Yes…that IS me on google maps…

This happened about a year ago!

Let me set the scene for you: The other day my sister came over with her new puppy. ” hey, Let’s go for a walk,” I said. Yeah…let’s do it!! Sounds innocent enough…right!?.. Sure.  Remember we are talking about MY life….  Soo….Me, My sister, ALL the kids, and puppy decide to go for a walk. Behind my house is an open road with no houses built on it yet. Just a long bare road that is a cul de sac. We often go running, walking, taking the kids on their bikes..etc…etc… back there. It’s a great place to run because usually you never have to deal with cars driving down it or any traffic. Coats on and off we go! I had on probably the worst clothes I own. I’m talking the worst pair of sweats in my drawers adorned with the ugliest sweater that hangs in my closet! Why am I wearing this you ask? Well, along with being my worst clothes, they also happen to be the most comfortable clothes I own. So I refuse to part with them!!…even though there might be a hole……or two. Okay, basically they have no covering in the vagina area. So I am crotchless for the most part.  Although I would never wear this outfit to say the movies, or a fancy restaurant..you know…due to possibly running into someone I might know and all, I figure walking with sis, kids, and puppy on an empty road in the back of my house is safe enough..right?!  Well, off we go chatting away, kids running all over, puppy chasing kids and getting all tangled up in his leash and half way down the road we notice a vehicle turn on the road. Now this is the strangest looking vehicle I have ever seen. Especially from the front view. It looked like a VW bug with some sort of UFO detector on top of it, and it is driving straight towards us. Okay…thoughts at this moment are ” What the heck is that weird looking thing.”  Now stop for a minute and just imagine the face that comes along with that thought! We are talking squinty eyes, mouth open, dumbest look possible! I bet you have made it before. You know the one I’m talking about. Picture this….Me and my sis making the DUMB ” what is that” face, mouth open, squinty eyes, kids running all over, puppy chasing kids, and here comes the vehicle passing right by us. In BIG letters right on the side of the car it says..” GOOGLE MAPS!”   Ohhh…now I get it. Now I see why there is a big freaky tower looking thing attached to the top of that car!!..Because it just took our picture for the whole world to see!!!O.O My first thought….” ———-….yeah…I got nothin!! No thought at all!!! So here’s how this conversation went. Me : “OH CRAP!!” Sister:” Google maps….AWESOME!!!” Yes….My sister is ready to bust out with a musical number from Chicago, and I’m over here with the dumbest look possible and my vagina hanging out.  The vehicle has to turn around at the end of the cul de sac and make it’s way past us again so as it is coming back around, I’m doing my best to crouch behind my sis, or a kid, ..I even picked up puppy in hopes that his fluffiness could somehow hide me.   My sister is beaming with excitement, kids are still running all over, puppy is slobbering, and I’m looking…well…..you get the idea! These google maps drivers mean business too. They must be trained to have NO emotion whatsoever because this guy had the darkest sunglasses on, and refused to look at us. Although I think he secretly was laughing inside. Does he realize that he basically just Ruined my life!!!…okay, okay,   MAJOR over reaction there!!! * sigh    well…bright side : at least I’m not on the “people of walmart” website……Yet!      disclaimer ( not that there is anything wrong with the people of walmart) sometimes wearing a pink thong with jeans that are as low as your pube bone is nice looking…..O.O

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LOUISE ALLAN

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