I do believe you are right donofalltrades! It’s the same dickwads!! 😉 They also are the ones that see you running for the elevator and won’t stop the door for you but instead just look away…

      Reply

  4. stephrogers
    Jul 03, 2013 @ 03:50:23

    Here here! I couldn’t agree more! My kids muck up at the store all the time. Especially my youngest. He has a fear of crowds and shops and so every trip he is screaming like he is on fire and trying to climb me and hide in the nape of my neck. The critical stares and unsolicited advice is terrible.

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 03, 2013 @ 11:32:52

      ” he is screaming like he is on fire!”….I spit out my coffee reading that! I LOVE it!! My kids do the same. If I could scream through Walmart, I would too. I am definitely screaming inside!!

      Reply

  5. Criss
    Jul 07, 2013 @ 00:31:48

    I hear you…….I have 3 kids and they are completely DIFFERENT…..yet all have the same mummy and daddy and the same rules and the same LOVE. Fuck “them”. If your kids woke up this morning, got dressed, and made it till bed time, you did a good job! At the end of the day, when you are old, you will have someone who will love you and look out for you……the child haters will have no one but strangers. So PERFECT don’t you think? Kids will be Kids. I work in a supermarket and when I see a screaming child, I almost laugh. I feel a kindred spirit, a bond of yes I know how you feel towards the parent. I don’t judge. I know that parent is wanting to hide from the world right now, and probably scream their head off right back at the kid, but that will cause a whole other ‘LOOK’ of distaste from the PERFECT “THEM”.

    If your kids love you, and are happy….YOU ARE A PERFECT PARENT. There I said so, and I AM ALWAYS, MOSTLY, RIGHT!

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 07, 2013 @ 11:40:00

      I LOVE LOVE YOU!!!!! Everything you said is TRUE!!! My favorite ” If your kids woke up this morning, got dressed, and made it till bed time, you did a good job! ‘..YES! You should be famous for that statement! I feel the same. We all are just doing the best we can anyway. And because you said so…Then I KNOW it’s true!!! 😉

      Reply

  6. juju333
    Jul 08, 2013 @ 06:58:47

    Quantifier: I do not feel I can offer the best advice… but I did raise three kids, run a day care and was a foster mom for troubled teens. Plus a crisis counselor and social worker.

    So, we all have a responsibility to all of the children. If I say something to a mom or dad with little ones it is a note of I understand, this too shall pass. However, I love to offer praise more often when I “catch” kids being good or a family really connecting together. Trust me I would have loved to have a few of those when I was out there with the kid having a “shitty day.”

    BUT, I do feel that we all need to step up and speak up when we witness a child being abused. I once witnessed a woman punch her kid in the head. And when I said something she told me it was none of my business. I told her it was, as a matter of fact, it was everyone in the store’s business. She continued to try to tell me to mind my own business. I only repeated my first comment. “Please don’t punch your child in the head.” And smiled at her. I have prayed for that little girl every day of my life. This mother was not having a shitty day but creating a hell for this child to live in.

    And yes every child is different; God made each of us unique. We all have gifts to share. When we can look at each other, and especially our children with those eyes, it is easy to be accepting and kind. I find it difficult to believe that some one could hate kids. If you look there is something there to love and appreciate.

    PS: I have read several blogs this morning and couldn’t get my mind to respond. This one hit me at my heart and I felt compelled to tell you that you connected.

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 08, 2013 @ 13:50:38

      I appreciate your comment. I agree with much of what you have said here. I do think that child abuse really takes it to a different level though. Punching a child in any circumstance is NEVER okay, and if I ever witnessed that, I don’t think I could just look away. That would be very difficult. I think witnessing a child or anybody for that matter being hurt, or bullied should cause others to step in, or at least call someone that can step in to that situation.

      Reply

  7. apleasanthouse
    Jul 08, 2013 @ 12:29:42

    I’ve actually chosen to go the other way with the ‘kids are so spoiled’ and ‘the world is worse off’ PC crapline. I think today’s generation is fabulous and the world is much the same way it has always been- full-up with grown up assholes jealous they aren’t the ones that know how to code and can’t dance anymore.

    Reply

  8. lisaeggs
    Jul 10, 2013 @ 20:49:26

    I consider it my personal mission when I’m in Target and a mom is with her little kids and they’re throwing a tantrum in the cart, and some lady turns to me and goes, “Just take them home, right?”, I just loudly say something like “Well, YOU can take them home but she probably needs to buy them milk and food and stuff and what do you care if a little kid is bored and tired and frustrated in Target anyway?” and I just CALL THEM THE FRICK OUT!!!! Because yo, little kids are difficult and like to yell and cry sometimes and it doesn’t mean that parents should hide them from the rest of society because this is TARGET people, not the Vatican, so calm the frick down. What is that quote that goes, “I was a perfect parent before I had kids” ? It applies quite often, doesn’t it? Sidenote: I was away on vacation at the Jersey Shore for a while (It fricken rocked!!!! Did a lot of running man!!!!!) so I’ve been away from the blog world for a minute, but nice to come back and have some awesome Vagina posts to greet me on my return! Love you, Heather!!!! xoxo

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 11, 2013 @ 11:11:03

      Lisa,
      You are my FAVORITE!!! “because this is Target people, and not the vatican!’…YES!!! 😉 I have to admit, I’m a tad jealous of all the running man you got to do. BUT I am so glad your back. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Reply

  9. juju333
    Jul 17, 2013 @ 09:41:26

    Hey all,

    Had to come back and let you know that just after us all discussing this I was out and about that afternoon. I pulled into a parking lot at a local store. I parked around the side, something drew me over there. I got out of my car and noticed that the car next to me was running but appeared as though no one was in it. I then noticed a purse on the front seat. Odd. I peered further in and noticed a small child asleep on the back seat. I started to walk away. But couldn’t. I called the non emergency number for the local police and reported it. I stayed on the line with the operator, telling her which way the mother exited the parking lot.

    Some times it really is OUR, the collective our, business to step in and step up to protect and help a child. This was one of those times.

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 17, 2013 @ 14:10:21

      Again I will say that this post is NOT about child abuse! I abhor child abuse!! A mom walking through the store with a cranky child that is throwing a tantrum is not always about child abuse, and it’s unfair to assume that every cranky child is being abused. That is not always the case! A child left in a car has nothing to do with what my post is about. That is a completely different situation.

      Reply

  10. juju333
    Jul 24, 2013 @ 10:10:14

    I never implied that I thought this post was about child abuse, you did. When you ranted about people giving you a hard time for a cranky kid. There is a vast difference. I just thought it was interesting and a coincidence that we were talking about these vast differences and then there it was glaring me in the face. Tough subject but nothing to get so snarky about.

    You are more than welcome to delete my comments. It is your post and I would not want to upset you.

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 24, 2013 @ 11:08:53

      haha…trust me…a comment like this does not hold that kind of power. I am not upset. Only responding to what you wrote. I don’t need to “imply” anything. I wrote what I wrote! That’s it. It’s just my thoughts. You disagree with what I wrote and that is your choice. I have 4 children, my oldest is in college. I know my children better than anybody!! I know them better than a perfect stranger in a store does. And if my kid is cranky…someone does NOT need to tell me how to handle it. Not only do they NOT know my child, they do not know the situation. Maybe I just told my kid they couldn’t have a toy. That doesn’t make me a bad parent, but my kid is having a fit and some condescending person thinks they can give me advice on something they know NOTHING about. That was the idea behind my “rant.” I am not deleting your comment because you have just as much a right to feel the way you do.

      Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 24, 2013 @ 11:15:27

      No snark intended! 🙂 Just difference of opinions. But that is what makes conversation and debate fun.

      Reply

      • Antoinette
        Jul 25, 2013 @ 12:23:23

        This was a funny post today and reminded me of something that happened between me, my hubby and my darling sister-in-law a while ago. This particular sil was the same one I had to literally keep from killing when she told me that my 3week old baby stank like puke and how could I let my baby be that dirty? I had to really control the urge to bash her head in because a) I have post natal depression so get the out of my face b) you try looking after two kids one toddler and a baby while your husband is busy all freakin day and c) I bathed her yesterday so wtf do you want? Anyway. So I was waiting for hubby to finish some work sitting on the couch chilling with my 6month old. When hubby asked me for a cup of tea. Being the totally awsome wife I am I quickly fortified the baby by putting her at the back of a couch with a wall of blanket around her tucked into the back of the couch.like a seatbelt. So I came back when I finished making the tea.gave hubby a kiss on the head and was greeted by the words “How can you just leave your child alone on a couch….blahblahfreakinblah”….I snapped. And told her what I have wanted to tell her for about two years. :“When you have kids come back to me and we’ll have this conversation again.” Those weren’t my exact words and I’m pretty sure I dounded like something out of the exorcist but she got the message… And for the first time since giving birth to my first child I felt validated. So just a fair warning to all the non-parents out there. Unless you want to babysit my kids for a weekend and get some hands on experience, keep your “well meant” andive to yourself. Your going to need all the help you can get when raising your own demon-spawn one day.

      • Vagina
        Jul 25, 2013 @ 13:30:01

        I couldn’t have said it better myself!! It’s even worse when the person giving you advice doesn’t have kids. They have NO clue what it’s like. Every situation is different. I think it’s great that you ended up saying everything you were feeling because it needed to happen. That is very freeing and probably helped you more than you even realize. Thanks for your comment.

  11. Jeannette
    Jul 28, 2013 @ 23:18:50

    I would like to thank you. You posted this on my rant about raising my son to be himself and it was just what I needed needed to read. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to hear he’s bad just because someone’s commanding him like a dog. Give him the explanation on why and you get the sweet smile and an ok mom that makes sense. He’s 4, not an idiot.

    Reply

    • Vagina
      Jul 28, 2013 @ 23:25:38

      I completely agree with you. Plus…when it comes down to it, what you want most is someone that will grow up with a strong sense of who he is. That is so important. You are doing absolutely PERFECT just the way you are doing it. He will grow up with self esteem. Something that so many children don’t have because it seems like when a child has a good self esteem people think it’s “disrespectful.” I call BULLSHIT! I would rather my kid be strong, and stand up for themselves and teach them that they are okay just as they are. Hang in there Momma…It is hard raising people, and everybody always has an opinion. Just keep doing what feels right for you and your baby. Love him fiercely!! Screw everybody else…;)

      Reply

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