So this is what it looks like?!..

This is 40! ~  Yes…that is a hilarious movie with Paul Rudd (favorite actor EVER) and Leslie Mann ( pretty much in love with her too)! I cracked up watching that movie.  It was funny, and I got it. That could be because in about 2 months, I will officially be 40. I’m scared shitless too! I can’t even imagine having a  4  in front of my age. I know that age is just a number and your only as old as you feel…blah blah blah…but I still don’t like it!! I am not ready for it. It’s a strange cross over because I still remember the 80’s like they just happened. I literally went through a can and a half of aqua net A DAY!! My hair was so high I am positive I was receiving messages from Pluto. I met the husband in 1987. I was 14! His hair was almost as high as mine…but of course he was sporting the business in the front –  party in the back look. (disclaimer) – Mullets were actually cool!…not really though. We had some serious hair…and we were very serious about our hair!  I remember just walking around the neighborhood for hours stopping at friends houses just to say hi. Hopping on the husbands first motorcycle…which was a small little yamaha that was spray painted black. I loved riding around on that thing , with our hair blowing in the wind…okay….that’s a lie….with the amount of aqua net, our hair wasn’t budging!!! It was so carefree. We used to hop on his bike and head up to the Silicon Valley Hills. It’s an overlook of Silicon Valley and absolutely GORGEOUS at night time. Or just taking off to Santa Cruz  beach on a warm summer night and hanging our legs off the pier over the ocean as it slams up against the posts and would spray us with salt water.  Nothing mattered in those moments. Just being there together. I remember many a night of heading up to the same spot in the hills with friends, and having make out sessions. The husbands first car…( a 1966 galaxy) HUGE front and back seats, also spray painted black, one couple up front and one in the back…and usually one on the hood of the car…( you know who you are) ;)! It’s weird to think about those times, we were always living in the moment. We just did what we did, never thinking too much about it, and having a great time. Life felt easy. It was like going with the flow wasn’t something I had to convince myself to do, it was just a state of mind that I naturally had.  I don’t know when I lost it. I still can not pin point the moment that worry, and stress became every day parts of my life and mind, and “going with the flow” became something I had to consciously make an effort to achieve.   Fast forward many years later, and many babies later…house payments, car payments, and all kinds of responsibility and here we are! I love the husband more than ever, and I cannot even imagine my world with out my babies in it! These days though…I struggle to be able to read the friggin dosage chart on the tylenol because the writing is so small! Or the mornings when I get up out of bed, and It takes me a minute to get feeling back in my arm because of the way I slept. Always needing to keep clariol on hand so I don’t look like a skunk!  Sneezing, coughing, laughing, or yelling at my kids… or even just talking to my kids and pissing!! Every single time…just pissing myself , because I pushed people out of my vagina so it doesn’t work correctly anymore. I haven’t officially pooped myself yet, but it’s been close….damn close…. I didn’t have these problems before. I didn’t think that my nipples would become desensitized because they had been sucked on by little people so much that they lost all feeling…(which at the time I preferred)…but I would like the feeling back now!! I am turning 40!! I want my nipples back, and my ass, and I wouldn’t mind being able to read something without having to hold it far…then near…then far again…then near…then ….Oh shit forget it!!! It’s so strange to be able to remember thinking that you could NEVER imagine being 40. WoW…that is never going to happen to me…and then boom…Here I am!  40  In all it’s glory!. Well….I am going to put on my big girl panties/ depends…and take it like a grown up…because that is what I am now right??? A grown up!  This IS 40! ~ bleh..


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. sean gray
    Mar 24, 2013 @ 12:37:14

    been there, done that. except for the vagina issues.


  2. Trackback: So this is it what it looks like?!.. | Caffeine Jitters
  3. Paula
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 11:58:49

    You r funny wonder whom some of these people r hmmm. It’s not me is it cause I was very innocent hahaha. Lol


  4. Paula
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 12:00:13

    B honest u used 2 cans of hair spray a day I had to b careful u didn’t knock me out with that


  5. Paula
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 12:02:33

    U forgot about that galaxy u wldnt get in it till I did.poor Jim had to come find me and couch me in to the car u were mad I got in. But that car has memories for all of us. Loved that car


    • hdfloyd73
      Mar 27, 2013 @ 12:06:12

      It’s funny that you remember that. It was before he spray painted it black. It was that awful faded gold color. I needed to make sure that my besty was going in first, then I would…hahaha


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